The Raven Saga Box Set

Chapter 10

He laughed at me as I wrapped myself up and we stepped outdoors after I yelled to Meredith that we were going for a walk. She appeared briefly with a cheeky smile and winked at me before closing the front door.

“So...” I said.

“So...”

“Here, we are again.”

“Yup,” he answered as we strolled down the road.

I waited for him to say something to break the ice. We walked for a few minutes until he finally said, “Lilly?”

“Yes?” I answered, hopefully.

“Last night when we spoke, you mentioned that you were falling for Canada... well, I wanted to ask you if... if it is just Canada that you're falling for? Or whether there might be something, or someone, that you're falling for too,” he asked. But before I could answer, he blushed and added, “Sorry, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to.”

I wanted to answer his question; after all, I knew the answer. I was falling for him, without a doubt. I felt like we had a connection.

“Can I ask you a question?” I asked hesitantly.

“Shoot.”

“Why did you really come to see me tonight?” I asked bravely.

This time, his face turned pink before he replied.

“Honestly... I was hooked the second I laid eyes on you, Lilly. It's weird really, because I've always hung out with girls my age, but I almost feel like you've put a spell on me. Not that I'm calling you a witch or anything,” he laughed, “but I've never been bewitched before.”

During the silence that followed, I swear I could hear his, and my own, hearts beating.

I was so glad that I'd wrapped my scarf around my face... because I was blushing so much and grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

“And even though I barely even know you, I feel like I've always known you,” he laughed, breaking the silence, “and I can't believe I'm actually saying all this. Out loud. To you.”

“Well, I'm kind of glad that you are saying it out loud. To me. I know how you feel, Oliver. I like being around you. It just feels... right. But I guess we'll just have to get to know each other better won't we?” I replied happily, “but now... it's so freezing. Why don't you walk me back home?”

As we turned to walk back towards the house, I looked up at him and smiled. He caught me watching, and he laughed.

“In answer to your question... Canada isn't the only thing I'm falling for,” and I laughed cheekily as he took my gloved hand in his.

As we approached the front door, Oliver asked me out on a date, “a proper date,” he said, the following Friday night. I happily accepted, and he leaned in and gently kissed me on the cheek. My first kiss!

“I'll pick you up at seven,” he said, and then he was gone.

That night I drifted off to sleep happier than I had done for a long time. But my dreams were strange and vivid once again.

I found myself flying freely with the ravens while I was looking down at the cats below. Only this time they weren't small cats, one was a white mountain lion and the other a black panther.

They were stalking something. I couldn't quite see what it was, but as I flew closer, I saw that they were stalking Oliver. I tried to get his attention, but he couldn't see me, he could only see and hear ravens squawking at him from above. “Oliver, Oliver, watch out!” I yelled, but as hard as I tried to get him to understand me, I knew that all he could hear were the incomprehensible noises of a bird.

I tried to reach him in time, but it was no good, the cats had already pounced, and as I landed nearby, I saw that he was covered in blood. As I approached the b****y scene, the cats seemed to bow down to me and skulked away as I picked him up with ease and carried him to the waterside to try and clean his wounds, but as I looked down into the water, my reflection wasn't that of a raven or a girl... it was that of a mountain lion. I screamed.

I awoke with a start. My face was soaked from tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Lilly, goodness me,” said Meredith as she rushed into my room and switched on the light. Sitting down on the bed, she cradled me in her arms. “It's all right. It was just a bad dream. Just a dream. Shhhh. It's over. It's over.”

The tears wouldn't stop as I tried to tell her that Oliver was in danger. “The cats, the cats,” I sobbed.

“No, it was just a dream, sweetie. Oliver is fine. Calm down.” Eventually, I realised that it had been nothing but a nightmare – triggered by the memory of the words I had learnt just days before... that Oliver and Ben's parents had been killed by wild mountain lions. It was nothing more than my subconscious mind playing horrible tricks on me.

Meredith had been kind, assuring me that all was well. She even made me a cup of sweet cocoa to help soothe me back to sleep. The rest of the night went by quietly.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The following day I was awoken by the gentle sound of Gabriel's voice.

“Another dream, Meredith? I guess I have no choice now but to tell her the truth. I had hoped the dreams wouldn't have started until she was at least eighteen. I understand now that it is a sign. She must be told. It's such a shame that this is all happening now. She is so young,” he'd said.

I could hear the sadness in the way Gabriel spoke, and that made me feel sad, too, even though I had no idea what he had to tell me. I finally felt relief. Relief that, at last, I would know the truth. But along with the relief came the dread. After all, it must be bad for there to have been so much secrecy in the first place.

Now that I knew he planned to tell me, I waited for him to broach the subject, so that day I just acted as normal, I went to school and completed my homework before dinner. It was after we'd eaten and washed the dishes that something finally happened.

He had summoned my father's brother and sister, Wyatt and Meredith, who had arrived just as we had finished washing the dishes.

