Butterflies fluttered wildly within me as I stared up at the mirrored ceiling above me. Warren dimmed the lights enough to hide all my flaws, but it still allowed me to see his beautiful, muscular back and shoulders as he moved closer. The mattress dipped with his weight as he closed the gap between us, and I felt his heavy breathing echo to my core. I wasn’t always this girl. In fact, I don’t even recognize her in the reflection staring back at me. I used to be innocent, shy, good, but I also used to be alone. The temporary and lust-filled loving I received from these encounters filled me with a feeling of enough self worth that I knew I would never again be a girl who could survive without the touch of a man. I relied on it as much as an addict relied on their drug of choice. Warren was my pick-me-up, and boy, did he rise to the occasion.
My fingers flexed and fisted at the sheets of his king sized bed as his big firm hands held onto my thighs, spreading me open for him. If this was how he’d greet me every time I paid him a visit, I would attempt to come over more often. I felt his stubble prick the sensitive skin of my inner thighs as he licked me with long, leisurely strokes. Holy hell, he was a good kisser, but then again... this guy was made for f*****g. There was nothing about him that didn’t scream s*x, from his piercing grey eyes that looked up at me from between my legs, to his juicy lush lips that grazed over my cleft as he smiled up at me... I hooked my legs over his shoulder as I pulled him to me, craving more of him. He only let out a primal growl as his mouth reached my p***y, the sensation vibrating to my core as I quivered in anticipation.
I gasped and my back arched off the bed as I felt his fingers slide into me. His lips curving with satisfaction as he heard me unravel at his doing. Warren was a big powerful warrior, the Beta to my pack’s ally, who I had wrapped around my little finger and was completely at my disposal. It was something that filled me with a sense of power and appreciation. Just as his teeth playfully closed around my clit, I heard the door open, but whoever it was didn’t leave. I opened my eyes to see his best friend standing there, watching us with jealous amusement. With my skin already dampened with lust, I patted the empty half of the bed beside me, smiling invitingly at our spectator.
Warren looked up at me, amazed and confused at my reaction. “You want him to watch?” his deep voice rolled over my skin, sending waves of pleasure coursing through me. I nodded my answer as I bit my lip. I could feel my cheeks heat, feeling his eyes on me, but I was letting go, and I felt free. “You want him to see me shove my c**k into your greedy little cunt,” Warren said, his voice was husky as he climbed over me, settling between my legs, “you want me to prove that you are mine?” he said. He could talk dirty like no man could, and I liked it.
“No,” I breathed, my heart pounding in my throat, “I want to prove that you are mine.” I smiled wickedly. There was nothing sexier than to be possessed by my possessions, as sexy as Warren was... he belonged to me for however long I wanted him to.
What Warren and I had was a casual arrangement... casual as in, we hooked up whenever I needed to be f****d into a state of temporary amnesia. I couldn’t care less about him personally, and I didn’t have to. He served his purpose repeatedly. Monogamy isn’t really my thing, you see. They say werewolves mate for life... perhaps that meant I was broken... the monogamous gene missing from my DNA... I missed the memo... whatever. Being marked and tied to one person for the rest of my life? Nah, I believed life to be one crazy ride, and it deserves to be well ridden. I had one solid rule: to never dip my pen in the company’s ink. Sneaking around with Cole Donald’s Beta was probably half the fun. As soon as I knew he was asleep, I carefully lifted Warren’s arm, moving it from where it remained wrapped around my waist. Holding my breath, I softly placed it down on the bed next to me as I snuck out. I didn’t sleep over; I didn’t do boyfriends, and spending the night felt too... close. I quickly got dressed, combed my fingers through my waist length black hair and padded out the door, shoes in hand. The door creaked as I shut it behind me; the sound filling the quiet, dark room. This would have been a heart racing, nail biting, and breath hitching moment of suspense... if it wasn’t such a frequent occurrence.
I drove into my apartment building’s underground parking lot and pulled my Black Audi into its designated spot. My car was my symbol of independence and the first thing I’d ever bought with the money I earned from working part time at the local gym. I loved everything about it, including its stereo system. Taking the elevator to my floor, I walked down the long carpeted hallway that lead to my door. I could breathe here. It differed from the home I grew up in. I felt safe here, free from judgement. Glancing over at the row of closed doors stretched along the empty hallway, I felt alone. I was safe. Nobody was going to hurt me here. Nobody was going to stare at me with their judgemental glares. But then again, nobody knew me here. They had no reason to. Turning the key, I let myself into the two-bedroom apartment I shared with Lillian, my childhood best friend and reason I was still sane. The darkness weighed heavily on my shoulders as I dropped my keys into the olive green pottery bowl Lil bought as a housewarming gift. Flicking on the lights, I appreciated the familiarity of our small kitchen and our comfortable three seater couch. We had little, but what we had was ours. Removing my phone from my pocket, I noticed I had a few missed calls. They taunted me with their hidden information, seduced my curiosity and basically forced me to access my voicemail.
“Welcome to your voice mailbox service. You have five new voice messages, and zero saved messages. Press hash to skip this message...” I heard the automated female voice load and clear over my telephone’s speaker. “BEEP.”
“Miranda, why don’t you ever pick up the phone when I call you? Please call me back urgently.” I pressed delete with a massive eye roll. “Next voice message...”
“Miranda, this is your mother... again. Call me back. There is something I need to discuss with you.” Delete. “Next voice message...”
“Miranda darling... you are making mommy angry. Pick up your bloody phone, which is why you have it after all.” DELETE!! “Next voice message...”
“You know, Mari would never do this to her mother. You should take a lesson from you cousin and CALL ME BACK!” DELETE, DELETE, DELETE, DELETE!!! I stab my finger at the innocent victim called ‘my phone.’
I went to take a shower and allowed the warm and comforting water to wash away Warren’s scent. Some, like my loving mother, would call a girl like me by a four character, single syllable label... S.L.U.T. but I say... f**k’em... at least I am enjoying the ride, right?
“You know, you could at least wake me when you get in. Warren is PISSED, by the way. Andrew tells me he punched a hole in the wall.” Lillian said as she walked into the bathroom.
“Uh huh,” I smile. She cracked me up with her rants... something she was profoundly good at.
“And you could warn me before you piss him off again. It’s quite a jolt being woken by his frantic best friend,” she said, walking into the bathroom. “I need some warning.”
“Noted.” I turned to wink at her. She held out a towel for me, the loyal best friend that she is... What I would do without her. Lillian was a beautiful blond, tall and slender in a supermodel way. And although she could have pretty much any guy she wants, she was still hung up on a guy who was hung up on another girl... Yeah... try to tell me again why monogamous love is so great? “My mom called again,” I told her as I took the towel from her hand.
“Em... you can’t avoid her forever, you know,” she says sympathetically. She was there when my mother told me she believed me to be a slut. Lillian was there picking up the pieces when my mother told me Cole was better off with another mate. Yes, Lillian was there for it all, and I loved her for it.
“Can’t I at least try?” I joked, throwing the damp towel at her.
“Well... we got this rocking apartment... who would’ve thought your mom would be so keen to get her adorable, innocent, little daughter out from under her roof by signing this lease for us?” she laughed. Although it was meant as a joke, it still left a sting that would linger for hours, or days, until we went to the club and found a new distraction. Life was fun as a twenty-one-year-old. Who needed actual love when you had desire and lust? Love only sets you up for pain. I am glad Cole rejected me, and I am just as glad that I finally accepted it days later. We would’ve been absolutely miserable together, anyway.