MEMENTO ROCK

Sweet feeling of love

After my decision to follow my heart, I made an extra move. I decided that “if I could be wasted by love, then it may be fatal, to lose both girl and family ties although it’s only a fool who waits to learn on his own turn.”

I discovered that I had been staying a suspicious life where by nobody trusted me. I started losing my hope that I had a family. I wrote in my heart history that all my family members were under the ploughed graves. I had to choose what was right and omit the wrong acts. Nothing other than to love could I choose? Neither did I have property nor did relative trust enough to bring a choice. 

I had no other choice but to go to the Lightness home the next day. I used a matatu to travel that day, as I did not want more evidence to reveal. I left my cucu very angry and depressed as she was preparing breakfast. She didn’t know where I was heading to.  

As she felt ashamed of her words in the previous day, she had avoided direct speech with me. I could have asked her questions based on the case but chance was not available.

I found my father in law watering flowers outside the house. He was holding a long hosepipe. I narrated the story to him and added a story of my life to where I was. He comforted abundantly. 

He looked depressed even before I had approached him. I that his problem was too much big to be comfort by me. He looked around and turned to the direction of the house. 

“My wife is sick; find her in the house with your wife,” He said pleasantly in a very low tone. His tears spilled out hot.

“She can’t even talk, I have called a doctor form Kenyatta National Hospital to come and examine her” He added. I walked sadly towards the house. 

Just before I had stepped inside, I heard him following me hurriedly. Just then the gate slides open. A white car drove in, it was written saloon at the back. The doctor drove to the car parking shade and jumped out. Without greeting he run and passed me.  

I followed him to see why he was using that pace. Surprisingly mother lay on the bed. She was breathing slowly and hardly. On entry of the doctor she left and stretched herself in severe pain, then cried loudly. This was followed by a sudden relaxing and motionless state. Blue lines stretched everywhere. Tears of melancholy attacked the abode. 

“You are the cause of all this,” Lightness yelled to the doctor crying. “Since you were called early In the morning and you didn’t turn up! Why now?” She cried.

She rapidly picked her mom’s laptop to hit the doctor who was gazing at her in ridicule. This is when I noticed that I needed to take action right away. I rushed like lightening and held her hands.

“Come down dear” I pleaded her looking directly in her eyes. She dropped the laptop and struggled to free her hands, instead I pulled her out of the room.

“Stop it Lightness, it’s done!” I roared at her to rebuke her reactions. “If she’s not with us she is not a part of us! Respect her soul and let he rest in peace there!” 

She cooled gradually as I gazed at her standing.

“Her life was abortive as I am not enough to be left. I think I have nothing to live for.” 

“What about me? What about your mission’s? What about your dad? Are they not things good enough to celebrate? How do you value yourself? What is the value of your life? Don’t be like a young mongrel that only needs food and two barks a day without a bite of enemy”. I told her aggressively, shaking her hand as she sat on the corridor.

She then fell on the floor and kept quiet. I smoothly placed my hand on her chest only to feel heart at work. She had lost her conscience. I carefully lifted her and took her to her bedroom. Gently I placed her on the four poster bed. She lay motionless. Just like dead! With a lot of hurriedness I rushed to call her dad. I found him with the doctor.  

“She has fainted!” I told him breathing heavily.

“Who is this boss? Can you trust such a useless person for your daughter? He can r**e her!” the doctor said angrily pointing at me contemptuously. 

“Then? I have given him her as his love! Get out of my house right away” “father in law thundered with finality. “Remove your devil face here! You look like a devil lizard covered with sand!” 

He shamefully walked out hurriedly. He kept on looking behind fearfully. Suddenly he stopped and followed us. He entered Lightness’ bed room behind us. 

“I want money for transport please, you haven’t paid me yet” He told him putting his hand behind with honor.

“Money! For lateness, stupid useless mammal, leave!” He roared jumping to hit him.

I was in a dilemma to help Lightness or to solve the impending disagreements. I thought of solving disagreement but since they were old enough and energetic. I left them to fight.

Father- in- law gave the doctor a mega slap. He fell on the floor and silent followed. He had lost his conscience also. He started to attend the doctor instead of vice versa.

Just the workers entered. A doctor from Nyahururu Provincial Hospital followed them. I could hear the siren of the hearse from outside. 

“Doctor, carry even this rubbish and put it between the dead!” He said contemptuously referring to the fainted doctor.

