The Escort

Chapter Twenty-one

THE NEXT DAY, I see that the other side of my bed is empty. Robert is already sat at the chair behind his desk, sipping a brewed coffee in his mug. A breakfast table is laid on the bed, a plate of omelette, bacon, waffles, rice, and hotdogs. It smells good. A cup of latte is also on the table.

            “This looks delicious,” I say to him and he smirks. I have never slept so peaceful since last night, and I guess playing with Robert, enjoying his time, has taken my mind off a lot of things. Work, Janet, John. Especially John.

            “Of course,” he grins, taking another sip of coffee. “My Swedish girlfriend is coming to my pad today so you better hurry finishing it or else she’ll think we slept with each other last night.” My cheeks burn red at his statement. I’ve never had any dirty thoughts towards Robert. In fact, I only see him as a friend. I wonder what his Swedish girlfriend looks like. I do know that she’ll be gorgeous.

            The breakfast Robert has made for me is humongous, and I don’t think I can finish it in one go. Miraculously, I’m able to finish all of the food he has cooked for me. After I finish eating his delicious breakfast, he brings the breakfast table with the empty contents to his kitchen to wash them. I follow behind him.

            “Thanks so much for last night and breakfast,” I say, gratefully. “You’re a great cook. I wonder what other talents you have up on your sleeve.”

            He chuckles, and I finally notice a dimple crevassing his cheek. It looks cute on him. “That’s all I have unfortunately.”

            “Any girl is really lucky to have you.” His smile widens and he wags his brows. I roll my eyes and sarcastically say, “We’re not going to get married like you said, Robert.”

            “Oh lighten up Matilda. I was only messing around,” he jests. He starts washing the plates and I lean my back on the kitchen counter awkwardly, as the silence looms over us. The sound of the water rushing out of the faucet fills the room like music.

            I break the silence with a reply. “I know. I wish we didn’t meet this way. But I don’t know if I’ll ever fall in love.”

            “You haven’t found the person who can still your beating heart,” he poetically says and I would have almost believed he is Michael Faudet, Lang Leav’s boyfriend with how he spins his words.

            “Is this even normal? To not even have feelings for anyone?” Robert places the washed plates inside the cabinet as well as the utensils after wiping each of them. He shrugs in reply.

            The sound of a buzz interrupts our maturing conversation. I trail behind Robert as he opens the door of his crib and the figure standing in front of us is a gorgeous supermodel. This must be Robert’s Swedish girlfriend. She stands the same height as Janet, if not a few inches taller than her. She wears a tight black pants that accentuates the shape of her legs and a white tube top, exposing her clavicles and her gorgeous shoulders. Her tan lines are prominent on her skin.

            She has green eyes like the colour of the leaves of the trees, and her hair bounces a few inches below her shoulders. Her curls look vibrant, and her lips are plump. She is one of the most beautiful human beings I’ve ever met. Robert has acquired an exquisite taste in women.

            “Astrid!” Robert exclaims and he opens his arms for a hug. Astrid, his Swedish girlfriend, accepts the invitation. Her boobs must be squishing on Robert’s hard chest. They look like a celebrity power couple.

            “Hey Robert,” Astrid giggles, an accent lilting her words. Her face lights up at the sight of him, and I guess Robert has captured her heart. Their exchange melts my heart.

            Astrid notices my presence and she shoots Robert a questioning glance. Robert smiles sheepishly and he places a hand at the small of my back, gently pushing me forward so that she can clearly see me. “This is Matilda, my fiancée on an arranged marriage,” he introduces, and I feel so small at Astrid’s sheer gaze towards me.

            She grins at the sight of me and she squeals, “Oh, you’re so cute!” She pinches my cheeks like I’m a kid. I glance at Robert, mirroring each other’s timid smiles.

            “I’m just really short,” I tell her but she ignores it.

            Astrid goes inside and she places her luggage. Robert takes her luggage to his master’s bedroom, leaving me and Astrid alone. I don’t know what to say to her, especially she knows I’m Robert’s soon-to-be-wife. I hope there is a way we can break the contract, especially Robert has found someone who is genuinely nice, and hella attractive.

            “Robert has told me so many things about you,” she gushes.

            I scratch the back of my head awkwardly. “What did he say?” I ask.

            “He says you’re funny when you’re not aware about the way you handle conversations,” she replies and my cheeks redden. Damn Robert. He is making me look like I’m a socially awkward nerd, which I may actually be.

            “Honestly, Robert says things that makes me reply some stuff that ends up being funny. Enough about me, though. Tell me about yourself.” We are seated in the living room on one of Robert’s comfortable sofas. I may doze off from the comfort his sofa provides.

            “I’m actually a digital artist,” she says with such proudness glinting in her eyes. I have pegged her as someone who is in the modelling and fashion industry, but her profession has tremendously surprised me.

