24.The wolf, the secrets, the truth
2341 Words
“You did that at sixteen?” Elio gapes. “And nobody knows you can do that?”
“Mom does. She remembers. I’m waiting for her to say something. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk about the past? Maybe she wants to keep it buried?” He shrugs. “I don’t use magic. I learned to lock it away and keep it that way. There are some strange things I can do, I just don’t want to. I chose not to.”
“Maybe that was the smart thing to do? We will never know.” Elio nods. “So, the dream is always the same? Of that day and the kill?”
“Yes. It always ends with the blood shining red in the sun.” He nods. “That is what wakes me up. And the taste of blood in my mouth. I can still remember it. I can’t stand it.”
“It might be trauma that got stuck in your mind. You were too young for it. You had no training. It was purely instinct. The wolf is fine, it’s his nature. But it’s not yours. The human part has to learn patterns, behaviours, rules. The wolf has only one rule. Survive.” Elio explains. “You have to deal with the memory. You have to accept it. You can’t go back and change it. It’s impossible. But you can learn to let it go.”
“How? I think I have to talk with mom about it. She was there.” Mateo shakes his head. “I hate to drag it all back up, but I can’t sleep.”
“Have you tried shifting? The wolf doesn’t dream the same, because he doesn’t think the same.” Elio suggests.
“Yes. Last night. I went to sleep as a wolf. I woke up in human form this morning. I didn’t dream. I slept in. I got seven hours of sleep.” He smiles. “I never could before. Lyana didn’t know about my wolf. I only told her a few days ago.”
“I see you both benefit from the truth. Keep giving her small pieces about yourself. It might take longer, but I think she is willing to give you the time, if you give her something tangible, like the wolf.” Elio tells him.
“Should I explain my dream? How do I tell her that I killed someone? I might have been young and naive, but I did it. I didn’t have to go down. I didn’t have to let my wolf act on instinct. I could have held back.” Mateo wonders.
“Or you could have gotten killed. There is no way of knowing. Was it the surprise attack? Was the guy just distracted? Or was he cocky? Do you remember if the wolf used magic to incapacitate him? What was the one thing that allowed you, a sixteen-year old, to kill an adult wolf? A very angry adult wolf.” Elio asks. “Think about it. Ask your wolf.”
“I will.” Mateo nods. “Do you still want to meet my wolf? Bear in mind he’s dangerous. I don’t want to wake up dead, if you do something that provokes him.”
“Twisted logic. I think I get the meaning. Are you sure I can win against your wolf?” Elio inquires.
“Yeah. I don’t let him access the magic. He promised to behave, but I never know what he’ll do. I only shift in a controlled environment, and alone.” He tells him.
“Show me. I experienced Allegra’s mind control. It can’t be stranger than that.” Elio shrugs. “She is learning to control her powers. I don’t get frightened easily, but she scares me.”
Mateo smiles at that. He heard all about Allegra’s powers. Mass mind control. With the ability to kill people without even touching them. Scary. He calls on his wolf and slips from his clothes. It’s just the two of them. Vito doesn’t count down in the cell. He is in sensory deprivation: dark, quiet, alone. He steps out in the foyer to have more space. The office desk takes too much room away. His wolf would feel restricted in there. He shifts without looking at Elio.
“Holy Hell!” Elio exclaims. “I get it now. The blood moon wolf. That is what my grandfather called it. Were you born on the summer solstice in the week of the blood moon? It’s a rare occurrence, but it can mess with werewolf genes. It’s also said that the blood moon wolf holds special abilities. You can’t be influenced, but you can do it to others, including Alpha wolves. You are an Alpha. Your magic comes from the moon goddess. The only problem is we don’t know which one.”
“Devana is a moon goddess.” Mateo says as he shifts back. He would love to let his wolf stretch his legs, but the conversation is more important. They are learning new things.
“Yeah. But, she’s Slavic. We are Italian, descendants from the Romans. My pack was around Alba for more than a thousand years.” Elio nods.
“So, you’re thinking Luna or Diana? The original moon goddess, or the later association of Diana and the moon?” Mateo wonders. “There are several possibilities. Maybe we should ask Devana? She might know something.”
“Do you know where she is? I haven’t seen her around Milano in a while.” Elio asks.
“She’s with Kara and Mattias.” Mateo tells him. “She sold her loft in Budapest.”
“How do you know all that?” Elio frowns. “I had my enforcers running all over for any kind of information, and you just know things?”
“I listen. I read. I’m not proud to say, but I stalk people online. They post little clues on Insta or f*******:. Social media doesn’t allow for privacy.” Mateo laughs. “I know a lot about everyone. You are an exception. You don’t have any social accounts. Most files about you are classified. I didn’t want to draw attention, so I never hacked any military records.”
“Wise. You would have been caught.” The guy chuckles. “I can’t tell you much. I was a drill sergeant. I was on missions all over the world. Educating others. I earned my rank. I got it even though I retired in the same month.”
“I heard a rumour. Is it true you never shift?” He inquires.
“You trusted me. I guess I can trust you.” Elio smirks. “I can’t shift. That’s why I never do. My wolf is stuck, but we learned to live with it. It’s more important that I can walk without any aids. If I ever shift, there is a huge chance I would kill myself with all the metal and plastic that is holdng my leg together.”
