Hellbound

6. Sorry, Not Sorry

Naomi almost forgot that Liberty is a demon. Almost.

She hated that she needed to witness a death for her stupid self to be reminded that the demon beside her is and never will be a guardian, like what he promised to become. Like what he lied to become. Ever since Naomi saw how effortless Liberty made the old man a sacrificial coin for her own sake, she had gone cold. Probably colder than a 10-year old corpse. Maybe her soul actually went down with the old man’s. She cannot bear this. She couldn’t get over this one death. One death is too many.

“It’s fine now, miss. You can go.” Naomi heard a female voice spoke soothingly beside her. But the voice didn’t reach his head. She was too lost to actually gave a response and just decided to pick herself up quite literally now. What she experienced just now wouldn’t pass as a witness statement. She recalled her tongue melting into a useless piece of muscle, unable to form coherent sentences. She blabbered something close to “I—the man—he was just—“ or “when I look at him, he’s crushed—and—I couldn’t…I can’t—.“ What an embarrassing piece of bullcrap she was.

Now that Naomi is walking away from the hospital with a hazy peripheral vision of red and black, she was also reminded that the devil is still with her. And she doesn’t know what’s worse, the fact that she couldn’t tell the police that Liberty is the culprit or that she’s brisking side by side with him away from the crime scene.  She doesn’t care if humans would call it an accident. It was clearly a crime scene for her. She’s starting to feel that she isn’t human after all.

“Come on, he deserved it.” Of course, the devil’s mouth will always run its course. Naomi ignored him.

“You know he deserved it.”

Silence.

“Naomi…” Liberty stopped walking. The clanks of his leather shoes halting as he grabbed Naomi by the arms. When the devil’s hands succeeded in making contact with her cold, porcelain skin again, he felt like it wasn’t only his feet that stopped moving. Everything in his body stopped functioning. If only the human girl knows…she wasn’t the only one who’ve gotten cold.

Liberty gulped. Hard. Just like Naomi, the devil is being hunted by so many questions inside his head right now. Why am I not feeling the thrill of killing? Can I really touch her for real now? Why did my kick worked on that hag? Not that Liberty will let confusion plaster on his face. He wouldn’t let Naomi smell that he was quite bothered by what he did too.

“Can you n-not?” Naomi tried her best to sound defiant but as soon as words escaped her mouth, her willpower was reduced to a soft, almost whispery request towards Liberty. Disgusting. She didn’t even had enough time to process that Liberty is actually grabbing her by the arm now. She ignored the way her shaking muscles relaxed in his palm’s commands. She ignored the softness in the devil’s voice when he called her name, as if the words she was expecting to hear from him was stuck in his soothing pitch. That despite him obeying his evil nature, there’s something deep within him that’s aching to get out. Desperate to be said out loud. I didn’t mean it.

“Listen. You saw what that fucker did to Mia.” The devil countered, the hint of softness in his voice was gone now. Maybe her head is juts making it up in the first place. Liberty was speaking like his old self. At least the one that she was used to bantering with.

“So?” She shrugged. Half-lidded eyes. Tired gaze.

“So you know he deserves to die.” The devil c****d his head to the side as if what he just said was the most obvious thing in the world. Naomi felt her heart drop to her stomach. She wishes she could just vomit it out so she will no longer feel like she was stabbed straight in the chest. “And here I thought I was the one naïve on the divine laws and s**t,” she cursed.

The devil only furrowed his eyebrows in all seriousness.

“Look, Liberty. I get that your evil nature thrives in someone like him. That old man was a sick f**k towards animals. The police said he was a sick f**k towards his neighbors too. So, I get it…I shouldn’t be defending the likes of him and you just saved me from danger but…” She started speaking properly since forever, feeling like a dam on the verge of bursting. She looked everywhere but his crimson eyes. But the devil only bore his orbs on her, waiting for her to get to the point.

“But I cannot rationalize what happened the way you rationalize it. I have guilt. I have conscience. For f**k’s sake, I am human!” She let it all out, hot tears threatening to fall from her eyes. Her chest heaved deeply and Liberty stood before her frozen in time. So this is how it feels like when a human reasons with you.

She tried her best to calm down, breathing in and out, careful not to make her next words caught up behind her throat. “I know what happened back there did not even reach your standard of evilness but for me… for me, it was too much. Too much.  Eternity wouldn’t even be enough to make me forget what you did back there.”

