Kissed by Fire (Book 5 of Wolves of Milano)

12.Love for books

Lyana keeps reading the story on the bus. She is so engrossed in it that she forgets to get off at her station. Now she is walking back home, thinking about it. He is good. She can see why the books are published and loved. The fan base he’s got on Insta is well earned. She checks his posts again. The pictures are good. The more she diggs, the more she thinks that he must have done them himself. There are subtle hints from him in the graphics and the characters are very close to what she imagined when reading.

She gets home to an empty house, again. Mateo is not chained to the house, but she still wonders what he does all day. He told her what he does at night when he can’t sleep. It’s a step in the right direction, but now she only has more questions. And she stupidly gave him one more week. Why does she torture herself so? Can she expect that he would open up and tell her more before the end of this new deadline? Probably not. But, maybe they can talk about the books? She discovered that she likes his style. She will read the evening away, because she is curious if she judged the characters right.

She makes herself a soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. It’s her one vice. She can’t ever get enough of grilled cheese. But now she doesn’t have to worry about expenses that much. He told her that he earns a lot with the books. He will contribute to the budget. That is one worry less for her. If only she can get him to tell her more. To accept the mate bond. She knows it’s there somewhere, but for the life of her, she can’t figure out why it never forms. She knows they are mates, she feels it. Her wolf can feel it, too. Is it Mateo? Is he somehow holding it back? Is that even possible? What else could it be? Are they mates, but the Fates have someone else in mind for them? Would she meet someone better if she goes to Avignon? Is that the course of her life that she needs to take?

If only she had someone to ask. She doesn’t have many friends. Well, she’s got one. And that one is human. Who could she talk about this with? She isolated herself from the wolves. She looks too different to blend in. She never went to the same bars or diners. She didn’t want to draw attention. She had Mateo and her grandmother. They were her ties to the pack. But granny died, and Mateo is the only one left. Could she make friends now that Vito is not pulling the strings? Elio said that Marra is different. Did he mean that she doesn’t care about appearances? Was it all just orders from a jaded Alpha? Or was there something about her that made other kids be mean to her? Kids pick up all sorts of things from their parents. It’s possible that they overheard something and bullied her because of that.

Why is she dwelling on the past? She left all this behind her. She learned not to care. She learned to stay away. Have those simple words Elio uttered spurred her imagination? Did it make her hope for a normal pack life? Is such a thing even possible here? Can Marra change the biggoted thinking of the elders? Would they even let her lead the pack? For the most part, the elders on the council are men. Marra and Ellena are the only women there. Because one is the Luna of the pack and the other made it to Beta. Marra is only the Beta because her own brother was too lazy to try for the position. And they have stonewalled and alienated Ted, her other brother.

She shakes her head. She will not think about that. She has a book to read. She has never been interested in the why of the pack politics. She lived her life under the radar for most of the time. She doesn’t need anyone! She makes herself a cup of tea and relaxes on the sofa. The end of the book is the only thing she’s interested in right now. She needs to know how it ends. She needs to know who is the killer. She can understand the motives of the characters, but who did it? They all were invested and they all have something to gain. Now she even understands how a person can get so engrossed in reading that he or she forgets about time. She did it today on the bus.

‘Stop stalling and read!’ Her wolf interupts her.

‘Patience.’ She tells the wolf. ‘Since when are you interested in anything I read?’

‘Since you read something interesting. I have no idea what those comics are about. I don’t get all the information. I don’t see the pictures, only your impressions of them.’ The wolf tells her.

‘Oh! I never thought about it that way. I can read more books if you prefer?’ Lyana suggests to the wolf.

‘Great! How many books did Mateo write? I like this one. I want you to read more.’ Her wolf answers.

‘I have his k****e. We can get all of them.’ She smiles. It’s not common for them to have the same interests. Her wolf is a simple creature. She doesn’t care for the hospital, or for the city, not even for the garden. Her wolf prefers the forest or the comfort of the house.

Lyana wakes up on the sofa with the first rays of the sun shining through the window. She can’t remember when she fell asleep, but the tea is still sitting there and the k****e is on the table next to it. She sits up and sniffs the air. Mateo is not here. He didn’t come home last night. She feels a pang of disappointment. She thought they were making progress, but apparently, she was wrong. She reaches for her phone. Maybe he sent a text? The phone is set to silent. She must have forgotten to turn it back to normal when she left work. There are seven texts and fifteen missed calls. He tried. This is on her.