            “I thought you are a model.” She shoots me an incredulous look. “I really thought you are! You’re tall and pretty.”

            “I did modelling gigs way back but I never found it fun. Being a model is so exhausting. There’s a lot of competition and it would be great if you have relatives or family who have strong connections with the industry,” she rambles. I have never thought of that. I wonder how Janet has felt throughout her modelling gigs. She seems happier now that she’s focused on her pregnancy. Modelling must have taken a toll on her.

            “I didn’t know that.”

            She shrugs her shoulders like it’s nothing. “People think modelling is easy. Modelling is easy if you have relatives who are extremely rich like the Jenners, or the Hadids. I think I can walk better than Kendall Jenner, but I won’t elaborate on that.” She laughs but it sounds fake.

            Maybe it’s the same for me. A job as a CEO of a multi-million-peso company has been handed to me in a silver platter, while my parents have laboured themselves from the ground up through sweat and blood. Still, I want to know what would’ve happened if I was given the choice to choose whatever I want to be. Will I become an actress? A singer? An engineer?

            “I’m so lucky I met Robert,” she sighs dreamily. “He is the perfect gentleman.” I agree with her on that. It’s so easy to talk to Robert, like he hasn’t been carrying his baggage from the past. What is his secret? Maybe it’s just a simple thing to do, like letting go.

            Robert emerges from the room casually, and joins in our conversation. “What are we talking about ladies?” He sits beside Astrid, and gives her a playful peck on the cheek which leaves her love-struck. The glitters in her eyes have reappeared when she sees Robert.

            Do I look at John like that? Does anybody notice the way I look at him?

            “We were just talking about you,” Astrid replies flirtatiously and she steals a kiss on his lips which equally catches him off guard. I notice Robert does not equally hold the same expression Astrid has. Is he still figuring out his feelings for her? He did mention last night that he was still figuring out what she is to him.

            “Are you talking about how great I am?” he wags his brows. His arm is around Astrid’s waist, like he has claimed her as his. They look perfect for each other which makes my heart sinks.

            “Yes babe. I was just telling Matilda how you are a perfect gentleman,” she coos. She earns another kiss from him, but this time, it is more passionate.

            I feign disgusted sounds. “Okay lovebirds, I’m out of here. I think I need an eyewash to purify myself from your public displays of affection.” I stand up and Robert immediately shoots up from his seat as well, and leads me to the door.

            “Thanks so much for last night,” I tell him in a low voice, only for him to hear. Robert puts his hands inside the pockets of his trousers, his eyes staring at the ground. “Do you want to tell me what’s going on your mind?”

            “Nothing important.” I open the door and he closes it, after he sees me disappear from his line of sight. I realise that he has actually driven me to his place, forgetting I haven’t brought my car in the first place. I bolt back to his place, buzzing the doorbell.

            Astrid opens the door. “I actually forgot Robert picked me up from my place yesterday,” I state timidly. She frowns but she calls for Robert’s name. Does she think I’m a competition to Robert’s love? It’s not like there’s something going on between Robert and I. I do hope she knows that because I would love her to become an addition to my friend list.

            Robert stands at the threshold of his door, a questioning look on his features. “I forgot I didn’t bring my car coming here. Can you drive me back to my house?” He nods, and grabs his car keys. I hear him call Astrid to come along with him, and that gives me a relief, because I don’t want her to have any funny ideas about Robert and I.

            When we get in the car, Astrid sits in the shotgun, while I sit at the backseat. The whole atmosphere is awfully quiet, and not the kind of silence Robert and I have when we have nothing else to say. But the air right now is filled with a lot of unspoken words.

            The whole drive to my house is quiet. Robert plays some soft jazz music that I bop my head to occasionally, whilst Astrid just stares at the building lining on the street, her eyes filling with wonder. Robert must be in another dimension, his eyes intermittently meeting mine at the mirror.

            When we arrive, I bid the couple goodbye, releasing a sigh of relief that the car ride is over. It’s the same feeling I get when I was a kid and ma and pa were in the front seat, having a silent argument over something I have no idea of. It’s the same with Astrid and Robert, except I’m involved in some way without even meaning to.

            Janet greets me with a suspicious look on her face. I wave her off. “For your information, Robert and I didn’t have sex.” She still looks unconvinced because she sends me devilish grins. It’s up to her if she believes it or not.

            “Matilda becoming a grown woman,” she teases, faking tears. “I’m so proud of you big sis.”

            “Oh, come on Jan. I’m not a virgin anymore even if Robert and I actually slept with each other,” I scoff. When I realise what I’ve just confessed, my eyes widen and Janet squeals in delight, like she is reading a good romance novel, except she’s happy with my s*x life… that is still non-existent.

            “Did you actually have s*x with John? When? Where? How did it happen?! Give me all the details!” she exclaims, jumping up and down like a child.

