The Raven Saga Box Set

Chapter 25

“Come and sit down, Lilly. There's nothing you can do,” said Sammy kindly.

I shook my head and sighed heavily, wishing that there was something I could do.

Then the phone rang. Knowing that he shouldn't answer it in case it was someone other than a family member, he picked it up without saying a word and listened carefully. It was Jo, however. Relieved to hear a friendly voice, he recounted what had happened, and she told him she would be right over.

Luckily she only lived a stone's throw away, so she arrived within a few minutes.

With a gentle knock on the door, Sammy gingerly peered through the window to make sure it was her. When he saw that it was, he opened the door, and she stepped in, becoming speechless at the sight of me in all my feline glory.

“Wow, Lilly. This is amazing. You're a... you're a mountain lion. A black one!” she exclaimed, stating the obvious. “Do you mind if I stroke your head?” she asked tentatively.

I shook my head, and she moved closer to me, and I felt her hand softly touch the top of my head and move slowly down my back. It was a soothing motion, helping me to feel a bit calmer after everything that had happened.

Suddenly the bedroom door opened and Rose appeared, shutting it behind her.

“It's good of you to come, Jo. I think Lilly needs as much support as she can get right now. I'm afraid Oliver's not taking this very well.”

I sighed loudly once again, wishing I could rewind time and save Oliver and myself all this heartache. Although he was probably feeling something far more than heartache – shock, outright disgust, perhaps?

As the three spoke amongst themselves for a few moments, I tried to will myself to change back, closing my eyes hard and thinking, 'change, change, change'. But nothing happened, and so I had no choice but to wait until it occurred naturally.

“Well, I have said everything that I can say and done everything that I can do. Gabriel is the best person to reason with Oliver at this stage, so I think you and I should go back to my house, Lilly. Jo, can you stay for a while? Gabriel might need you.”

Jo agreed and asked whether she should call anyone else.

“I'll leave that up to Gabriel. He will let you know. Just wait for him, okay?”

Again she nodded, “I'll make us some tea, Sammy. You two go. Don't worry. I'm sure everything will be all right.”

Rose beckoned me to follow her as she opened the front door, and so we walked in silence for a few minutes before she turned to look at me and smiled.

“A mountain lion, eh?” she said with pride. “Your mother would have been so proud of you, Lilly. Of course, we knew that you wouldn't just be any old cat... or raven,” she added.

It was then that I thought about ravens. I had become a cat, not a bird. Gabriel must have been a little disappointed that I had inherited my mother's genes and not my father's. Especially considering there was no other family member, at that stage, that was able to become the bird of our ancestors.

I thought how great it would have been to be able to fly, but as I looked around at my surroundings and smelled the wonderful things I could smell and heard the extraordinary things I could hear, I didn't feel any disappointment. Although I still wondered how I was going to return to my old self, and I dreaded the pain that I had felt earlier that evening, I was still amazed at my whole transformation.

It hadn't happened how I had hoped it would. I had imagined myself something like Professor McGonagall in Harry Potter who could change in the blink of an eye, without an ounce of pain. That is how I'd wanted it to happen and in the company of a select few. Certainly not in the company of Oliver. But that is exactly what had happened, and I couldn't take it back. My relationship with him was ruined. And there was nothing I could do about it.

Rose had become quiet once again, deep in thought, I imagined as we trampled through the undergrowth beneath the tall trees and headed in the direction of her home. Although I wasn't looking where I was going, I knew we were close because I could hear all of her cats. I could smell them too but more than anything I could almost feel the sound of their hearts, beating gently, keeping them alive.

Of course, I could 'feel' Rose's heartbeat even louder than anything, and it was beating a little quicker than when we had left my house. I looked at her, and it amazed me that this seventy-plus (she still hadn't told me her actual age) year-old woman was capable of such a massive transformation. She was still incredibly fit and agile. She was a force to be reckoned with, and I was intensely proud that I could call her family.

We arrived at the front door, and as she pushed it open, Scully was the first to rush out. The hair on her back raised high as she saw me, and she arched her back. I noticed that her eyes had become as black as coal again as she stared deep into my eyes. I just stood still, waiting for some kind of recognition. It didn't take long. Within seconds, she relaxed completely and approached me, purring happily.

Rose smiled too and patted her on the back, “I knew she would recognise you. She just needed a moment,” she said.

As I entered the house, I had similar experiences with the rest of the animals, and soon it was as normal, the cats curling up in various nooks and crannies wherever they could.

Rose walked into the kitchen and sat down, taking off her black pumps and replacing them with a pair of warm slippers.

“Right,” she said, “we need to get you back to Lilly, the girl. As much as I love this new look.”

