Wildfire Smokejumper Trilogy

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Laura wanted to abandon the plan dozens of times over the next few weeks.

At first she didn’t because she couldn’t think of a better one. Also, she didn’t like the image of herself as a desperate woman. So, she maintained her vigil as: welcoming lover, morning run companion, and someone who simply liked Johnny without judgment. She laughed at Johnny’s jokes—at least the funny ones, shared his silences, and did her best not to buy into his own personal turmoil.

She had expected to go through her own cycle of fear, uncertainty, and doubt, but it didn’t come up for her. The more she was around Johnny, the more herself she became. Tim had been right, she wasn’t the catch-and-release type; she was the constant-and-steady type. Once Johnny had proven to her that she was worthy of his on-going attentions, she—ridiculous as it sounded—become worthy of them. At least she hoped so.

If she thought too hard about it all, it stopped making sense. But if she unfocused her brain as if she were in that dreamy state that occurred deep into a long, lazy trail ride, all of the pieces slid together for her. She loved Johnny, pretty desperately. He loved her, but he was having a hard time accepting that.

Jeannie’s plan was right. Just keep loving him and work at being her truest self. Then, hopefully, if they were indeed meant for each other, he’d arrive at that same conclusion.

It hurt her to watch his struggles, but she couldn’t think of how to step in and ease them without getting too invasive. And whatever was going on, he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. When she pushed, he merely looked sad and worried; she didn’t want to do that to him.

There were times she had to close her own pain off until he went to another fire, or even back to MHA for the day. She didn’t let it show, or didn’t think that she did. But once he was gone, she’d sometimes curl up around his pillow and cry for his anguish.

Even though Johnny might be going quietly nuts, he kept coming back to her arms. He wanted to be with her no matter how he fought against it. And for now that’s what counted.

When he had a free day he’d join her up at the Lodge, equally content to be hiking the hills or watching the birds. He proved himself as able to learn horsemanship as to learn walking on crampons.

There was one holdout though. No matter what bribe he offered, Mister Ed still had little use for him. At first she’d felt bad for Johnny and tried to bridge whatever the gap might be. But then she began to be amused by his growing perplexity. It obviously rankled deeply that he couldn’t win over the horse.

“Maybe he thinks you smell like a forest fire and that scares him,” Laura had tried easing another awkward rejection. Awkward on Johnny’s part; she had to fight to not laugh as he leaned on the corral fence at the Lodge and glared at the horse.

“No. This is guy stuff. He thinks I’m after his woman.”

“Are you?” she couldn’t help teasing, doing her best to not let the serious question behind the tease show through.

“Was Paris hot for Helen?”

“What?” sometimes his references were too obscure, though she got the feeling that she caught more than most.

“Paris, the cocky a*s Prince who sacrificed his entire city so that he could bed that fair but faithless minx Helen of Troy.”

“So…” Laura liked the way that sounded, “you’d sacrifice a city for me?”

“Sure. As long as you don’t make it too big a one.”

“Cheapskate!” She stuck her tongue out at him.

“Nope, just lazy,” he’d lounged back against the fence and looked at her in a way that made her very sorry she had a hike scheduled to start in a few minutes. “How about Hood River? I could sacrifice the town of Hood River for you.”

“Oh, we’re down to mere towns now? You promised me a city. Besides, you’d never lay waste to the Doghouse Inn.”

“True. True. How about Spokane? No one would miss it, I mean not really. It’s in a whole other state for crying out loud.”

“Deal!” They shook on it. They’d parted with a kiss that was as sweet as ever and had her practically skipping like a schoolgirl on her way to the Lodge to meet the guests.

When she’d glanced back from the last turn that would hide the corral, he still stood there, studying the horse rather than watching her.

Yep, she was stuck in his craw but good and he still didn’t see it. At some point soon he was going to either choke on it, or spit her out as too much trouble.

She decided that it was time to put a mark on her calendar. One more week and she would have spent a month being tolerant of the man who so wanted to be with her, but couldn’t stop looking for a reason to run away.

That would be enough. If he didn’t have his act together by then, she’d be the one to break the relationship silence. Because except for this one tiny flaw, Johnny was daily becoming more and more the man of her dreams.