Chapter 2-1
1957 Words
Chapter Two
Sara smiled as she watched James ride his bike outside. Looking at him, you’d never think he’d been sick, and she had a difficult time believing that he was sick again now. Her heart contracted at the thought.
Let it be nothing. Let us have a break for once.
“Can you get this?”
Sara turned to see her mother Ruth struggling with bags of groceries. At the age of sixty, Ruth Flannigan had gone to rehab for alcoholism, and after a year of sobriety, Sara wanted to believe that it would stick this time. With brightly dyed red hair and cat-eye glasses, Ruth always made an entrance, something that Sara loved as a child and hated as a teenager.
“How much did you buy?” Sara took two bags and set them on the nearby counter. She pulled out boxes of cereal—Lucky Charms, more Lucky Charms, Captain Crunch, Cinnamon Toast Crunch—and sighed. “I told you no sugary cereals. It just makes James antsy all day.”
“They were on sale! Besides, let the kid live a little. A bowl of marshmallows won’t kill him.”
Sara didn’t feel like arguing. Not today. After Ruth had gotten out of rehab, she’d called her oldest daughter to ask her to move back to Fair Haven. The alcohol had caused her mother a number of health problems, and unable to work but with no retirement, Ruth had been desperate. Sara hadn’t wanted to leave Seattle, but after her divorce, somehow it had felt right. She’d gotten her mom out of her trailer, moved all three of them into their own modest house, and Sara told herself she’d done the right thing.
Even if her mother didn’t listen to her about James’s diet.
“Mom, I know you mean well,” she said firmly, forcing her mother to look her in the eye, “but James’s health is precarious. I’m not going to let anything happen to him under my watch.”
Ruth looked like she was going to argue, but she just heaved a sigh, her brightly clad shoulders rising and falling. “Oh Sara, can’t you see that he’s totally healthy? The cancer’s gone. Let the kid get dirty and eat sugar. You and I both know how short life is.”
Sara turned to start unpacking groceries. Seeing that one bag was mostly fruits and vegetables, she forced herself to calm down. “I took James to see an oncologist yesterday,” she admitted.
Ruth dropped a container of sour cream, which rolled next to Sara’s ankle. “You did what? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to believe it wasn’t happening?” At her mother’s look, guilt swamped Sara. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. It’s probably nothing. The doctor himself said as much.”
“But it was enough that you thought you should take him in.”
Now it was Sara’s turn to look away. Although Ruth had been sober for a year, Sara still didn’t fully trust her. There were too many memories of her mother passed out drunk on the couch, or calling 911 when she’d drunk too much and wouldn’t wake up. There were too many stints in rehab that hadn’t stuck, and missed concerts, games, and PTA meetings. Sara had practically raised her younger sister Megan.
She’d gone to counseling. She knew she had to forgive her mother—eventually.
“I know you still don’t trust me,” Ruth said quietly, her eyes sad. “I know it’s not as simple as putting down the bottle and everything goes away. My sponsor has told me over and over again to give you time, but I wish you would’ve told me. You already did this once alone.”
Sara bit the inside of her cheek. She had done this alone before. For some reason, an image of Dr. Harrison Thornton entered her vision. His kind, handsome face, his reassuring touch. Had she gravitated toward him because he told her what she’d wanted to hear, or because of something more? Something she didn’t want to consider for herself?
“Mom! Mom! Travis found a huge grasshopper outside!” James came running into the kitchen, throwing open the freezer to pull out a Popsicle.
“James. It’s ten in the morning,” Sara remonstrated. But at Ruth’s raised eyebrow, she gave in. “Fine, one Popsicle. And be sure to take one out for Travis.”
“He likes purple. You should come see the grasshopper. It’s green,” James said, his eyes wide.
“Jamesy, come on, show your old grandma this huge green grasshopper. Maybe we can collect some roly-polies if we’re lucky.”
Sara’s heart swelled as she watched her mom with James and Travis, the next-door neighbor’s son who was also in James’s class at school. Travis had a tendency to get muddy even if the day was dry—Sara didn’t know how he managed it—and he had a perpetual cowlick, but he was a good kid. She’d much rather have to clean mud off her son than take him into the hospital for radiation. And although she’d been uncertain of Ruth’s involvement in her James’s life, Sara had been pleased to see her mother falling into the role naturally. If Sara felt angry that she herself hadn’t gotten that side of her mother when she’d been a child, well, she’d swallow that and try to move past it.
Finishing unpacking the groceries, Sara heard her phone ring. When she saw the number, she almost didn’t pick up. Her stomach cramped, and she could feel a headache coming on.
Kyle Daniels, the caller ID read.
She really should’ve changed that to Asshole Ex-Husband.
“Hello?” she answered in the calmest voice she could muster.
“Sara? I thought you weren’t going to pick up.” Kyle laughed, which just grated on her nerves.