I sat beside her and waited for her to tell me what to do.

“And don't worry, I've got clothes for you to wear here,” she laughed. “You'll find that it becomes very useful to keep clothes at the homes of all our family members,” she laughed.

“Now, the key is to relax. It's really quite simple, but it will take some getting used to.”

I tried to do as she said, but nothing happened and so I sat and focused on relaxing and being calm. Nothing. I was still a mountain lion.

“Okay, let's try something different. Lie down completely,” I did as she said and curled up on the soft rug beside the kitchen countertop.

“Now close your eyes. Slow your breathing down and relax. Feel as though your muscles are falling away from your bones. That's it. Breathe in slowly. Breathe out slowly. In. Out. In. Out.”

Sure enough, as I completely relaxed my body, I felt something happen within me. There was no pain like before. It was incredibly uncomfortable but strangely pain-free. And finally, moments later, I felt my whole body become human again. I opened my eyes to find Rose had gone. I stood up and turned around, conscious of my nakedness. At first, I had felt very warm but soon grew cold.

Rose appeared from another room carrying a pair of pink pyjamas and some thick purple woolly socks. “I told Gabriel you would stay here tonight. I think it's for the best,” she said as she handed me the warm clothes. I slipped them on, quickly warming up before I thanked her.

Once dressed, she hugged me long and hard, “It's a tough life sometimes, Lilly. We can never know what's going to happen. But you mustn't worry yourself over Oliver. What's done is done. He will survive.”

For the first time since early that evening, I broke down in tears. They flowed for a long time afterwards. No matter how hard I tried to choke them back, my cheeks would become soaked once again. Rose was perfect company. She knew exactly what to say and when not to say anything, and I was particularly grateful for her wisdom that night.

When my eyes and cheeks finally became drier, Rose heated up some milk on the stove while I heaped a few teaspoons of cocoa into a couple of mugs. Hours later, we were still talking about love, life, Serena, Neleh, Walter, Lori, Sammy, Oliver, December and everything else that mattered to us both. We bonded more that night than we had ever done before. Rose had become something of a surrogate mother to me.

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

I didn't speak to Oliver again after that. I tried phoning him, but he ignored all my calls. My emails bounced back, and my letters were returned unopened.

Gabriel had reasoned with him and thankfully he had agreed to keep our family's secret, but at a price. The price being that he no longer wanted to be a part of our lives.

I was heartbroken. Not just for me but for Gabriel who cherished him and had done so ever since he was born.

I was also sad for his brother Ben who was completely unaware of what had happened. Oliver had agreed Ben was better off not knowing the truth that surrounded him. He then left Powell River, out of our lives. I knew that the fault lay entirely with me.

Ben had attempted to find out the truth behind his sudden departure, but we refused to give him any more details than absolutely necessary. All he had been told was that Oliver and I had a huge disagreement, so big that he no longer wanted to live here. Apparently, he'd told Ben he had always yearned for more than being stuck in Powell River, so it seemed the perfect time to get away and explore what he really wanted out of life.

Ben simply accepted what he had been told. The excuses made sense to him, and so he carried on life as normal. Well, as normal as could be expected considering his beloved younger brother had effectively run away.

I could tell that it pained him that Oliver had left, but he told me that, regardless of his reasons for leaving, he was also proud that Oliver had decided to stand on his own two feet and was going to have his own adventure.

After several weeks when I asked after Oliver, Ben told me that he regularly talked to him on the phone but when I asked for more details – how he was, where he was, etc., Ben just said that he was doing okay but that he had promised Oliver not to tell me where he was or what he was doing. His only message to me: 'please stay away and don't try to contact me'. When Ben told me those words, I hid away for a while, shed a few tears and did my best to move on, but it wasn't easy.

Although I blamed myself, I refused to let it affect my life negatively. I still had a life, and I intended to live it as best as I could. That didn't mean I didn't miss Oliver, though. I missed him terribly. He had been such an important part of my early life in Canada, and I wished that things had happened differently with him. He deserved it... and so did I.

My life continued, not quite as normal as before, but continued nonetheless. With Oliver no longer in the picture, Sammy didn't have as much to worry about because we rarely had any other visitors to our home. The two of us became very close, he was like a brother to me, and I loved him dearly, and I knew he loved me too. I was the little sister he had never had. There were days we would spend hours in the forest, Sammy showing me how he had lived there for so many years.

Throughout that lonely time, he'd had no choice but to become totally self-sufficient – hunting for food and furs to keep himself warm during the winters, creating shelter, building fires... he taught me all of this and more, at the same time helping me to develop my own fitness and strength too.