A long, long time ago, in a time of unknown power, darkness stretched as far as the eye could see. It’s said that it knows no passion of wills, growing ever larger, smothering every life-baring soul until it’s nothing but a wisp of its true self.
From the darkness which knew no light, a star was born. Unheard of, but true, her brilliant light pulsed like a heartbeat through the eternal night. Searching. Waiting... Breathing new life with a spectrum of color that burns as brightly as she does, her protective nebula grows around her. Whispers of this new life band in ribbons around her before they explode in bright bold colors ranging from raging reds to cooling blues stretching as far as her core could reach.
In the beginning of time, the star's only purpose was to reach out and heal what’s been broken. From the time of her creation she knew this. She’d never be as bright as the morning star or able to colonize with new stars, or even to stretch out as far as they could reach. There was no chance for her to be within the bands of them further towards the life giving one.
Not out where she was… because she is light years away from everything... everything that is, except for the darkness.
A star, as she knows it, is energy and with patience, a conscious mind. Thoughtful. Wondering. New.
In time she begins to explore past these concepts, developing her mind past seeing which furthers her knowledge but this only brings on more of a spark, more of an energy that needs to understand past what she’s learned. Days and nights in space are anything but. In the endless darkness just outside of her glow, she knows only time.
And so she waits.
And waits…
And waits…
Until something new arrives.
It’s not exactly new. Gasses had been moving through the endless night, undetected by light until a spark, similar to her’s started lighting up around her. Just as these specs were new to her, something else was bubbling up inside her…
Emotions.
The first of which had been excitement which bubbled around in her core before releasing something just as unexpected, fear. It made her doubt herself, her own existence, the more these little soft lit stars came about.
It’s then when she realizes the stars sitting around a greater ball of light, none of which have the slightest idea that there’s more of them now. For a long while she watches them and they make no movements to grow as she has. No changes whatsoever, really. While she observes them, she notices that they’re all huddled together as if they’re relying on each other for their change but they aren’t growing at all. As she observes them, time, so much time passes. There are no fields of color like she knows they can do, which makes her wonder what the point was in all of this. Why were they created if they weren’t going to change?
Even as they are little balls of light in a sea of themselves wrapped around this larger star, she gets the feeling now that while her expanse is great, she could never undo the limitless darkness. Not here nor beyond them. It’s frustrating.
The more she lives on, the more her hypothetical thoughts begin to take shape. There’s so much more she wants to understand, all of which lands on the representation of the endless sea of darkness, and why light was ever created.
Was it fear that stretched out across the expanse of the universe? It could have been. Fear made her feel uncertain as this seemed to, even in its constant state around her. The idea of being born into fear or as the product of it was hard to accept, and with it came a new need, one of determination. She would need to find out what this fear came from so that she could eradicate it from this space.
Deep down she knew it was time to move. There was no other way to go about it. Sitting there with her essence that had grown around her in an effort to remove the uncertainty had begun flowing inward, charging her to begin her leap. Over this time alone she’d learned to listen to her core, the center of her being that strongly believed in herself or her ideas, that space in her is what guided her in what direction to go now… and off she went.
At first she moved slowly, finding it took far more effort to move herself from where she was, as if she was anchored there but with practice her speed increased, hurtling herself faster and faster through space. The more momentum she got from her constant propulsion burned but made her take off brilliantly through the universe. It was in a word, freeing.
As she passed fellow stars she noticed how at ease they were with their existence, how unphased they were as stagnant placeholders in the endless darkness. Within her consciousness she reflected on how it must be to be them, to not have a mission or drive. She thought about what she would be like, if she ever went through that, or if she’d ever want to. Each cycle through the possibilities always had her coming back to center and always reminding herself that what she was doing was right for her. Their lives, if they were truly living, as she couldn’t tell from her speed, we theirs to decide what was right for, but standing around and doing nothing seemed like a waste of a life, and so she carried on.
Movement is beautiful, she thinks. It’s lovely in a way that makes her streak across the darkness. The faster she goes the more her light follows in a brilliant glowing blue tail. She wonders just how long it might be and if anyone can see her… or if anyone was quite as alive as her to care. The thought is there and gone in seconds as she remembers herself and praises the beauty there within her.
Passing stars, even the larger ones that looked as though they didn’t exactly belong among what was there was both a good, accomplishing moment and odd at the same time too. She could process the near success and conquer it as she went but after each string of stars were passed there was a small tinge of concern still about celebrating her successes based on passing the others. Perhaps she was becoming too mindful, too aware of herself. The thought is unnerving and she wants to quiet it, but as she passes yet another in search of the pit of the darkness she can’t help but feel excited all over again.
Throughout her journey, she’d followed her core, her learned ability to sense movement around her, the very essence opposite her own. The darkness is unnerving. While it is everywhere, there’s a center, an endless pit that draws her nearer. It makes her hone in and focus on only that finally bringing her in on a new dwindling system. It’s frail to say the least but she hopes for the best weaving around the vacant land masses until she comes across one with practically no color.
It looks dead from above, honestly, and she wonders if the darkness is responsible for this too.
Her journey, as important as it’s been, has her running ragged, her energy depleted, as she moves to land on this broken planet. Dropping down through the atmosphere makes the very fact of it known to her. The sight of how much of her matter she’s lost is a little terrifying, but not as much as finding the darkness in this form. Being as small as she was is threatening to her survival, she thinks. What if she just traveled across the universe for her own demise?
Flying feels different now. A new pull is straining her ability to move forward. It’s debilitating at this size. The more she tries the harder she falls.
Down…
Down…
Down… until she’s a little larger than the size of a spark, not her spark at least. Hers was sizable, she thought, and bold, but not now. Now she floated around like nearly nothing.
A new thought crosses her being, one that challenges the life she’s known up until this point. It’s one without answers, only new possibilities. She’s got no other options, aside from the one where darkness claims her, and that simply will not do. And so it’s time, she tells herself. It’s time to find a new form, one that can protect her in this barren wasteland of a world. But what in the world could that mean?
The world, this place, the one she floats around on is most certainly dead. There’s not really any other way she can describe it with her knowledge though, it’s more than she’s seen in millions of light years. And so, ever so cautiously, she moves to hover close to the ground.
Her form begins to tighten around the small ball she’s become accustomed to rather than flaring out and around her. Something about this new place gave her enough unease to do so and it wasn’t just her vulnerability nor the darkness that surely loomed. It was certainly something to do with the unnatural death and decay. It simply didn’t feel right.
The more she pulled herself inward, her energy took a newer form. It was certainly new and strange, but the hardening sphere that encapsulated there was welcome. It felt like protection. It felt secure… all these new feelings began swarming around her, promising better times were coming because it was there with her was amazing. Nearly as amazing as the thought that someone else could be on this journey with her.
As her protective layer crystallizes, it provides a thicker gnarly brown layer that holds even the crystalline shell together as she’s continuously hurtled to the ground.