“Is that the reason why you never challenged Vito? The Alpha challenge states that you have to shift during the ceremony.” He wonders. It might be the sole reason why his father still lives to irritate them all.
“It was one reason. I can’t do the ceremony.” He nods. “But the other reason is support. The elders would never support me. I’m an outsider. So I placed my bet and my support on Marra. She is capable of leading.”
“I think you chose right. Anyone other from the elders council would just make things worse. Those fools are not good for the pack.” Mateo agrees.
“I still think you would be better for the pack, but the choice is yours. I think Marra would back you up.” Elio shrugs.
“That is not just my decision. Lyana has to say yes, too.” Mareo shakes his head. “She would be Luna. I can’t force things on her. She doesn’t know half of it. There is so much I still have to tell her.”
“Start with the dreams. Go back and apologise for the things you didn't confide in her as a teenager.” Elio advises. “There must have been a reason why you kept things from her back then?”
“Yeah. Her grandmother was really sick. I didn’t want to put more on her.” He nods. “I know it’s a lame excuse, but it’s the truth.”
“Tell her that.” Elio smiles. “You will have to eventually. Make it an evening session. Set a timer and start talking. Just like you would write a book. When the time runs out, you stop and continue the next day.”
“Huh? Not a bad idea. But that way I start with the most difficult thing to say.” Mateo looks at Elio. The guy shows nothing. His poker face is even better than Lyana’s. “You realise I have to confess murder to her?”
“So? You were defending your mom. The guy was a rogue? Right?” Elio shrugs. “I think she understands the wolf pack dynamics.”
“Yes. There were more. I learned about it while eavesdropping several days later.” Mateo nods. “I’m still not justifying what I did.”
“Nobody said you are. You don’t have to. It’s long done.” Elio chuckles. “Stop beating yourself up because of it.”
“That’s easy for you to say. How many people have you killed?” Mateo glares at the guy. How can he talk about murder so easily? Or is it just Mateo who can’t look past it for some reason? The guy is ex-military, he has probably seen some combat.
“374, I think.” Elio answers. “A few can be debated. You can never be hundred percent sure if you’re not the only one shooting at the enemy.”
“Oh…” Mateo comments. That is all he can say. He has no opinion, no answer, no smart retort. He is speechless.
“It doesn’t get any easier with time. It all comes down to how you look at it. Rather they than me. Rather a stranger than my friends. I think you understand where I’m going with this?”
“Yes. I have to think about it. If I start talking, it’s going to set the ball in motion. Once I tell her everything, she can still pack her stuff and leave.” He nods. It’s a thing he has to clear to have a future. With lyana, with his mother, with himself. He’s been holding himself back, just as much as he was keeping everyone else in the dark.
“Good. Think it through, but we both know you have to tell her everything.” Elio nods. “I’m confident that she won’t leave you.”
“Did she tell you that? I know you two are talking. She told me herself. I can’t even be mad at her for talking with you behind my back, because I’m doing the same.” Mateo laughs. The lighter topic is a safe one. “Right now you know more about me than she does. And she’s my mate.”
“But you haven’t bonded. I could have smelled that.” Elio raises an eyebrow in question.
“No. That is the other part I’m worried about. Will she hate me for keeping the bond from her? I know she felt it with my wolf. She hasn’t confronted me yet, but I dread the day she does.” Mateo hands his head in shame. He knows it’s a bastard move from him to keep doing it. But, can he bind her? Can he take away the choice? She is clueless about him.
“I don’t know the answer. I could be wrong, but I think she doesn’t care. She loves you. She is probably questioning everything. She must be wondering why the bond isn't complete.” Elio tells him. “That is a conversation you have to have with her.”
“I know. I just don’t want to.” He sighs. He is terrified of her reaction.
“I never pegged you for a coward. Are you so afraid of losing her?” Elio inquires. “Is the way you do it dangerous? Does it harm her? Or just you?”
“You figured me out? Magic is the answer to that. Insomnia is the punishment for holding the bond back.” He admits. Why is it so easy to talk with Elio, but impossible to get the words out when it’s Lyana?
“What else can you do? Where is the limit?” Elio wonders.
“I have no idea. I don’t use it much. I locked the magic away. I’m afraid of my own powers.” Mateo tells him. “You mentioned a tutor? Who did you have in mind?”
“A friend of mine. From the military. She’s a witch. A mediocre one, but she might know a few tips and tricks.” Elio answers.
“Can you invite her? I don’t want to involve any of the gods. Or Ty. The guy scares me to death.” Mateo asks quietly. He doesn’t want to talk about Ty. He knows he’s a dragon, but he didn’t acquire that knowledge from Ty or Vesna. He’s not supposed to know at all.
“Sure.” Elio nods. “But she’ll need a place to stay.”
“I can book her a hotel room. No problem.” He scribbles a few notes on a pad, so he doesn’t forget later.
“The mansion is still empty?” The guy chuckles. “You need to solve this thing with Lyana fast. It’s a complete waste to have this place all empty.”
“I know.” Mateo nods.
- Writer