            “No! I didn’t have s*x with him!” I reply a little too strong, my voice stern but it does not faze her. She scampers behind me like a kid who is excited to open her Christmas present wrapped underneath the Christmas tree.

            “Who did you do it with? This is actually surprising!”

            “I’m not as uptight as you think I am,” I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes at her. She follows me into my bedroom and follows my actions when I submerge myself on the bed. We lie beside each other, staring at the ceiling.

            “Oh I know that, but I never thought you’d lose your virginity too soon,” she answers. She massages her belly, her baby bump a bit bigger than the past week. She is happier lately, and it’s probably the pregnancy hormones kicking off, or she’s in a better environment. Whichever the reason is, I’m glad she’s taking care of herself. I’m glad that William is out of her life, to keep herself from getting stressed over that cheating man-w***e. “So how did it happen?” she asks again.

            It is inevitable to avoid the question anyway, so I reply, “I met this guy at the club when we went clubbing and I went to the club alone again just to meet him again. I told him I want to have s*x with him. Turns out, he already has a girlfriend, and his girlfriend is actually Marie. You know her right?”

            She gasps. “Marie? As in your best friend Marie?”

            “Marie is just a really close friend. I don’t know if I can call her my best friend. Anyway, she said they are in an open relationship that’s why her boyfriend, Francisco, has slept with me. I thought she was going to be angry, and end our friendship, but it somehow strengthened? And Francisco has really been open and communicative to her so I guess that’s why she isn’t insecure when he meets other people.”

            “But still, I wonder what Marie truly feels about it. What if she’s just being forced to do it? Though it would be irrational. If Marie didn’t want him to do it in the first place, she wouldn’t be friends with you anymore.”

            “My first time was really great though. He was very respectful and it was best orgasm I ever had.”

            “OMG, this is your first time though so it is understandable,” she coos. We go silent for a few minutes. Janet says, breaking the silence, “I wonder how mom and dad would react if they know I’m pregnant.” Worry fills her features, her hands lying on her belly.

            “Are you scared if they know?” I lay a hand on her belly which is warm. I can feel a light heartbeat using my palm, and my heart melts. I’m going to be an aunt, and I’m quite excited on what the baby looks like. I hope the baby gets Janet’s features and none of that rat of an ex of hers. He deserves nothing but backlash.

            “Yeah,” she answers, her voice small. Her fright is palpable in her words but she clears her throat, her voice firmer than before. “I know they will be disappointed in me. I know they will probably disown me once they catch news of my pregnancy. They’re both conservative people, we know that. They’ve been so hard on the both of us.”

            “Have ma and pa been hard on you?” This is the first time I hear from Janet how she has a difficult experience with them. She is quite of an actress when it comes to masking her emotions. Even though ma and pa are being hard on me and not that much on Janet, I cannot invalidate her experience on how they have raised her. Our parents have given us nothing but heartbreak and childhood trauma.

            “Sometimes I can see them very disappointed in me when I don’t do well in school like you. They have always compared me to you, because you’ve been doing a great job in school. You’ve been consistently the top student in class while I’m barely passing my subjects. Mom had slapped me once when I failed math. What can I say? It’s not my strong suit.” Her voice is laced with vulnerability that I have never heard from her before. She has always projected herself as bubbly and nothing can break that bubbly aura, not even ma and pa. But I guess she is not immune to their harshness.

            “I’m sorry Janet, for being treated like that.” I massage her hair gently. Tears spill softly on her skin. She cries quietly, her mouth pursing into a thin line.

            “I know I’ve never experienced the kind of treatment mom and dad did to you. I think I sound like I complain too much, and I’m weak because I can’t be as strong as you,” she says in-between her soft sobs.

            “Oh Jan, you’re strong. Don’t ever think that you’re weak. Pain is not a competition; you know that right?”

            She nods but she is still weeping silently, and she sometimes inhales because she can’t breathe from crying too much. My eyes look at the ceiling, wishing that ma and pa have not raised us the way they think it’s best for us. We’re too scarred from the pain they’ve inflicted upon us. How can the both of us move on from that? Although I get jealous that Janet has a more relaxed treatment than I do, it still does not discount the fact that they have hurt her.

            A tear silently falls on my face. I don’t think I can ever forgive them, for hurting us since we were little, for breaking us over and over again, thinking it is the best way to toughen up a child. It only ends up with us getting overprotective with ourselves, without trying to heal the pain they have caused us. How can ma and pa dare hurt us when they’re supposed to love and care for us?

            I notice Janet wraps her arms around me, because I’ve been sobbing loudly like a dying whale. I have not noticed that I’ve been crying out loud. The pain is hurting me, the pain that I’ve been repressing for such a long time.

            “Let it out,” she says and I do let it all out. I’m not scared of showing my vulnerable side with Janet, even though I’m a little frightened that she sees my weaknesses.

            I wonder when this will all get better. When will I be free from the shackles ma and pa have bounded me to?