Into Her Book 1: Clyde Hernandez

03

03

The past two weeks of my stay here, it actually seems normal. I look like I really get along well with Gen, she really is good with the whole pretending thing in front of our parents that I can’t even find any faults to point it out. We have been acting like the best sisters in front of our parents but once they turn their back on us, she will just suddenly act like she is disgusted by it.

I don’t have any idea why Gen is acting like that. I get that she might have hated my presence because it has always been her and Azi for the past few years since the moment I was gone but I think it’s too much. The way she just acted like she hated my whole presence in this house that she would even prefer having this whole pretending going on. It’s almost like I am not her real blooded sister.

When I asked Manang Julia about my relationship with my family back then, she told me that I was pretty sweet towards them. I used to cling to dad most of the time because she describes me as a daddy’s girl which is why when the accident happens, it was the two of us who were together. She told me that dad actually lived the past few years of his life with regret and guilt because he feels responsible for my disappearance. I was grateful though because it didn’t lead to my parents separation because I would feel too bad for it.

She describes my relationship with mom as like that of mother and daughter goals. Since I am the eldest, mom would always pair things up with me and would always prioritize me. It’s not like she doesn’t give any attention to my siblings anymore but she just looks after me longer since I was born first. She said that mom and I really had a good relationship until I disappeared.

As for my siblings, when I disappeared, Azi was still not around but manang told me that mom was already pregnant for him during that time. So for the memory of the past, she told me about my relationship with Gen which I cannot help but compare with now. She told me that we were really close and that Gen usually sticks with me like a gum because she likes having me around.

From clothes, toys, shoes and schools, we all have the same things except in different colors. She even added that both of us are sweet and smart. Just looking at the amount of trophies and medals that are placed inside a room that is dedicated only for those things, I can already tell that Gen is really smart. I do placed 1st in my school ranking but looking at those awards made me feel little at some point. She has been going to a great international school since she started studying, the learning she probably got is different from mine.

A knock from the door interrupted me from my own thoughts. When it opened, mom slowly appeared all dressed up to go out. “Are you ready, Bella?” She softly asked me.

“Yes, mom. I’m done.” I answered politely and she nodded.

Today, she told me we are going to my new school. It will be a small tour in the school so I wouldn’t feel so out of place once the class starts in two weeks time. She told me that there are also things that needed my presence such as fitting the uniform as well as taking a picture for my ID.

I was actually supposed to go with Gen but turns out she is attending an academy every summer. She enrolled there to do some advanced learning and to learn other languages because she wanted to. When she mentioned a school paper when I first arrived, I actually thought that classes had already started but turns out it’s for her academy. I’m amazed with her dedication to her studies though.

For today, I dressed up in a racerback crop top and tucked it in wide leg pants with a pair of white sneakers. I will also bring a baguette bag with me to put all of my things even though I can only bring a few. I actually keep on hesitating whether I should really go to school wearing this kind of outfit because it doesn’t seem so appropriate but it was Gen who picked it out for me last night when she and mom were in my room helping me with matching clothes. Although I am not used to it, I think I have to wear this kind of outfit now.

It will only be me and mom who will be going to my new school today because dad is in the company while Azi is taking his swimming lessons. We are actually the only ones left in the house so we did have this small mother and daughter bonding the moment dad, Gen and Azi left the house. It just happens that we will also head out today.

“Are you excited, dear?” Mom asked me, keeping her eyes on the road. Today, she insisted on driving instead of letting the driver do so. She said that we will be having some bond as well so they want us to be alone.

“A little? But I’m nervous too.” I honestly answered, making her chuckle softly.

“That’s normal, Bella. It’s a new school, that is why, but I’m sure you will have fun in your new school as well as in your previous ones.” She turned the steering wheel to the right to make a turn. “I’m sure you will have your own friends too like Gen. The students in RIS are really kind and friendly, you know?”

“You graduated in RIS too, mom?” She nodded. My mouth forms an ‘o’ understanding why she insists that RIS is the best option for me to study. “No wonder you didn’t allow me to enter a different school.”