She and Kyle had married young, mostly because Sara had gotten pregnant and she had nowhere else to go—no money, no job, and a baby on the way. She’d wanted to believe she and Kyle could make a life for themselves, especially after James had been born, but their already flimsy marriage quickly started to fall apart when they’d added a newborn to the mix.
“How’s Fair Haven? Or are you already wanting to move back to civilization?”
She made a face at the fruit bowl sitting on the table. “Did you need something, Kyle?”
“Touchy. You know I’m just kidding around. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about James.”
At the mention of their son, she instantly was on her guard. Kyle had had little interest in James since his birth, and even less when he’d been sick. But after the divorce, suddenly that had all changed. Sara knew it was only to get back at her for daring to leave him.
“Look, I know you said I’d still be able to see him, but I just don’t see how that’s going to work with you living two hours away. I’ve consulted with my lawyer, and he agrees that you’re violating our custody agreement with your move.”
Sara stared at the fruit bowl until the vision of the bananas and apples rippled in her vision. “In case you don’t remember, I have full custody of James,” she said in a slow voice, anger building inside of her chest. “So I can take him to Australia if I want to.”
“And whose idea was it to give you full custody? Me. Because I thought it would be best for him to live with his mother.” Kyle always said the word mother like you’d say the word centipede. “But that doesn’t mean you can keep him from me. I’m not going to be kept out of his life.”
At that, she lost her temper. “When have you ever been in his life? You weren’t there when we were living under the same roof! You didn’t see him more than five times all of last year, and you lived twenty minutes away. If you really want to see him, then drive up here and see him.”
Kyle, though, didn’t take the bait. Sara always knew she shouldn’t get angry, because he used that against her. “Now you’re getting emotional, and you know I can’t talk to you when you get like that,” he said in that grating voice of his. “I’ll have my lawyer contact yours to discuss this in a rational manner.”
“You do that. Have a great day.”
She hung up, letting out a loud screech of frustration. It was so loud that Ruth popped her head inside to make sure nothing was wrong.
“Just Kyle,” Sara said.
Ruth nodded in understanding. “Oh, I should’ve known. I’ll leave you alone.”
Sara stood at the kitchen window as she watched Ruth help James and Travis find bugs in the grass. Drinking that in, she forced herself to calm down, but the anger wouldn’t abate. She never thought she’d hate someone as much as she hated her ex-husband. When they’d been younger, she’d been impressed with his wealth and social standing, having always believed she wasn’t worthy of anyone like that. She’d been so young and stupid. When she’d discovered she was pregnant, she had told him with a mixture of joy and hope. They could be a family—a family she’d never had growing up.
It was only until later that Sara realized that Kyle had only married her when his parents had discovered the pregnancy. He hadn’t planned on marrying her at all.
She let out a breath. Although she had full custody, Kyle had enough money and connections to make her life hell if he wanted to. She’d stupidly assumed that he’d be happy when she asked for a divorce. He’d been cheating on her for years, and the only reason she’d stayed was because she’d had to care for James during his cancer treatment and had needed someone to support her. It wasn’t a romantic arrangement, but she’d thought they’d both understood that. After James had gone into remission, she’d gone to a community college to earn her teacher’s license, knowing that she wouldn’t be able to leave Kyle if she were working a minimum wage job.
Cue Kyle refusing to give her a divorce for over a year once she’d earned her diploma and license. When he’d finally relented, Sara had hoped that would be the last of his capricious whims.
She’d been naïve, as always.
“Mom! Mom! Come outside and see this bug!” James ran into the kitchen and tugged on her arm. “Grandma says it’s a bee but I think she’s wrong.”
Sara let herself be dragged outside, where she was promptly shown the giant bug (not a bee, but a hornet, which caused a few screams). She helped James collect roly-polies from off the driveway. Travis went home to get his butterfly net, although Sara hadn’t seen any butterflies around lately. Realizing the lack of suitable butterfly prey, Travis turned his attention to capturing slow-moving ladybugs in his giant net.
“Were you talking to Dad?” James asked her. She’d gotten out the sidewalk chalk, and James drew a giant peach-colored circle next to her.
“Yeah, I was. How did you know?”
He began filling in the circle. “Because you always make that face after you talk to him. Like you’ve just seen a big bug in the kitchen.”
She laughed, but it was a little sad. “Do I? Then I’ll try not to do that anymore.”
“Do you think Dad likes me?” He looked up at her.
Her heart fractured at the question. She tried very hard not to make that big-bug-in-the-kitchen face, but she probably failed. Screw Kyle and his huge ego.
“Of course he does,” she soothed. “He’s just busy, and now we don’t live as close, so it’s harder for him to see us.”
“Then why doesn’t he come here?”
Because we could live right next-door and he wouldn’t care.
“He has a job, honey. You know that.”
James began drawing green lines around the peach circle, his mouth creased in a frown.
If I could wish the worst things on anyone, it would be on my ex-husband.
- Writer