“What has happened to him?” Nguiwan asked valiantly. 

“None of your business! Collect him and throw him out!” He was lifted up and carried out.

The mother’s body was placed in the hearse covered with a blue cloth. The fainted doctor was thrown out. On seeing that nobody had mercy on him he stood up and run to his car. He drove away without uttering a single word.

Just then Lightness came outside, better again. It was much commendable to see her smiling again after such an abysmal situation. She made my sun shine again. Her words brought a new beginning. She said that death of her beloved mother was an introduction to the world of challenges. She smiled broadly as the hearse left.

“Mother you have made my life a success in many ways rest in peace,” She waved right hand to the vanishing hearse.

 It deep into the sunny sceneries, of Nyahururu town. This was the day Shalon Waceke had the last breath.

Turning to me, “I expected you to leave me alone, Stephen,” she said pleasantly. “You are my happiness now and a reason to smile.” She added courageously. “I love you.”

The way she was crying was like disk. I could not understand it well. Now she was smiling. Surely mood is like weather it changes within no time, I got attracted to her magnetically, physically and even emotionally. 

“My love,” she called,” the beauty of my life is having such a loving person like you. That’s why I shall love you all the days of my life. I love the way you smile and talk, the way you laugh, the way you give me hopes when things turns blues. Your words and kisses are worth a movie. Everything we do together, are the best days of my life,” whispering in a golden voice. “It’s my decision and my mission to stay with you only. 

I wonder whether you were created or manufactured. Sweet words are easy to say while sweet things are easy to do but sweet as if you are rare and difficult to find. Love is what they call but without you it can’t exist so I treasure you. At times I cannot find words to express how deeply I feel about you. But I want you to know that you hold a very special part of my heart very day I am feeling more and more in love with you. I love you madly!”

Wah! I could not elucidate my feeling some that caught my hair was not like feeling. I felt like I was floating on the moon above the problems filled the earth. She lay on my chest romantically that made more and more affected by the word ‘love’ that I could not give appropriate range. 

It wasn’t acidic neither basic nor neutral for I could not elucidate. All this was led by great feeling that evolved between us. It was inevitable, even his dad got frightened. The veracity was, we were one and common so replica. 

We walked to the entertain room. His father was more attracted to our togetherness and he followed us like articulated lorry.

Here we played loves songs like My love from west life, Malaika by Nyasinshiki and You caught my eyes by Judy Boucher. Her dad was sitting near the wall recording is as we acted our drama. 

“Children!” He called “life moves like a supersonic jet, I tell you.” He went on! “Some years just recently I was enjoying life with your late mother just right here. I used to sing songs like Njata yakwa by De Mathew and Wendo by Mutara and now she is gone. Make your life, a memory when with a chance remember that its nothing until it’s done.

 Never be like a double decker that you climb to sit then it moves slowly and never climbs hills. Let your life be a jeep that keeps you safe even in times of war. It moves roughly on rocks, enjoys hill and celebrates mountains. Let the smile that I can see now never fade,” He advised us. Tears could roll down his cheeks as he said this.

“Soon, I will come to forget this fateful day but I will never forget her as she left memories in every step she made. It is good to be happy every time, smile as you do anything and life becomes well with you. Go on …” he left the room.

Some minutes later Susan brought a thermos flask of tea and two wine glasses. She served it on the table that was just near the stereo systems.

“Have tea please, Welcome!” She said leaving the room.

Soon we were tired of music. We had danced enough. We went out coupling holding hands together. She led me into the town, Nyahururu. 

Some people suggested that we were brother and sister, others cousins while others couples. Nobody was wrong depending on the point of view.

As a part of picnic we visited one of the hardware’s that had the big number of customers that were in a queue. 

Suddenly, I saw my aunt who was one of my mother’s sister. She was in the wave just after the last person. She gazed at me then turned to Lightness who was behind me eating chips.

She looked at us as if we had germinated another head. She opened her mouth wide enough to see intestines then covered with left hand. I thought the stock was surprising her. If not the beauty of Lightness made her day. She walked towards me with sadness written on the face.

With honor she greeted me but she didn’t greet Lightness. She went passed her and disappeared through the back door.

Why could she do like this? Even a word was a problem to speak. Why could she be so contemptuous to me? I can’t blame her even if my sister died on their hands. Things happen naturally but families ties can never be forgot, neglected or rejected. I tried to search her but the crowd was busy that I could not see her.