When they actually first told me that I will be moving here and transferring schools, I immediately recommended studying to a public high school because I study in a public high school. I think whenever I am in there, I really challenge myself because there are a lot of smart students around but mom immediately rejected the idea. She told me that I need to study where Gen and Azi is in, which is Rydell International School, an international school so it literally means the students are all rich.

“Studying in RIS is much better, Arabella. Their quality education is great and the facilities are all complete. I’m sure you will learn a lot with the extracurricular activities and taking lessons from highly qualified teachers.” She insisted that I couldn’t do anything but just agree as well already.

The moment we arrived, I already noticed how spacious the school was. The distance from the school gate and the main entrance to the first building is far and only diligent students will actually attempt to walk from the gate to the main entrance. It’s like having a car really is a requirement in this school.

“Welcome to your new school, Bella!” Mom exclaimed when we both hopped off the car.

I couldn’t help but be left in awe because of how big and different their facilities are. It’s like I am in an even modern world. There is this big track and field oval with some more buildings where their other facilities are in. I haven’t seen the whole school yet but I can already tell that they really do have everything that probably supports all sports they can get in. I could even see a single building where the lettering GYMNASIUM is written in it.

“Good day, Mrs. Santiago,” My attention went to the man, a little older than mom I think, greeted. He shakes hands with mom before his attention goes to mine. “You must be, Arabella Fay Santiago,” He sticks his hand out for me which I accepted. “Hi! I’m Mr. Jose Llamarez, the Principal of Rydell International School.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Llamarez.” I greeted back while he nodded.

“I have seen you previous school records, Ms. Santiago, and I am expecting that I will be seeing your name on the school top ranking in your batch.” Even though it simply gives me pressure, I just gave him a small smile before turning to my mother. “I’m sure Genevieve is nervous with a sudden competitor.”

Mom let out a soft and short chuckle. “I’m sure they both will do well anyway. Besides, it’s not Arabella here she will be against. Is it Mr. Hernandez? The one Genevieve has been competing with for the top rank consecutively.”

“Ah, yes! Mr. Hernandez! He is a good student as well as an athlete. As long as he doesn’t get himself in trouble that much then the three of them can compete then.” Mr. Llamarez answers.

The two of them kept on talking with me just following them behind. I was so busy looking around that I didn't even mind if they kept on talking because I really am fascinated with this school. I can’t believe that such a school actually exists! I thought they only exist on those reading platforms but I guess if you really are living with privileges, you will get to witness what is unimaginable for others.

Mr. Llamarez left when we reached a room that he called Galileo but all I could see were mannequins dressed in school uniforms. All of the uniforms and accessories are even showcased in the whole room. Besides the uniforms, there are shirts where the RIS logo and letterings are even hung and some varsity jackets in different designs. They really put effort in it.

“Bella,” I turned to mom when she called for my name. She signals me to come to her which I did without any hesitation. We stood in front of a glass cabinet where a mannequin was placed inside. “This will be your school uniform once class starts.”

I eyed the school uniform I will be wearing for this school year. Mom went to get my uniform after I told her my measurement while I was left standing in front of the glass cabinet. The blazer is colored navy blue with the RIS logo on the left chest. Underneath is white long sleeve blouse with a red cross tie placed around the collar. The skirt is in colored beige and is paired with a white socks, high or ankle is fine, and a pair of black shoes. A blazer means the rooms will be air conditioned.

After getting my school uniform, a total of four pairs of regular uniform and two P.E. uniforms as well as some shirts for wash day, we headed for a short school tour. We can’t go upstairs so decided on just looking around on the ground floor instead. We passed by the track and field, the baseball field, the pool building, tennis center, the pond where some students hang out and the building where Azi is taking his classes.

“This is the pavilion. They had some renovation for this area unlike during our time.” I look at the wide building and try to look around. “Gen told me that this is where the indoor basketball court, volleyball court as well as the fitness centers for the athletes are in.”