The devil blinked. Too much. Her words echoed inside his head like how his desire to become the best devil haunt him everyday.

“I’m sorry but to me, you are an asshole. No, you are a twisted murderer. A lost cause. And I don’t think I can stand to be with you any l-longer.”  The human girl gathered his last remaining strength to look at him straight in the eye before a streak of tear travelled down her soft, reddened cheeks.

Liberty doesn’t understand. He doesn’t understand the contradiction of it all. Clearly, she is fuming mad at him but why isn’t she blowing up towards him? Now that she can hit him, slap him, or kick him in the balls, why is she choosing to attack him with words instead?

It pisses him off, how a human being, an eternity younger than him, could be capable of so much goodness it felt cruel. He couldn’t recall encountering someone like her before. And for the first time in forever, he was lost on what to do. He felt weak before a human being. It pisses him the f**k off.

“I think it would be best if you could just…leave.” She wasn’t done with her cruelty but Liberty is out of patience already. This isn’t him. The devil decided to clench his teeth, denying that his heart is clenching too. But he doesn’t have a heart, does he? Liberty balls his fingers into a fist. If a human like her thinks that she can command him so easily, she’s dead wrong.

He took a step closer to Naomi until their faces became a hair away again, just like earlier, but now for a different reason. “Are you afraid of me?” He tried to take control of his energy again, emanating an intimidating aura that the girl find so frightening. Naomi couldn’t take her eyes away from those red orbs. A few days ago, they were nothing but harmless circles but now, she feels like they are ready to devour like they were beasts of their own.

“L-Liberty…I…what are you doing?” She hid her hands behind her bag, taking a hesitant step away from the devil but he wasn’t done. Seeing Naomi like this made his frenzy return. He almost forgot how good it feels like to see humans cower before his power. And he would be lying if he says he wasn’t tempted to do something else to her right now.

“I said, are you afraid of me?” He twirled a strand of her brown locks with his gloved hand, still surprised at how it dances physically between the gaps of his fingers.

“N-no.” Naomi stammered, feeling her mouth dry. A lump in her throat is forming again but she’d rather be dead than cry in front of a devil. She was determined not to give Liberty the satisfaction of seeing her suffer. So instead of stepping any further, she did the opposite. She took one solid step forward and their noses brushed. She could tell that Liberty was stunned but she kept her mouth shut. When the familiar smirk came playing on his mouth again, she felt it wasn’t familiar anymore. There’s a new meaning behind it now, something serious. Something ominous, but nothing she couldn’t stand up against. She tried to convince herself that, at least.

“I’m not afraid of you. I’m disgusted by you. I don’t want to do a pact with you anymore.” She held her ground, faking the strength that she was sure Liberty could taste at the tip of his tongue. Vermillion eyes glowed brighter.

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Kill yourself?” He said in a tone that sent every strand of hair in her body to stand. She couldn’t think of something smart to retort.

“You’re aware that I can do anything I want to you, right? You’re helpless before me Naomi and you’re only alive because of my mercy. But I think you’re forgetting that.” He lied. She wasn’t alive because of his mercy, she was alive because he needs her. But he was too far gone in playing this game with her now. He wouldn’t let her escape him, wouldn’t let her make him feel weak again. Ever.

The devil clicked his tongue before saying, “Maybe little Naomi needs to be reminded of her place.” Liberty observed in detail how Naomi’s lips parted slightly. How she’s trying her best to hide her ragged breaths behind determined eyes. Her hazelnut orbs speaking volume. You wouldn’t dare hurt me. Maybe she’s right. Maybe she’s wrong. He has two years or two seconds to find out.

“If you are expecting a pathetic apology from me angel, then expect anything else. I am not and will never be sorry for what I did. You can never make me feel bad about throwing useless human lives.” The words slip out his mouth smoothly, impulsively. But in all honesty. After all, Liberty is everything bad but he is never a liar. He doesn’t regret what he told her now until—

Until a hot, solid force, landed straight to his left cheek. He stumbled away from Naomi, shocked at the brute force her human palm just gave his supernatural face. When the devil turned back to face her, he felt like his non-existent soul was snapped back from reality.

As he witness the human girl’s face crumple in fear, her body tremble in defense, and her chest heaved in terror stupidly fast, his gaze travelled to the pair of brown eyes that are looking straight to his red ones. Anger, disgust, distrust.  Out of all the thoughts swimming inside his head, one was clearly drowning the devil now: what the f**k have I done?