Adrenaline Junkie
1572 Words
Corrin’s POV
I’m still not entirely sure why I volunteered to risk my life for Sophie and Marleigh Gibbous.
Granted, Sophie warmed up to me, just as she did with Red. She was kinder to me than she ever was to Rowan. Really, the Gibbouses in general were kind to me. But I owe them nothing. Why should I be the one to lead this mission?
Mainly, it’s Red I’m doing it for. She’s my best friend, the most important person in the world to me, and now my queen, too, and she wants the Gibbouses saved.
I think there’s another reason, though. I think I’m getting addicted to this s**t.
Adrenaline junkie, I think it's called. I seem to recall that from one of the Hollywood films of old. Is that what I am? Do I get off on risking my life? Or is it the reward that does it for me?
I’m not exactly sure, but I am sure of one thing: it seems to turn Westley on even more than before.
“I still can’t believe you did that,” he says to me one night by the fire—the third of six nights before everyone but us departs for Meridian and we depart for Canis. “Volunteered for a suicide mission.”
“I still can’t believe you did.” I mean it—especially now that I know he thinks it’s a suicide mission. “Why did you?”
He snorts. “You already know the answer to that, lassie.”
He’s certainly bold; I’ll give him that. “But I told you we couldn’t be together. So why make it harder on yourself?”
“Well, to change your mind, of course. And to keep you alive, if at all possible. To die beside you, if not.”
I shake my head, granting him a half-laugh. “You barely know me.”
“True. That, too—to get to know you better.”
He really is too much. I turn to face him, curling my legs up to my chest. “You understand why you’re feeling this way, right? That it’s just the way you’re wired to feel—the whole true mates bogus? That you could train yourself to feel differently, eventually?”
“Train myself to feel differently?” he repeats. “Why would I do a thing like that? It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever felt.”
The strangest thing about this guy is, as bold and flirtatious as he is, he also seems so… honest. So genuine. It’d sound like a line coming from anyone else, but it doesn’t from him.
“How many women have you been with?” I ask him suddenly.
His eyes widen. “Pardon?”
“How many women have you been with?” I repeat. “She-wolves. Vampires. Whoever Rogues choose to—”
“Vampires?” he repeats, cackling. “I’m a Rogue, not a dog, lassie.”
I cross my arms. “Tell me.”
He crosses his own. “I’d rather not.”
A lot, then. “Fine. It’s just as well. It’s time for me to turn in, anyway.”
He looks pained, but he doesn’t seem to know what to say. I rise to my feet and start to make for my tent, but he catches me by the arm, surprising me.
The feeling of his hand on my arm reminds me of the feeling of his lips on mine, and suddenly it feels very hard to be in his presence.
“Why?” he asks me.
“Why, what?”
“Why do you want to know?”
He has me there. Even I’m not sure why I asked. I suppose I was trying to find a way to buy that I’m special to him when he’s probably been with a thousand other women.
“Forget it,” I tell him, and I duck back into my tent.
- - - - -
On the fifth day, my parents ask me to join them for a walk.
I love my parents, but they haven’t asked me to go on a walk since I was about six years old. So, naturally, I’m terrified.
“The Rogue,” my father says, and instantly my heart sinks. “The one the queen has taken under her wing. He’s the same one who attacked her and Rowan in the Umbra Badlands, is he not?”
I suppose his question could be worse. “Yes, but he was just following orders. He was a close friend and companion to Elianna, and if he’d known—”
“A close friend?” my mother interrupts skeptically. “I was a close friend of Elianna’s, and I have no memory of this Rogue.”
I should shut up, but I don’t. “Kat remembers him. He worked for Ramsay Eaton back then, but he developed a friendship with Elianna, working as her armed guard whenever she traveled north.”
“Worked for Ramsay Eaton,” my father repeats, shaking his head. “Her Majesty needs to be careful with that one. Even if his loyalties are true, what are the people to think of her keeping such a creature so close to her?”
I’m not sure what to say to that, but this certainly doesn’t bode well for any chance of Westley and I ever being together—not that there was much hope of that to begin with.
“He was certainly quick to volunteer to join you on your mission,” my mother tells me carefully. “He’s grown fond of you, I take it?”
I shrug a shoulder as indifferently as I can manage. “I broke him out of his prison cell at Castle Gibbous. He must think he’s indebted to me, I guess.”
My father doesn’t look particularly concerned, but my mother does. She always was the more intuitive one. “He’s a handsome boy, Corrin,” she says. “But a dangerous one.”
“We’re all on the same side,” I grumble. “And I don’t know what his looks have to do with anything.”
Unfortunately, at this point, even my father picks up on the implications of our conversation. “Corrin, have you… has your wolf…?”
“No!” I blurt out a little too quickly. “No, she hasn’t… noticed anyone. Now, can we change the subject already?”
- - - - -
The night before everyone’s departure, Westley and I find ourselves back at the fire again.
This time, though, Red and Rowan join us, too.
“Are you sure about this, Cor?” Red asks me as she reaches out to take my hand. “You don’t have to do this. We could find another way, or—”
“I do have to do this,” I interrupt. I’m not sure why, exactly, I’m so dead-set on being the one to lead this mission. Maybe it’s because I know no one else will. “And yes, I’m sure.”
“Don’t worry, Red,” Westley says cheerfully. “I’ll protect her.”
“Your Majesty,” Rowan corrects immediately. Red, of course, gives him a sharp kick to knock it off.
“No disrespect intended,” Westley tells her. “I’m not exactly well-versed in the proper courtesies and titles. I’m happy, though. Happy that you’re queen now. I think it’s a good thing for the world.”
Again, he suddenly sounds so genuine and well-intentioned that it actually takes my breath away. How could a foul-mouthed, philandering miscreant like him turn a switch and suddenly sound so… sincere?
And the things he’s saying—they’re the same things I feel, with every inch of my heart.
“Thank you, Westley,” Red says diplomatically. “And thank you for volunteering to go with Corrin and protect her.” Her next words, I hear in my head. They’re shared only with me, and no other. He’s a good one, Cor. Why are you fighting it?
He’s a Rogue. A thief. A murderer. You should have seen my parents interrogating me about him today, Red. They’d be devastated.
Rowan and Westley are both looking at us at this point. They can tell we’re linking.
Didn’t you learn anything from my mistakes? Red urges. You can’t fight true love.
What about Sophie and Sawyer? Are they not true mates?
She sighs. You have me there. But Westley isn’t Sawyer. And I think you should give him a chance.
- Writer