“They also have fitness centers?” I asked shocked which mom nodded with a short chuckle. “They really put everything in this school.”

“Well, just like I told you earlier, the school facilities are complete so it really is much better for you to continue your study here instead of somewhere else. At least here, I’m sure you will learn more.” She pointed.

With this kind of facilities and services they offered, I’m sure the tuition fee is not a joke as well. I even tried asking mom earlier how much my tuition is but she won’t tell me, probably because she knows I will feel guilty that they have to spend much for me. The least I can do now is get myself in trouble that will waste their money.

Noises were suddenly heard when the door from one of the courts opened, making me turn my attention in there. There are some guys who are dressed in sweaty sleeveless shirts and basketball shorts with a pair of shoes coming out one by one. I just watched them but mom called for me so I had to leave despite my curiosity about them. They must be really serious with sports and academics here.

After finishing with the agenda in school, mom and I headed to the mall which I hadn't visited yet back then. Even though I insisted on not buying anything for me, mom still ended up buying me more clothes and some shoes to wear as well as some bags to use. She even got me a new laptop after just buying me an expensive phone during my first week of stay here, both of them are even in the same brand. She also got me an iPad and the spending is making my head spin!

“Mom, don’t you think this is too much?” I carefully asked, eyeing the paper bags I have on hand. I have one paper bag for my clothes, one paper bag for the shoes and another for the bags while mom holds the paper bag where the gadgets are in. “I think we shopped too much already.”

“Bella, it’s okay! You were gone for years and this is still nothing compared to what we have provided to Gen and Azi. Besides,” She tucked my hair strand behind my ear before giving me a teasing smile. “You didn’t shop! It was me who mostly picked things for you and you just kept on agreeing, remember?”

A short laugh escapes my lips with that remark. Spending some time with a mother really is different from spending time with lola and tito. When I was with lola, we kept on talking about how her days were like back then, which was really old already, but I still learn a lot from her. While with tito, it’s mostly about some random and nonsense stuff that he keeps bringing up but things are different with mom.

There is some kind of comfort when your own mother understands your wants and needs as well as considering some of your thoughts. It’s like you can be an open book because she is another female companion to express your feelings, knowing you will get some more encouraging words in return.

If it actually wasn’t for mom, I would probably be stuck in my room and thinking about Ilocos. I would probably be more focused thinking about how is lola and tito are there. Are they doing well? Things are not hard for them, right? Those questions would probably bother me every chance they can get but mom helped me focus on where I am now and adapt slowly as much as possible. I’m really thankful for that.

Before heading home, we decided to stop by and sit in a coffee shop first to talk. We already talked back in Ilocos during her visit but it always gets cut off and it seems like those stories are still not enough for mom. The good thing about our talk though is that she knows how to make me comfortable to express myself and talk without much worry. That is the whole reason why I probably can talk to her freely.

“Your lola told me, you can’t remember anything from the accident?” She said carefully as I nodded my head. Yeah… we haven’t talked about this one.

“Lola told me that when tatay and her took me to the hospital to treat my wounds, when I woke up, I was a crying mess because I didn't know anyone. I don’t know where I am and whenever they ask me what my name is, I can’t provide them any answer because I don’t have a memory of who I am.” I explained.

“And that,” She eyed the necklace that was hanging on my neck. “That is how they identify you, right?”

I nodded my head in response. “My first name was written in it so I went with the name Arabella Joaquin instead.” I touched my necklace gently. “Dad says that this belongs to you, mom?”

“It was… and my name was originally written in that back then but I had it changed for you.” She grabs her coffee, sipping on it gracefully. A smile forms her lips as she eyes me. “I was contemplating first whether it was a good idea to have it changed back then because it was given by your grandma but looking at how things worked out now… I’m glad that I really had it changed.”

“Because if you didn’t, I wouldn’t be here.” I completed her words even though she tried to end it there already.

“Yes… you wouldn’t be here with us again if it weren’t for that necklace.”