She is just making some toast with jam when he comes home. He looks even more tired than usual. She smiles at him and pases her plate over to him. He needs it more. Besides, there is something she can do for him. He’s the one who always makes breakfast for her.

“Thank you.” Mateo sighs.

“What happened last night? How bad is it?” She wonders.

“A fire. It wasn’t bad, it just took all night to get it contained.” He tells her. “I slept at the station for two hours. I was so tired I couldn’t walk.”

“You’re staying home today?” Lyana glances his way. She knows the answer, but she hopes she’s wrong.

“No.” He shakes his head. “I just came to see you. I need some food and a nap. I’m going back. Vittorio set up a watch. The fire might be contained, but it’s still burning slowly. The warehouse was filled to the roof.”

“Shall I make you something better? Toast is just a snack.” She offers it to him.

“Please.” Mateo smiles back at her. She noticed he passed over the coffee. He must be near the breaking point. He needs more sleep.

“Go take a nap. I promise to wake you when lunch is ready.” She should have said a million other things, but he’s too tired to listen. Staying up all night battling a fire is not what he should be doing with the insomnia and nightmares plaguing him. He might be a shifter and his stamina is way better than any humans, but even he can’t keep going for long. She worries what will happen when he breaks. A werewolf out of control is bad. Mateo has issues she can only guess at. In all the years they lived together she has never seen him shift. She does it every now and then to keep the balance with her wolf, but she doesn’t know if he does.

Lyana prepares a risotto to go with grilled chicken breast and tomatoes. They both like the sweet and salty taste of grilled tomatoes. Maybe she can buy a steak or two, now that he admitted they have more money than she thought. She always admired his cooking skills. He always prepared great food with the little they had in the fridge. She wonders what he can whip up with no obstacles. Will he even cook now? She will ask when he gets some rest. It’s important for wolves to get enough sleep and he is running low every day.

He said he’s willing to try. That he’s talking with someone. But it’s not magical, for that he would have to go see one of the gods that call Milano their home. Is he saving that as a last resort? Who is he talking with? Not her doctor friend, she would hint at something, but she hasn’t. In the end, does it even matter? As long as he gets better, she is content. Her two hours are almost up. She has to wake him up to eat together before she goes to work. She hopes he can change his mind and rest some more. It’s just that, hope. She knows he will keep his word and go back. That’s just the way he is. And he quit so many other things and jobs, but he never gave up on the firefighters. That is a constant in his life. She can’t force him to give that up. She can’t even ask him to. It would have been too selfish.

“What do you think about my book?” Mateo asks her over lunch.

“I like it. I’m almost done with the first one. I fell asleep last night. I can’t believe I did that. I was so curious who killed the guy.” She answers him.

“I won’t spoil it for you.” He smiles. “Thank you for this. It’s what I need, light but nutritious.”

“You’re going back?” She inquires.

“I have to. I never stopped you from going to work. No matter how tired you looked. Please, give me the same courtesy.” Mateo looks her straight in the eyes. She can see the determination in his blue eyes. He is all set to go.

“I can’t stop you. Just be careful.” She nods. She knows she can’t change anything. It’s futile to fight about it. They are both the same: too stubborn when it comes to work that they love.

She kisses him lightly before they part ways. He can walk to the fire station, it’s close enough. She takes the bus. She can’t show up to work all sweaty and smelly. The wolf could lend her the stamina to run the 30 blocks to the hospital, but someone might see her and question it. She can’t easily explain it away. She can’t draw attention to herself. Vito might not be a threat anymore, but the humans still are.

The bus ride gives her the chance to finish the book. She is curious for real. She wasn’t just saying that to make him feel better. His style is good. She just might discover her love for books again. The comics are great, but she is an adult now. She has to broaden her horizon and read more. It’s not that she loathed reading, it’s just that all the forced books they had to read in school were boring. The comics were her escape, but now she has something else. Murder misteries are her new thing. She has to thank Mateo for introducing her to the new genre.