In The Garden of Lust

Chapter One-3

“So?” I venture timidly into the silent void that’s suddenly come crashing down around us.

At last she sighs and her stiffly regal bearing eases. “Oh, my dear girl, you have always had a way of getting under my skin. I hate that.” And I hate it when she calls me ‘girl’, but I don’t react. Could it be I’ve actually moved her? “I’ve never seen you like this. Not ever.”

“So?”

“So,” she sighs heavily, “you win. You’ve won me over. We’ll charge right in.” My heart’s practically bouncing off the walls. “But…” she glowers again. “I’m not going to make this easy on you. You’ll do everything that any of my sub clients are required to do—whether you like it or not. No special favors.”

“I don’t want any special favors.”

“You say that now.”

“I won’t give you a second’s hesitation.”

“Right,” she throws some sarcasm behind the word. “Just remember. You can back out, change your mind, alter your profile or give this up at any time. That won’t bother me in the slightest. But, since you’re so determined to see it through, let me warn you. You’re not going to like everything I ask. But, unless you suddenly run into something so offensive that you simply can’t do it—at which point you’d better come right out and tell me—I expect your willing cooperation. No hesitation. No long string of questions. No hedging. No excuses. Are you getting this?”

“I am.”

“You start being submissive now. You start being a slave now, not the day you meet your master.”

“I understand.” I’m gloating inside.

“And a few cautions.” My god, will this never end? “Don’t accept an arrangement just because you think you should, or you think you need to, or it would be good for you. Don’t let some Dom talk you into a scenario you have concerns about. I know this has you creaming your panties—and that’s good. This should be turning you on.” I snicker, agreeing. “I don’t doubt you’ll be orgasming when you finally start reading the profiles.” She has no idea; I’m practically salivating already. “And that’s not bad. You should be aroused, highly aroused. But you also need to keep your head about you. This is an important decision. You need to look at the profiles with a rational mind. Go over them carefully, take out that fine tooth comb and read every, every, every word. Don’t get lost in the pretty pictures. If the man says he wants to ride you like a pony, you’d better imagine yourself with 175 lbs riding on your back. If he likes caging his slaves, you better expect to live in one for weeks at a time. If he says he’ll beat you, you’ll be sore and bruised by the time he’s done. I don’t allow blood, but like I said, I can’t be there to stop a man in the middle of a sadistic orgasm. Take nothing for granted. Ask questions. And don’t assume these men are just into the mind f**k. They’re not. Any qualms, any reservations, stop right there. That clear?”

The drumbeat of desire inside me is picking up speed, growing stronger with her every word.

“Yes, perfectly clear. I promise, I’ll be rational and prudent and everything else I’m trying to avoid for the summer.”

She smiles at my attempt to lighten the mood. I’m sure she’s still suspicious of my motives, but I have won her over. “All right then.” She picks up her teacup and takes a sip. Her air of authority resumes again. “I’ll schedule you for an appointment for Friday afternoon.”

It is Monday now. “Couldn’t I, maybe, peek at your files right now?”

She laughs out right. “No, Lena,” she speaks patiently. “This isn’t a night or a weekend, it’s a summer. For long term arrangements like this one, the process is entirely different from what you went through before. The requirements are more exacting. Plus, I need to do a preliminary search. You’ll complete an application and several prerequisites on your next visit. Between now and Friday I want you to compose a totally candid statement about what you’re seeking to accomplish in your summer of slavery, and why this is so important to you. This isn’t for me. This will become part of your on-line profile for potential Dominants to see. I need that on Friday.”

At the moment, we’re not friends but business associates. I feel the shift in Miriam’s manner, just as I feel myself shift into a lower submissive gear that requires patience and respect. My respect for Miriam is a given. But my patience grows thin when I’m consumed by so much anxiety. This is a dream that has haunted me for years. If only that magical, mystical male presence that embraces me in the garden could step from my dreams and become real. Since I know that doesn’t happen in real life, it’s frustrating that I can’t peek at Miriam’s files now. However, we have traveled pretty far today. After the rocky start, I should be happy that she’s considering this at all.