Deep Sigh

The Search

*Sophie*

My parents wasted no time in setting up visits with our ally packs. At first I was excited, but the more packs we visited the more I became embarrassed. After the first couple failed trips, and returning back home to Iron Moon to see the pitty in people's eyes I started to resent going. I think my parents had started to lose hope too, honestly. We stopped going so often and eventually I would just tag along when my dad had business to attend with other packs. We had a huge party for graduation and they invited everyone they could think of in hopes that maybe, just maybe, I would finally find him. Once summer started to wind down and College was due to start, I decided I would present my plans to my parents.

I had decided that while we were out in one of our trips I would open the discussion in the car, but I had to wait until the perfect time. There was definitely a huge perk to going on these boring trips all the time though, and that was getting to listen in on what was going on in the territory. I had started noticing one name in particular that was brought up more often in each pack we visited, and what piqued my interest was the note of either fear or sometimes even awe in the men's voices when they spoke of him. From what I could gather out of the snippets I could hear was that he was a ruthless and powerful Alpha. When the men spoke of him I heard he was said to rule with no mercy, and was swift in his punishments. It seemed that he was beginning to be considered our rival, but the gossip I heard from the women was almost worse. Rumor was that he was around 23, and had still not found a mate, and they argued if it was because he was that ugly that he got rejected, or so ruthless that he had no heart to be matched with a mate. They said standing in a room with him was like touching an electric fence, and his aura was so strong you could feel it. Also, that he just took women at his will, no matter how they felt about it and then killed them when he was done. I couldn't help but laugh at that last theory though just because if he was that violent and dangerous I imagine I would have heard of him long before now.

Being a very powerful Alpha from the territory to our north called Blood Moon Rising and the fact that he was in command of nearly as many packs as my father, seemed to have ruffled a lot of feathers and had tensions rising more as the summer carried on. There were people talking about how they feared that he would try to converge on our land and take their homes and land by force, and some of the northern packs worried even more because the pack on the northern most part of the boarder seemed like they may consider leaving and breaking our alliance to join in with his which would mean war.

As I listened in I started to be able to tell which trips were good and which trips were bad, and that's how I was going to decide when to bring up my college plans. After each voyage I would return home and be instantly d**g away by Sasha so I could spill all the juicy details and work on the final touches of her wedding which was only weeks away.

We had one last trip scheduled to visit some of our packs in the south and this was the trip I knew I would bring up my plans. It was perfect because tensions were low in the south and things were going really well in that part of the territory so I knew that my dad would be in a good mood on our trip home, and how right I was.

When we arrived at Hunter's Moon pack house we were greeted and escorted back to the gardens where the meeting was nothing more than a glorified brunch party. I almost couldn't sit still with excitement knowing that this was the day I would make my college desires known. I had everything ready and all I needed was my parents approval. I had filled out an application before school had ended and got my acceptance letter sent to one of my friends house, so that no one in the pack house, nor my parents would see it and ask. My acceptance letter never left my side be it in my pocket, purse or backpack I made sure to keep it with me for the perfect moment.

I could hardly hide my excitement and it must have been showing because half way through brunch my mom leaned over and excitedly asked,

"what's going on? have you found your mate?"

Shocked, I looked at her and said,

"no, I just have something I really want to talk to you and dad about and I think today would be perfect."

The surprise showed on her face shortly after a flash of disappointment, then she turned and resumed her conversation with the other Luna.

After everyone said their good byes and all hands were shook we finally climbed into our car and started heading home. At this point I was practically buzzing with excitement and nerves. My mom must have noticed because hadn't stopped peeking at me every chance she got after our conversation earlier. Finally she broke the silence and said,

"so, what is it?"

My dad, oblivious to anything going on looked at mom and then at me and then mom continued,

"your daughter is practically vibrating with excitement for something, before you get excited its not a mate," she interjected, "and was supposedly going to tell us later, which just so happens to be now, so"

She said, now fully turned in her chair to look at me. Dad's eyes locked on me in his mirror,

"spill it. what's going on?"

Taking a deep breath I reached in my pocket and pulled out my acceptance letter.

"I've been accepted at the local university and I want to go."

I blurted out.

Silence. Deafening silence. I heald my breath waiting for someone to say something, anything, but there was nothing but silence.

I took another deep breath and spilled all my plans that I had been making sense my birthday, about how I was giving the mate search an honest chance before bringing up the plan that way if I found him it wouldn't even matter, but now sense we still hadn't found him and we had been all over at this point that is was useless and this is what I wanted. After I finished, I looked at my parents and they just sat there, still in silence. Not a single word was spoken for the rest of the trip and I just sat there feeling confused and defeated, I felt as if the air was being deflated from me and all I wanted to do was cry. The silence now was just brutal.