"Alina! Alina!" Cried the children. Their giggles were contagious. It was a very late visit yet they were still awake. I could imagine Joyce's headache putting all of them into bed. But I knew her so well. Her heart was as soft as cotton.
"They stayed up late when they heard you were coming. I just let them stay up since they miss you two," said Miss Joyce. She was in charge of facilitating the charity. At 46, devoting her life to these kids was what kept her going. She loved each one of them. She became the mother they never had.
I hugged the woman, "Sorry to bother you this late. I just knew it at the last minute- ops!" Shara—the youngest in the charity jumped at me, giggling. The hug with Joyce was shortened by Shara's spontaneity. I smiled at her, "Careful, Shara. You'll get hurt," I kissed her roly-poly cheeks, giving her an alternating kiss. Hmm! I couldn't get enough of kissing her soft cheeks. I looked at her. Her natural black curls that adorned her crown almost covered her eyes. They were beautiful on her. "So cute." I pinched her cheeks.
"Don't mention it, Alina. We're happy to see you again. And anyway, she just turned five last Sunday."
I gasped in surprise. "Oh, happy birthday, little one! You've grown up so fast, so sweet, and heavy," I said with a fake monster's sound that would devour her fat in the body, then laughed when I saw her pout her lips as I brought her down to the floor.
"You didn't come, Alina. Sunday, Ms. Joyce said...We..we had a meal together. I waited for you and Sandro, but...but you forgot," her tone was that of hurt and disappointment. Her little voice sounded so adorable as it was always kind of prolonged before she could finish the whole thing she wanted to say.
"I am so sorry, my dear. Can you forgive me? Something happened that was why I couldn't come, but I did not forget it. Why would I? You're of the best people in my world." I smiled, "Who says I forgot?"
I said just as Alessandro walked in with a huge pink teddy bear in his arms. "Happy birthday, little one!"
"Sandro! Teddy!" Shara jumped for joy, running towards him. Giggling. Giggles that would stretch everyone's lips to a heartwarming smile.
It was touching to see such an adorable reaction. It truly overwhelmed my heart. The other kids rushed forward, excited to see what he had stored for them. As usual.
Things are like that here. You can't surprise one with a gift and leave the other feeling envious, may it be a birthday or merely a surprise. Or even a visit. Everybody gets a treat. Providentially, anything and everything we bring to the place, they are all excited to receive. And all are appreciative.
"He visits twice a month and every time, I have to tell the kids you're sick and can't see them." Said Joyce beside me. I let out a sigh.
The kids followed him outside where we parked the car. The treats were in the trunk.
"I thought if I stayed, he'd be reminded of his sister's death over again. It hurt me. He was hurting. I couldn't bear it."
"It wasn't your fault. Nobody wanted that to happen. You shouldn't blame yourself for something you have no control over. Fate brings things together and will sometimes separate things forever."
"I don't know what to make of it... It's difficult, Ms. Joyce. He wouldn't talk to me. He wouldn't even look at me then."
I felt her touch on my shoulder, "Let him grieve for her, Alina, but do not think he blames you for what happened. I never think he does. The man was lost when you left him. He didn't say anything about it or confided it with anyone, but I could see it in his eyes. There was no emotion. He was walking in the air, not on land. He was like that. Like he was floating. Imagine how painful it was to lose a loved one and then lose another one all of a sudden."
"He changed,"
"He's the same. It's the situation that changed, but don't let it decide your circumstances."
The children were cheerfully babbling their way back in, looking elated with their treats in their hands. Alessandro was still carrying the teddy bear for Shara, who looked so charmed. He looked pleased with himself. The creases on his forehead were gone; his tight smile was replaced with a genuine one.
When his eyes met mine, I immediately turned to Joyce and pretended to listen. In all honesty, I was listening to her talking about the upcoming event next month, yet the other half of my senses were following him.
I sighed.
Joyce was right, I shouldn't let circumstances change us and change what we used to have.
.
.
"I have to be early for work tomorrow," I said when we safely arrived home. He was silent throughout the drive. After we had played with the kids for a few minutes and had tea with Joyce, we went our way.
We just arrived home and parked the car.
"You're not going to work tomorrow," he said as he turned off the engine.
I could feel my brows knit together. "What do you mean? I need to work. I had my tasks left unfinished when you decided to snatch me out of my office."
"Did you just sneer at me?" His eyes squinted.
"I didn't," I equaled his stare. I did sound sneering; it was a natural response. Why wouldn't he let me go to work? "I have to work tomorrow. There are things I need to do."
"I already spoke with Rodriguez, you've got a week's notice of your resignation. "
"What?!" I couldn't believe him.
My eyes followed his nonchalant movement as he took the key out, opened the door, and walked away. I was left inside the car, feeling floored by his offhand decision.
He knew my boss.
That's not even questionable. Finding me had not taken him long, and I was okay with it. But my job? A week's resignation notice? He's giving me a kink on my neck. What could he have possibly done?!
With all possible haste, I followed him. He had almost reached the door to his room when I firmly called him. His steps halted. And that made me quicken my steps up the stairs.
"I will work tomorrow. I don't care how you know my boss. It's my job, my responsibility. Your personal issue is yours to resolve. Leave my job alone." I asserted with a will. And with that, I turned around, marched to my room, and locked it.
My back leaned on the door, I felt breathless at how I had fought him back through heated stares. I could still feel his cold eyes that seemed to glimmer with fire. He was angry, I knew that. It constantly annoyed him when I disobeyed his orders. It didn't mean he had the full authority over me, but I gave him that docility; I always concede to whatever he asked of me.
This time was different. If I had to change the circumstances around us, I had to start changing my own circumstances. I couldn't let him run my life for me. And that should start with my job. I found it, made myself through it, and worked my way into it. I couldn't see any reasons why he had to interdict me...unless... he wanted me to suffer.
My heart clenched. He wouldn't do that, would he?
My knees seemed to waver, so I let my body slide off the door down to the floor, letting everything drift back to a memory that was difficult to bury.
When did it all begin?