I tried to recall how we used to go to our maternal grandmother but I could not remember anything. I gave up on her and had to let her go. I turned to Lightness but I notice she had not seen her. She was still enjoying the juicy chips where she ate piece by piece picking with a tooth pick. This made me too wet my mouth and like great friends I joined her in emptying the packet.

After a few minutes I met with the manager of the hard ware and Lightness introduced me to him. He was called Benson Mutia, a very hardworking man. He told me that, ‘quality is an act not a habit.’ We left the shop happily and walked away slowly.

As we went through the market we bought some oranges and apples that we went on eating. We didn’t know how we got at the gate. The events of the day were now being forgotten. Lightness was now happier than before.

At the house we found the house girls preparing dinner. Everybody was busy to play her part. Nguiwan was watering flowers around the homestead. He was dragging pipes all-round the house. He then washed the corridors to make them whiter.

Father-in-law was at the living room where he was watching football match on the television, Single handedly. He was cheering excitedly jumping up and down sheepishly.

Darkness was now knocking in gradually. Crest fallen faced day had slumped. I felt it better to go home to my land of birth Melwa but I lacked a way to approach Lightness since she didn’t want to be left with her father. I was pleased by her happiness that touched my heart.

I felt down hearted due to the cases that followed me at home. Although I knew they called it family ties, I dismissed the feeling. I walked to her bedroom where she sat on the bed watching afro movies. I tip toed from her back making sure that she didn’t notice me.

“Come on stop it I knew that you will be coming soon…” She said turning only to notice that she saw my image on a big mirror on the wall. I dropped myself on the delicate bed where we forgot about the movie. As a part to pass time we rolled on the bed enjoying the warmth of the rabbit blankets and bed covers. 

Surely, life was at the tip here. No work I was needed to do other than eating and resting, playing was obvious and love was the challenge. I thought that education may be better than there at Gatundia Secondary where I had walk to school daily. 

Here, I was to be driven to and from school. What a good life would it be? How can I call it? Paradise? Canaan? Or Garden of Eden? I didn’t understand it elaborately. 

Food here was special and specially prepared and finally placed on the table, my work was to direct it to the food mill. Drinks were more than soft as they say. They were cool and warm nobody could even explain. 

Life resembled that of spiritual world except eating. Feeling of love was that of beginning, Adam &Eve. Time was always pregnant. A day was like a year. Surely, life is a drama only it depends on the place of acting. Let us play our part excellently.

We spent the night sleeplessly narrating stories that was part of our lives. I asked questions and she also did so… 

“…do you know that love is interesting? You didn’t dream with but you are with me. It is even not understandable. I thought of discomposing you by telling you we meet. Ever since I was brought to this world, I didn’t feel to love anybody. I used to feel something that until today I had not understood.

My anxiety became amorphous and started disconcerting my life, when my brother was promoted to glory, I used to be ambitious that one day I will get somebody who will love me madly like you. What I need is you to help me know what my brother wanted to tell me the day he died

Am curious to know the secret that lies between the feet of my background. There must be something strange that happened because I usually feels some sound calling me sometimes I usually see a lady waving at me in the darkness. I think there is a spirit that keeps on hunting me. 

Some days after we met in Nyahururu I dreamt of a raid that left my dad and mother on pools of blood. It aggravated when my mother died, I thought it was becoming real. Now am waiting to see what will happen to dad soon. If he dies I will know eventfully my dream was true .If he does not, it must have a hidden meaning.” She said sorrowfully.

Suddenly, I realized that things were turning up and down. I was feeling like floating high above my body. I could hear her sound was sinking somehow. Suddenly what followed I didn’t know. I had dizzy slept on herbed.

I woke up, feeling so tired and turned. I found myself in pajama. How did this happen? I was in deep warm blankets. I felt like I could continue sleeping. Only to discover that, I was on the bed where we were with Lightness. Where was she? I wondered.

Just then the door was pushed in. She entered smiling harmony. Her affections were compulsive at that time. Charmingly she stretched her hand to greet me. Soon I woke up although it was more than late. 

It was already eleven O’clock. The sun was so bright to be explained that it melted rocks on the white pavements.

It burnt my delicate skin ruthlessly. It is when I recalled that I had some days since I left home. I had no peace at home where am born. My will was now neglected by cucu who was becoming hostile by days. I remembered my parent’s words, ‘East or west home is the best.’

I didn’t have a specific home but floated in challenges and decisions. Could I really survive in the world of crooks?