Wide Awake Chaos - Shadow Warrior Series

2 - Know Your Place

~Harlow’s Point of View~

~Warning: Assault~

Just play it cool, act like nothing is different. I mean, so far it isn’t anyhow right? Goddess I’m such a bad liar, it never ends well.

I keep my head low as usual as I wander into the house where I’m supposed to live, but dread coming into more and more. But I got a J-O-B today!! Things are going to change.

I sigh as I see pups are running all over, long past their bedtime. I’ve tried my best not to get too close to any of them, but sometimes it’s hard. It isn’t their fault, none of this is.

When I see the bed that’s supposed to be mine is empty, I breathe a sigh of relief. Snatching my nightgown, I quickly handle my business in the bathroom and get ready for bed. For the first time in a long while, I feel hopeful. I feel like a better future isn’t too far off. It doesn’t hurt that I’m going to bed on a full stomach for once.

Just as I lay eyes on my bed again, there are two toddlers in it, passed out cold. I make a face and hang my head.

“There’s plenty of room in my bed,” I hear, as I look up into Billy’s eyes. The awful waft of booze practically floats off him and I hold my breath. I quickly turn my gaze back toward the floor, ready to just crawl under the bed and sleep. Done it plenty of times before.

“I’ll manage,” I say, and step to the side.

Suddenly, a large hand slaps itself onto my arm. Everything in me freezes, pure panic grips me. Whatever has happened, he’s never tried anything s****l with me. But it couldn’t last forever. I’m not naive enough to think my virginity will wait to find some perfect mythical fated mate, but I always hoped I’d be the one to at least choose my first.

“Betty is away tonight…” he whispers, as I bite the inside of my cheek. My first instinct is to scream, but there’s no one to care. Suddenly sleeping in the shed with it locked, is sounding pretty good.

My arm practically burns with his touch, so much so that I jerk it away, not caring about the consequences.

“I better get my rest then, I’ll need to make breakfast for the pups before I leave for school,” I say, though I’m not dumb enough to think he’ll give up easily. There’s no chance I’ll turn my back to him either, so I take a large step behind me, then another.

Right now I’d rather be at any one of the half dozen foster homes that had taken me in over the years. I’d even lived in the woods with some other orphans for a few months. That seemed like a good idea at the time but they were no better; everyone was out for themselves. You had to sleep with one eye open. It wasn’t even the males I feared then, the girls were the absolute worst.

My head stays down and when he doesn’t grab for me again, I keep moving. Maybe I feel a surge of empowerment after my meeting with Skip, maybe I’ve just had enough of Billy. I have a sudden burst of feeling more awake than I ever have, more driven.

If I had to guess my age I’d say I was about 17, at least I felt like it. Birthdays weren’t a priority for me to keep track of while trying to survive. I didn’t even know how to read until a couple of years ago. I wasn’t helpless certainly; but that’s how Billy operates -- praying on the weak. His mate is just like him and the two of them together are a different kind of terror.

They’ve absolutely pegged me as pathetic and I can’t do it anymore. I need to fight.

Finding strength from somewhere, I spin on my heel and throw myself forward with all I’ve got. I practically lunge keeping my feet light and fast. I don’t look back, I don’t even breathe. Where will I go? I have no idea. I’ll take my chances in the woods tonight. Tomorrow is a new day, a new chance to figure it out. I just have to get away.

Betty and Billy live on the outskirts of a large pack, and get basically “tolerated” though they’re rogues. There are a few other cabins around, some camps. Maybe the pack will take me in, I have to hope. We’re always told packs hate all rogues, even pups.

By the time I make my way through the house and blow through the kitchen, I have a fleeting thought that he’s not following me. I don’t hear him at least. I take the smallest second to draw a deep breath as I push through the screen door, throwing it open so hard it slams against the house. My feet continue forward, even though the grass is damp. Even though it’s squishy.

You’re outside, just keep going! Just get into the woods Harlow, almost--

“Uhhfff,” I cry out, when I hit what feels like a wall. It’s unforgiving, and massive. My foot brushes up against a large boot telling me I didn’t hit a tree.

“Ohhh, she’s a fighter, I like it. A little too much. I’ll enjoy making sure she knows her place,” a loud voice booms, just in my ear. Bile rises in my throat but I can’t let it get to me. I need to keep all my wits about me.