“Lilly. It is time,” said Gabriel, as Meredith took my hand and led me into the living room where we all sat in silence before Gabriel produced an old battered shoe box and took off the lid. In it were photos and letters. He handed me a picture of a very beautiful young woman with long black hair. There was something vaguely familiar about her. In her arms was a tiny newborn baby. Clearly, the photo had been taken in a hospital immediately after the baby had been born.

“Who is this?” I asked.

“Her name was Serena,” answered Meredith with a sad smile, “Lilly. This is your mother.”

I gasped and shook my head.

“No, my mother is Vivian. This isn't Vivian.”

“No, Lilly. Vivian isn't your mother. Serena is. And this little child is your sister, Neleh,” said Gabriel as he passed a number of different photos to me. All were the same little girl at different ages. One was the photo Ben had taken to the airport to identify me with. Gabriel told me it was the closest image he had of me. “You two looked so alike when you were babies.”

In another, the little girl was about four and was being cuddled by my father on a beach on a lovely sunny day. He looked like a completely different person, so happy. I had never seen him happy before. Another pictured her aged around 10, posing happily for the camera in this very living room with Gabriel laughing to her side. The most poignant image was that of her as a teenager pictured with Serena and my father. The image of a very happy family – it was then that I noticed Serena was pregnant.”

Wyatt spoke. “She was carrying you in this picture, Lilly.”

I shook my head, but deep down, I knew. It was obvious to see. I looked very much like Neleh and Serena. And as I looked at the photos, I realised that Serena was the woman from my dream. I didn't know what to think. For so many years, I had grown up believing Vivian was my mother, yet I had never felt any kind of bond with her. She had always made it blatantly obvious that she didn't care for me. It made sense. I felt my eyes welling up, so I blinked hard to try and get rid of the tears before they spilt down my face.

“Lilly,” said Gabriel, “this is just the beginning. There are things we need to tell you that you are going to find hard to believe.”

I nodded, unable to say a word.

“Just after you were born, Neleh was killed,” said Wyatt.

I gasped and gulped back the tears as it hit me that I'd once had a sister, but now she was dead.

“And shortly afterwards... Serena died too. I'm so sorry, Lilly,” he said sadly.

“What? But how? Why?” I cried, looking down at the picture of the happy family, ripped apart by two deaths.

“Nobody knows exactly what happened, dear. All we know is that Neleh was murdered in the forest. By who or what we don't know for sure – although there were suspicions at the time,” said Meredith as she held my hand tightly in hers.

“Suspicions?” I asked.

Gabriel looked so angry, but before he could speak, he was interrupted by Wyatt, “Lilly there is a man in that forest who is believed to have been responsible for Neleh's death. His name is Sammy Morton.”

Gabriel gave me another photo showing Neleh probably a couple of years older than me, pictured with a handsome young man with olive skin and black hair and even darker eyes. They looked so happy together.

“Is that him?” I asked.

Meredith nodded.

“But they looked so happy. Why would he kill her? I don't understand.”

“Nobody understands. But he hasn't been seen since. There was a lot of talk. But we can't be sure,” added Meredith.

The angry look on Gabriel's face suggested he thought Sammy was guilty.

“But what about Serena? What about my mother?” I asked.

“Your mother killed herself, Lilly,” said Wyatt, quietly.

“How could she do that? How could she just leave me, her baby. Her own daughter?” I cried.

“Again, Lilly dear, we do not understand that either. Grief is a funny thing. People react to it in such unusual ways. She must have been so heartbroken, and she just couldn't believe that her eldest daughter was dead. That combined with postnatal hormones. We simply don't know. We wish we knew what had been happening. Perhaps we could have stopped her from doing what she did. Serena was my best friend, Lilly. It was tough to understand for me too,” said Meredith as she choked back the tears.

“Tell me,” I asked slowly, “tell me how she did it. How did my mother kill herself?”

Gabriel stood up abruptly then and turned his back towards me as if he was still struggling to come to terms with what had happened all those years ago. He spoke slowly and quietly, “She just walked out of the hospital in the middle of the night and continued walking until she reached the highest point in the forest and she threw herself into the river. She must have half frozen to death before she even got there. All she had on was a hospital gown. She didn't even have any shoes on. It was December. It was freezing.”

I could barely breathe. My mother. My true flesh and blood. The woman who had carried me for nine months and had given birth to me had killed herself just after I was born. I could picture her walking through the snow, barefoot – yet she was probably barely even aware of the cold. Clearly, all she could think of was the death of her precious daughter. My sister. Both were dead. Tears rolled down from the corners of my eyes. I couldn't stop them. Soon my face was completely wet.

Gabriel approached me and crouched down in front of me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and patted me. Looking me deep in the eyes, he said, “I didn't just lose my grandchild and my daughter-in-law that night, Lilly. I lost your father, and I lost you too.” He held me close to him then, just for a moment.