Loving Him

CHAPTER 4

Chapter 4

It was just a whole day, but it feels like a year. Konti nalang mababaliw na 'ko. Hindi ako sanay na ganito, I am used to a life where I am really free. But in a blink, I am here, like a prison; being forced to spread her legs whenever he wants.

Nakapagluto na rin ako kaya wala nang gagawin. It makes me miss my parents even more. Gusto ko manlang sana silang makausap pero sira na nga ang cellphone ko. May telephone dito pero office number lang naman ni Nick pwede 'yon.

It is late afternoon, I somewhat wants to comfort myself. I feel so down and I do not want my anxiety taking over. And I have to work on it.

I sighed and went on front of the phone. I should at least try. Hindi naman ako tatakas. Gusto ko lang talagang lumabas.

I hissed and called him. I was hesitant and my fear got worse when someone picked the phone.

["Mendoza Group of Companies."]

"Good evening. Can I talk to Nick Mendoza?"

["Who's on the line? Do you have an appointment with him ma'am?"]

"I'm Anne Mendoza. His-"

["Oh ma'am I'm very sorry. Yes ma'am. Right away."]

"Thank you."

Seconds lang ang lumipas at narinig ko na ang boses ni Nick that made my heart beat faster.

["What?"]

"Nick, gusto ko sanang lumabas kahit sandali lang. Bagot na bagot na kasi ako, I- my anxiety."

He knows about my anxiety; he hated it when I get attacked. But right now I am starting to feel that he will be one to make me feel anxious.

["Fine. But you know what will happen if I won't like your actions… do you?"]

"I know." I said with my low voice.

["Be sure to be home before I arrive."] He put off the call so I immediately fixed myself. 

…

"Don't move or shout unless I tell you so."

I dropped my spoon in fear when I felt something poking my left arm.

"What do you want? I don't have money. Believe me." I nervously said.

Gosh! May hold-up na rin palang nagaganap sa restaurant.

"Just your love Zari."

Agad akong humarap sa kanya at hinampas sa braso. "Damn you Tris!" I frowned even more when he started laughing like he did not scare the hell out of me.

He's the child of the owner of the bank where I worked before. Madaldal siya, baliw at palatawa kaya kasundo niya lahat ng employee nila.

Yes I worked for someone else before. Because I do not want to be pampered that much so I wanted to make a name and money my own. Right now I just wanted to eat steak here in my favourite restaurant peacefully but he appeared from nowhere, scaring me.

He sat across me and grinned. "So fat Zari."

I rolled my eyes. "Excuse me Mr Tristan McNeil! Shame on you! I'm sexy."

"Yeah you are. Let me taste."

Agad niyang inagaw yung plate at inilapit sa harap niya. Kaya agad akong yumuko para abutin yung pagkain.

"That's mine! You're a billionaire but you love to eat my foods!"

"What the hell happened to your chest?" Seryoso niyang tanong na ikinalaki ng mata ko. “And hands.” He added while staring at hands.

Agad kong ini-zipper hanggang sa leeg ko ang jacket at umiwas ng tingin sa kanya.

"No-nothing Tris. I just scratched it. It's nothing- forget it."

"Yeah. Okay Zari, do you want other foods? Just tell me." He seriously said.

Hindi ako sanay sa paraan ng pagtitig niya at boses niya ngayon. I know he wants to help me in any way that he can, but I am not risking his life or name.

"No. I'm fine with this."

He just nodded so I continue to eat.

"Tristan, ano'ng oras na pala?" I asked.

He brought out his phone. "Six thirty. Why?"

Oh no.

"I have to go. Bye." I hurriedly, nervously, fearfully said and picked my things up.

Agad na 'kong tumakbo palabas at hindi ko na pinansin yung mga sinigaw niya.

Shit!

Hindi ko namalayan ang oras ko. And he told me to be home before he arrives.

I was panting when I reached his house. I nervously entered the gate. Meron na yung sasakyan niya so for sure meron na siya.

Ano'ng sasabihin ko?! What will happen to me?!

I walked into the house while praying silently. The hard and fast beatings of my heart including my shaking hands do not help at all.

"So, did you enjoy it with your w***e?"

"Nick, wala akong lalake. I just went to eat." I said, stuttering.

My tears want to fall but I am afraid that he might get angrier. I'm really scared of him and what will happen to me.

