IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU (The Thorntons #3)

Chapter 2-2

"s**t, what did you do to yourself?" Caleb asked, seeing Mark's arm. "Did you get run over by a tractor?"

"Hilarious. No, I got thrown from my horse."

Caleb's eyes widened. "Damn, man, be careful. You're lucky it wasn't your neck."

Mark grunted, agreeing with his older brother's assessment but not wanting to admit it. He'd been stupid, riding a horse that still needed training. But he'd assumed his experience would outweigh a touchy horse's predilection for getting spooked.

"Glad you're okay," Harrison, the eldest Thornton brother, said as he handed Mark a beer. "How long do you have to wear a cast?"

"Six weeks, give or take. The break was clean."

Mark chatted with his brothers before they all went into the dining room in Caleb and Megan's new house. Megan had insisted on having everyone over to celebrate the move.

"Everyone" included Harrison and his fiancée Sara, Caleb and his girlfriend Megan, and Jubilee, the youngest Thornton. Megan owned The Rise and Shine, the local bakery downtown, and she liked to experiment with her cuisine. Based on the amazing smells wafting from the kitchen, dinner would be a hit.

Mark couldn't stop himself from feeling like a third wheel, despite his brothers' best efforts to include him in the conversation. He listened to a lot of chatter about Sara and Harrison's upcoming wedding, and how Caleb and Megan enjoyed living together.

He also couldn't stop the curl of envy in his gut every time he looked at his brothers. They'd both fallen in love with incredible women who adored them.

Jubilee sat next to Mark, giving him a secret smile, like she knew how he felt about being single amidst all of these lovebirds.

As far as Mark knew, Jubilee hadn't dated anyone. The thought of his baby sister with a man made him want to punch somebody. Jubilee had suffered two bouts of childhood leukemia, and the family had protected her from the world as a result.

Mark sometimes had a hard time seeing Jubilee as a grown woman now. He couldn't help but remember Jubilee as a child, bald and sick, hooked up to wires and machines.

But the future marched on, even if Mark didn't want it to. Jubilee was grown; his brothers were in love; and he was still alone, like he liked it.

When Megan asked Sara if she'd decided on her wedding colors, Mark almost groaned.

Jubilee leaned over to ask, "How's Delilah?"

That made him smile. Delilah was his chestnut mare who was due to give birth with her first foal soon. He'd acquired Delilah over a year ago, and she'd become his favorite horse, mostly for her sassy personality and love of carrots.

"She's doing good. I think she'll be pretty uncomfortable soon, though, but her foal is growing as it should," he said.

"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"

"It's a girl."

Jubilee smiled, surprised. "Honestly, I didn't think you'd know that, but I don't know anything about horses. Aw, Mark, you're going to have a little girl."

Mark tugged on Jubilee's braid, rather like he did when they were kids.

"Who's having a girl?" Megan asked from across the table. "Are we talking about human girls or some other species?"

"We're talking about horses," Jubilee replied. "Mark's horses, specifically."

"You're having a baby horse? Oh, when? I want to see a baby horse!" Megan looked enchanted by the idea.

"It's called a foal," Caleb said, which earned him a stuck-out tongue and a threat to keep his big mouth shut if he didn't want to pay for it later.

The group peppered Mark with questions, which he didn't mind answering. He'd begun breeding horses two years ago, but Delilah was something special. Multiple breeders had wanted to breed their stallions to her, and Mark had a distinct feeling she'd bring him quite a lot of money in the end. But Mark had waited until Delilah was a little older, and this year was the first time she'd be foaling.

"I'd love to come out sometime to see your ranch," Sara said. "James, too." James was Sara's six-year-old son from her previous marriage.

"Oh man, can you imagine James riding a horse?" Megan laughed. "He'd never get off of it!"

"I don't give riding lessons," Mark said.

When Harrison raised an eyebrow at him, he could've bitten his tongue in half. He didn't mean to sound like an asshole, at least most of the time.

"I mean, I don't know much about teaching kids," he explained to Sara.

Sara didn't look offended; instead, she smiled at him. "I wouldn't want to try to keep James away from horses, either, even if he'd probably get kicked within five minutes."

Everyone laughed, the brief tension dispelled.

When Megan mentioned that she'd talked to Abby recently, Mark couldn't stop himself from listening to Megan's every word. He almost expected Megan to call him out about his deal with Abby. But Megan never alluded it. Abby didn't tell her, he thought.

He let out a relieved breath. Jubilee gave him a questioning look. He ignored it.

He knew this arrangement between him and Abby was a terrible idea. And what did he hope would come of it? That Abby would decide that she liked him? He almost laughed at himself.

Mark had wanted her to be near him. It was stupid, and selfish, and he was an asshole. Yet he couldn't find the strength to call it off.

It was ironic, he thought wryly, that he'd decided to pursue a woman at all when he'd vowed to keep to himself after his last relationship. His ex, Tina, had stomped on his heart without blinking.

Mark had fallen hard for Tina Gage when he'd first seen her in college. With her auburn hair and laughing eyes, she'd shone the brightest in every room she'd entered. He'd fallen hard and fast. When he'd asked her out and she'd said yes, he could hardly believe it. By the third month of dating, he'd known he was in love with her.

And then she'd cheated on him—with his best friend.

Mark forced the memory away, but the cake Megan had baked tasted like ash in his mouth. He could barely finish it.

After Tina, Mark had sworn off love. What was love except manipulation? A means to control someone? Tina had led him around by the nose, and he'd told himself never again.

An hour later, Mark said his goodbyes and headed out to his truck. To his surprise, Harrison followed him, calling his name.

"Hey, everything all right? You were quiet in there."

Mark grunted. "Am I ever chatty?"

Harrison grinned. He looked a lot like Mark, although he wasn't as broad-shouldered. Harrison was a pediatric oncologist who owned his own practice in Fair Haven.

"Good point." Harrison slapped him on the shoulder, his eyes filled with concern. "It's been good seeing more of you lately. Don't hide out at that ranch of yours too much, okay? Sara and I are always happy to have you over."

Mark almost told his brother about Abby. What would Harrison think about this scenario? He'd think he was crazy, for one.

Mark had always been the black sheep of the family. He loved his siblings, but he'd set himself apart from them since childhood. As an adult, he'd managed on his own without complaint.

"I'm fine. See you later." Mark got into his truck, trying not to notice the hurt on Harrison's face in his rearview window.