It’s funny how a simple necklace plays a big role in my life with finding who I really am and my real family. It’s like evidence that I belong to my parents family after years of disappearance. Now I understand why tatay was so mad at me back then when I almost lost this necklace considering how badly he wanted me to meet my real parents. I understand it now.

“I also heard that… you are having headaches whenever you try to remember about the incident? You experienced one when you first met your dad.” She brought up which I ended up smiling a little. She looks at me worriedly. “Do you perhaps know the reason why?”

“I’m thinking that maybe it was because of the trauma, mom, but I’m not sure. My headaches would appear whenever something involving that incident back then triggers my mind. I can’t even have any heads up because I don’t know if something is involved with the accident.” I answered.

“If it continues, do you want me to take you for a check up? It’s better to have it checked so you can receive help right away, Bella.” I shake my head in return, rejecting the idea because I have been doing well by handling it anyway. I do faint sometimes but it’s bearable. “I’m just worried, Arabella.”

“I understand, mom. But really, I’m okay. I can handle it.” I said, making her sure.

But my words know how to turn their back on me.

On our way home, we almost hit a car when it cut in the line. Thankfully mom was quick to step into the brake or else there would be a car crash already. Just when I thought that things would end there, I just suddenly blacked out and found myself in a hospital room when I woke up after. I already know the moment I woke up in the hospital that it was because of my amnesia.

Due to that incident, mom and dad insisted on making me stay in the hospital for a couple of days to run some tests for me. They did so many tests for me until the result was out that my loss of consciousness was due to the accident, posttraumatic to be exact. I was right with my hunch though.

“Starting today, I want you to be more careful than ever, Bella. Is that understood?” Dad said when we arrived home.

“I will, dad. Don’t worry too much about this.” I said as he let out a sigh. I have no choice but to obey as well anyway especially if I don’t want to end up fainting again.

“Do you want me to tell your lola or you want to tell her yourself?” Mom questioned as my thought immediately went to lola and tito.

Dad told me that they know about my latest fainting again. From what I heard, they even almost got on the bus to come back here and check on me but they managed to calm down when dad said I was being monitored already. They must be so worried since I also don’t have time to talk to them while I was in the hospital.

“I think I will call them myself, mom.” I softly said as she nodded.

With the help of Gen, who is generously actually helping me and looking worried even when it is just the two of us, I arrived in my room to get more rest for the meantime before our class next week starts. Just when classes were near, I had to experience this. I immediately called tito to inform them which he immediately answered right away.

“You don’t have to worry too much, tito. I’m doing fine! Dad already told you that I had a check up already, didn’t I?” I said, reassuring him.

[“I know, brat. We are just worried! When your father told us you fainted, mama almost fainted as well due to worry and shock.”] My eyes widened because of it.

“Lola!”

[“Don’t lola me, Bella! I already told you to be careful, didn’t I?”]

A sigh escapes my lips, knowing that lola won’t let it go too easily. “It was an incident, lola. Mom also suggested visiting a doctor beforehand for a check up but I just rejected it. Who would even think that I will still go for a check up but just in a different way.” I said, trying to joke.

[“You should have listened to your mother already! She knows what is best for you, so you should listen to her.”] Lola scolded, making me silent. [“I know that you are still adjusting there, Bella, but I told you to open up to them. You are their daughter and their suggestions are just to help you better.”]

“I can handle it anyway so checking up is not really something I should do. Everyone is just overreacting.” I tried convincing them.

[“Look, mama is right, brat! You are actually lucky now because you can get yourself checked without worries because your parents are capable of having you check now. And it’s not overreacting, they are just as worried as we are for you! Can you even remember how much kuya is always nervous whenever you faint?”] Tito scolded.

Those days are fun though… whenever I wake up from fainting, I would always find tatay in the same position dad was in when he first witnessed me fainted. Instead of blaming me for being careless, he would even blame himself because he didn’t look after me properly. It’s not even his fault why I fainted. I missed him.

“Yes… I can remember it clearly.”