Baller’s Secret Baby

Chapter 1 Nick One Year Ago She told me there was a baby. That’s how my mother got me to come to her house when I was supposed to be at basketball practice. Now that she’s got me there, she tells me there’s not a baby. “What the hell, Mom? I thought you said some b***h was growing a mini-me over on the south side, which is why I blew off practice. That’ll cost me thousands in fines. Not to mention coach is gonna be pissed.” She ought to know that. Not only was Lucinda Barnes my mother, she was also my agent and the agent for twin brother and sister who are pop stars, and my other sister Dynassy, who’s a model. Between our careers, the family reality show, and our late father’s music—our mother headed up an entertainment empire that had no rivals. And most of the time her children felt more like underappreciated employees than cherished family members. I wish I could say I broke the land speed record getting over here, but instead I’d been stuck in LA traffic most of the way, punching the steering wheel trying to remember who the hell I slept with who could be claiming to be pregnant with my child. I was a freaking priest when it came to using condoms. Couldn’t recall one breaking in years. Hell, I hadn’t even f****d many women lately. Once the start of the season rolled around my mind centered on hoops and hoops alone. When I was ballin’, a woman might be a good short-term stress reliever, but in my experience, they were more of a headache than they were worth. If I let them distract me, they only sapped my strength. Now, in the off-season—that was a different story. Then I’d had a different woman every night, and I didn’t let them stick around long enough to think they could have a say in my life. God knows there’s only room for one controlling b***h in my life, and it’s my mother. Lucinda Barnes is the matriarch of our family, and she makes it impossible for any other woman to last very long. Like the mystery one I was summoned to discuss today. “Why don’t you sit down, Nick honey?” Lucinda floated around the room wearing spider-like false eyelashes and a colorful caftan. These outfits of hers drove my sister Dynassy crazy. She hated Lucinda’s pretense of just lolling around in these big robes, when she was really in full production mode, face and hair fully done. I dropped into the nearest chair. Uncomfortable as always. With as much money as our family brought in for her, I couldn’t see why Lucinda couldn’t afford to find furniture that was both stylish and comfortable. “Do you want a drink? You might need one for this.” “No, I don’t want a f*****g drink, Mother. I’m in training.” I shot her a look. She knew that. How could she be so on top of some things, yet other things skidded under her radar completely? Things that were important to me. “By the way, where are the cameras?” Whenever you came to my mother’s house, you ran the risk of being on TV. “Our little show”, as she liked to call it, was one of the highest grossing cable reality shows of all time. “The Barnes Bunch” was in its fifth season and showed no signs of slowing down. Every once in a while, one of us kids threw a fit and refused to be on it, but eventually we all got sucked into the vortex that was Lucinda. “This is too important to discuss in front of the cameras. Plus, I don’t want to give anybody out there any ideas.” “Mom, what are you talking about?” My patience with the whole Lucinda-induced drama was wearing thin. Tilting her nose in the air, Lucinda countered, “You don’t need to get snippy with me, young man. If it wasn’t for Calvin and me you might have a dozen little illegitimate Barnes running around out there costing you millions.” I took a deep breath, wishing she would hurry the hell up so I could get back to the gym. “Do you remember, about two months ago when you banged some girl after a home game? A blonde I think. You checked into the Marmont?” Oh, f**k. That’s right. My buddy Kristoff and I had met these two girls at a restaurant. Kristoff had been buying them drinks at the bar. He’s a teammate. Slovenian fresh off the boat who hasn’t gotten used to all the free p***y. His girl’s friend had been cute. Kristoff paid for the rooms, she promised to blow me…yeah, I remembered. “Except I didn’t bang her.” It was true. I hadn’t had s*x with the girl, but I had taken her up on her offer of a BJ. Hell, I was human. “Well, something happened, and you left a little piece of yourself behind,” she paused, waiting for this information to register with me before she continued. “Your semen to be precise.” My stomach hit the floor. That wasn’t possible. The only place I’d deposited that was… A tsunami of dread overcame me. “I came in her mouth,” I admitted, hiding my face in my hands—not because I was ashamed, but because I was expecting Lucinda to throw something at me. “Thank God for Calvin is all I’ve got to say.” Lucinda paced over to the bar and poured herself two thick fingers of vodka. “Why? What did Calvin do?” I sat up straight. Calvin was a member of my security detail. “He intercepted the little b***h trying to hand off a cup full of your spunk to some motherfucker who was waiting outside. Probably intended to use it to inseminate more than one money-grubbing w***e, as many as they could. Honey, do you not understand? Your d**k is worth millions to these women.” “That’s disgusting, Mom. I’m not a porn star.” Sometimes she crossed boundaries in a way that made me squeamish. I mean, who wants to hear those words come out of their mother’s mouth? “No, but you’re a basketball star who’s worth a lot of money, and if a woman is fortunate enough to find herself carrying your baby—she’s guaranteed herself a steady annual paycheck in the millions that will last for the next eighteen years.” “f**k. So you’re saying that b***h kept my c*m in her mouth then spit it in a cup and handed it off to somebody?” She shrugged, broadcasting disdain from her shoulders. “You’d know better than me.” “That’s disgusting.” “People are disgusting. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Only you never listen to your mother. Nick, you’re an attractive man. I’m afraid there’s an entire city here that thinks boinking you is a fabulous way to earn a living.” I cringed at the word “boinking.” “So what’s the deal? Why did it take this long for you to tell me this?” “I only just heard from Calvin. He’s been watching this woman and her cohorts to make sure she didn’t turn up pregnant first. Apparently enough time has passed that if she’d implanted herself with your seed and gotten pregnant before he got to her, we’d know by now.” I scowled. “This whole thing is unbelievable.” It pissed me off Calvin was Lucinda’s guy and not mine. So much for loyalty. I mean, I appreciated the guy’s help, but we were talking about my sperm here! Surely, he should have told me. Lucinda walked over and patted my cheek. “I know, sweetie. You never do seem to recognize that there are consequences to your actions. You’ve got to wrap that thing, even for oral sex.” “Mom!” “What? I’m just saying…” I stood up. I’d had about all I could take of the “mommy knows best” routine. “Where are you going?” “Practice,” I said through gritted teeth, already halfway out the door. “Don’t bother,” she said smugly. Bile rose in my throat, and I glanced back over my shoulder. “What do you mean?” “You’ve been traded.”