SECOND CHANCES

“No matter how Impossible, Unattainable, or Unimaginable something may seem. If it's meant to be, it will be.”  * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  "We had an expiration date. We both knew it but didn't want to acknowledgment it. This wasn't meant to work out. The worst part is...you are perfect! You are everything a girl could ever ask for; smart, kind, funny, sweet, hot, nice to everyone. You are the whole package. I don't....I don't fit with you." Tears brimmed my eyes but I kept going. I had to say this or I would back down and stay with him. "I can't keep standing by as you explain to your friends and family why you're with me. I can't make you choose sides anymore. Even they know I'm not good enough for you; can't fathom why you picked me out of everyone. You can have any girl you want but you stuck with this," I gestured to my face and body, "you stuck with whatever this is." I've heard what everyone says about me. I'm not an i***t. I've seen the way people look at me when I was with him. Saw the glares and hateful words muttered about me, even when I was present. "You need someone that fits you Who people can look at and go 'yes they belong together." And I don't fit that picture, never will." I choked out the truthful words. As much as they hurt they were true. I've tried to push those thoughts away but I can't do that anymore. "I won't let you give up your dreams for me. I can't. You were made to this and I won't let anymore, including me, ruin your only shot." I spoke fiercely. Despite everything in me screaming to stop talking, to take back the words, I couldn't. I could hear his parents words repeating in my head as I stood there. Telling me to break it off or I'd ruin his chances of being in the NFL. Telling me he was going to give up football for me. Going to give up his dream career, a career he's been working for since he was 13. "You are going to find the most perfect woman who will be by your side as you win Super Bowl after Super Bowl. And you will love her with every ounce of her being, because that is who you are." I said, even though just the thought of him with someone else sent a dagger right to my heart. Knowing if I didn't leave now I wouldn't, I took a step back. It felt like my feet were glued to the ground but I made them move. It was time to go. Tilting my head back I gazed up at those ocean blue eyes that had become my world in such a short amount of time. I knew in that moment I wouldn't ever forget my time with Harold James. Everyone moment we spent together will forever be engraved in my mind. He will move on and forget about me, that I have no doubt on, but, I won't ever forget him and the way he made me feel. Despite how I felt for him I knew I wasn't good enough for him. His parents and his friends were right. I just realized it too late. "I'm so sorry for wasting your time." The sobs I was holding in were seconds away from bursting. Not wanting to break down in front of him I said my final goodbye. "Goodbye, Harold." With that I turned and hastily walked away. I knew if I so much as paused I would turn right around and jump back in his arms. Screw everyone and everything else. Every part of me was hoping and pleading that Harold would call out my name or chase after me. Telling me that I was being stupid and that we could work through this, regardless of what others say. But glancing over my shoulder I found him turned to the side, looking down at his phone. Almost like he couldn't wait for me to leave. The sight broke me but it was enough to finally hit the nail on the head. I turned back around and ran down the sidewalk as far away from him as possible. Each step leaving pieces of my heart.