"f**k you!" He shouted and threw the glass he was holding to the floor.

I screamed in fear and stepped away from him with my tears streaming down.

He stood up so I ran in fear of him. But I winced in pain when he caught my hair and pulled me to him.

"Nick please. Makinig ka naman, pumunta lang ako sa restaurant malapit dito, kumain lang ako. Believe me!" I hysterically said while staring at him.

He closed all the doors through a remote and smirked at me. "Don't fool me b***h! So you think I don't know that you're with Tristan a while ago?! You f*****g used your anxiety to see your guy." He even made his face closer to mine. "Why Anne? You’re not satisfied with me? All I thought is, it's big and I'm better than him in bed."

"How dare you Nick?! Hindi ako katulad mo!"

I regretted shouting at him when he slapped me with my hair gripped by his hand. s**t, my vision just got blurred for seconds.

"Don't you shout at me!" He shouted.

"Nick tama na." I pleaded while crying. My shaking hands could not even move his hands on me.

"I'm gonna f**k you 'til you can no longer walk, you whore."

"Nick please!"

Bigla niya 'kong mahigpit na hinawakan sa braso at kinaladkad paitaas sa kwarto. I will get all my limbs injured by the end of the month, no doubt.

"Nick please!" I begged while the hot tears continue to roll down my face.

He laid me down and started to rip my clothes that shivers all over my body.

I slapped him accidentally and that is one of the mistakes I would really regret.

"Bullshit!" He snapped and I groaned when he slapped me.

Naalis niya lahat ng damit ko dahil hindi na ‘ko lumaban, sa takot ko nalang din na masaktan ulit.

He removed his clothes and entered me without any hint of care.

Napatagilid ako sa sakit pero agad din niya kong iniharap sa kanya at nagpatuloy. How can he be this heartless?

"Nick please… Nick." I said through my sobs.

In just minutes, his phone rang that made him curse.

He pulled himself out and gets his phone and answered the call.

"Hello… mom… opo… yeah yeah."

Agad naman akong nagkumot at tinalikuran siya habang tahimik na umiiyak.

I held my wrist that he had gripped while crying.

The call ended so I almost shiver in fear again. I screamed when he grabbed my hair.

"Listen up b***h. Gusto kang kausapin ni mommy. I think you know what to do."

Tumango nalang ako habang umiiyak saka niya isinampal yung phone niya sa 'kin.

The mom he was talking about is mommy Nathalie, his step-mom.

"Hello tita? I mean, Mom?" Inayos ko yung boses ko kahit hirap ako dahil hawak pa rin niya ang buhok ko.

Alam kong naririnig din ni Nick lahat ng sinasabi ng mommy niya sa kabilang linya kaya dapat maayos ang mga sagot ko.

["Hi hija! How are you? Parang iba boses mo?"] She asked.

"Ahm, hindi ma. Uh, may sipon lang po ako. Okay lang ako mom."

["Mabuti naman hija. I would like to tell you that we're having a reunion. I wanna see you there okay?"]

"Opo. Yes mom."

["Kamusta nga pala si Nick sa'yo? Does he takes good care of you?"]

Hindi ko napigilan yung hikbi ko dahil sa tanong niya. Kung pwede ko lang sabihin yung totoo.

["Anak are you okay there?"]

Mas hinigpitan ni Nick yung buhok ko kaya mas napaiyak ako.

"Oo naman po ma. Ano po bang klaseng tanong 'yon? Mahal na mahal po 'ko ni Nick. Inaalagaan niya 'ko ng sobra mom."

Sa bawat salita ko doble doble yung patak ng luha ko. Please do not buy those lies.

["Okay hija. Matulog na kayo. Good night darling."]

"Okay po. Salamat mom."

When mom ended the call, kinuha agad ni Nick yung phone at binitiwan na rin niya 'ko.

Nag-ayos uli ako ng higa at tinalikuran siya saka sinubukang matulog kahit ang totoo nanghihina ako sa takot.

Pero pagkapikit ko palang, naramdaman ko na yung kamay ni Nick sa dibdib ko. And he's not gentle at all.

"Who said that we're done? We are still starting bitch."

He made me face him and kissed me roughly as he uses my body again… and again… and again.

I just want this to end. I'm so tired.

…