My gut instinct is to fight, but as I look up, I see at least two more males. I nearly faint taking them in, realizing I’ve got nowhere to go. Fighting gives them exactly what they want, they’ll probably get off on it. When big arms come around me, my hands instinctively push back on the chest I’m pressed against and try to break the hold.

“She’s a pup but she’s had her monthly time for years. She’s fair game,” Billy taunts, just behind me. I gulp as pure panic sets in. It doesn’t even matter that I went to the devil for help earlier, he’s not here now.

Sweat begins to bead on my skin, a heat courses over me.

“Ohh she’s sweet alright. Clean, innocent … and pure,” I hear, as the male’s hot and rotten breath washes over me. His hands move to my butt, and squeeze tightly, making me jump.

My body reacts before I even can, and I gather all the spit I can, then project it right into the face of the wall still caging me to him. I know fully well he could snap my neck, I’m the skinniest I’ve ever been. With the little food I get, I also don’t have a huge amount of energy. But if I have to fight for my life?

I’ll go out with all I’ve got left in me. My integrity is all I have.

I whip my body to the right to get out of his grip, but I only make it one step before hands grab at me. Before the males start yelling at me to fight back. My feet leave the ground as I continue to struggle, as my arms and legs thrust and shove with all they’ve got.

None of it matters.

I scream, not for someone in particular. Just loud, guttural. Like I’m on fire, like I’m possessed. Maybe a bear would even hear me and help. I scream until my lungs burn but it does nothing. The males carry me into the woods, and no amount of kicking or thrashing is going to stop them.

I feel primal, like a wild animal that’s been caged. I feel like I’m burning and their touches, their harsh grips are literally searing into my skin. I let out a final warrior cry but maybe it's just a last ditch effort for help. It doesn’t matter what I do though, their hands are gone and I’m dropping.

“Uh! Uhh,” I groan, as practically all the air bursts out of my lungs like flames. My entire body feels like a thousand degrees, but when they loom over me… I realize two are already naked. It’s as if a flash of ice surges through me all at once, and I freeze. It’s dark out here, but it’s impossible not to see them so close. Hands pull at me from all directions and I can’t move for what seems like eternity.

“Come on girl, tell me how much you want it,” one of them shouts, as he grabs my leg. My body pulls it away on its own, finally able to budge.

“Yeah pup, keep fighting, it’s hot,” another taunts.

“She smells so damn good, she’s near her fertile time too. Which one of us will be the lucky daddy? I bet we can keep her out here for days of fun,” another says, leaning down into my face. Now, when the bile rises again, there’s no stopping it. I jerk my head to the side and lose everything I ate today. But they don’t stop, not for a second.

Tears well in my eyes as I push my palms into the ground and try to crawl away. But once I lift myself up even a little, someone grabs my ankles and flips me over. I grunt in frustration because now, there’s absolutely nowhere to go. Nothing I can do. I try in vain to scream, but my lungs can’t contract enough.

Then there’s weight on my back, on my leg. A big hand holds my head still. I’m completely at their mercy as they tear at my gown, at my underwear. With my cheek against mud, it’s all I can do to try and be somewhere else. To ignore the pain of what they’re doing. There are slaps, scratches and even kicks to every part of me.

That’s the least of my worries. Any attempt I make to move is futile, so I finally go limp. I pretend I’m dead, I pretend to already be plotting my revenge. Haunting them all as a ghost perhaps.

It takes all I have but I try to ignore when they spread my legs, when it feels as if they’ll break me in two. When a new and blunt burning sensation hits me, it takes any last semblance of innocence I once had. When they congratulate whichever male it is that’s ruining me, that’s doing all he can to break my spirit, tears soak my cheeks and just create mud that my face is being rubbed into.

The weight on me is almost too much, it feels as if two are sitting directly on me. Breathing takes almost all my concentration.

It’s temporary, I tell myself. But I know it’s a lie. If I live, this complete humiliation will follow me forever. I’ll be even more of an outcast, I’ll be labeled as a w***e though none of this was my fault. Kiss school goodbye, any chance at a better life.

I feel as though I’m hallucinating when the ground literally vibrates, because I’ve never experienced an earthquake. A hard kick to my side knocks the air out of me, and my vision goes blurry.

The growls are deafening, they seem to come from everywhere. The sudden smell of blood consumes me. It also covers me, it's warm and freakishly comforting. Almost, familiar. For a brief moment, there is no longer pain and when the darkness wants me, I let go.