AVOIDING RESPONSIBILITY (Avoiding #2)

Chapter 3-1

3

Present

“You know I like Ramsey, right?” Chyna asked, sighing as she fell backward onto her plush, king-sized bed. The comforter had recently been changed into a maroon and gold ensemble, with massive quantities of matching throw pillows of every size and shape imaginable covering the pillow top.

Lexi looked up from where she had been digging through her backpack and smiled. She knew exactly how Chyna felt about Ramsey. He was one of the few guys who had ever bypassed her appearance for her personality. Chyna found that type of behavior extremely appealing. If he made it a point not to be interested in her, then she could respect his devotion to Lexi. Chyna always had a weak spot for loyalty.

“Yeah, I know,” Lexi said.

“Then you also know that I think you’re an idiot.”

“Yeah, I know,” she repeated.

Chyna shot up from her place on the bed and stared down at Lexi. A broad smile had formed on her face. Lexi knew that look meant only one thing. Chyna was up to something devious. Lexi tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and waited for Chyna to let loose her revelation.

“You know what?” Chyna asked.

“Nope.”

“You could always just…not go.”

“Wow, what a revelation,” Lexi muttered sarcastically.

“Oh, come on,” Chyna cried, throwing herself back on the bed. “This is not good for you. I thought after everything that happened you wouldn’t put yourself through this all over again.”

“This isn’t like Jack,” Lexi said defensively.

No, this wasn’t like Jack at all. Jack had taken over her world, and she had forced herself to push him out bit by bit. Ramsey had forced himself in her world bit by bit and filled a void she hadn’t known existed. And she knew all too well what it felt like being with and without Jack. Ramsey was something altogether different. The emotions he elicited from her were foreign, and thus, incredibly vivid because they had never been tamed, harnessed, or numbed over years of self-torture.

So no, this was nothing like Jack.

“This is exactly like Jack,” Chyna muttered under her breath.

Lexi closed her eyes. She didn’t want to have this argument right now. Ramsey would be picking her up shortly and she didn’t need those thoughts swirling around in her mind. By allowing him to visit, she was taking a huge leap of faith, one that she wasn’t entirely comfortable with.

“Can we talk about something else?” Lexi pleaded, opening her eyes and fixing them on the computer screen in front of her. A confirmation email was highlighted at the top of the screen with information about Ramsey’s flight into JFK airport. If everything went all right, he would be landing in only twenty minutes giving her just enough time to mentally and physically prepare herself for their evening together.

“Sure,” Chyna replied, her tone snarky. “How about the fact that you still haven’t given me Mystery Man’s name yet?”

Lexi gulped hard, a tentative smile spreading across her face as she looked up at Chyna. “Why are you so desperate to know?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because you never hide anything from me. Maybe because I’ve never met him. Maybe because I have to wrestle information out of you. Do you want me to keep going?”

She flipped her feet to the other side of the bed, rested her elbows on the comforter, and leaned over to get a better look at Lexi’s reaction.

“Well it’s nothing, that’s why it doesn’t matter.”

“Or maybe it’s because it’s a huge f*****g deal and that’s why you keep it a secret,” she hypothesized.

“It’s not such a big deal,” Lexi huffed.

She wasn’t ready to tell anyone about what was going on with her Mystery Man yet. They had gone out a couple times before and, now, after the night they s*x, but she refused to tell Chyna about it. She wasn’t ready…not with Ramsey flying in to see her any minute.

“You’re such a terrible liar.”

“No, I’m not,” she cried, knowing that was a lie too.

“Yeah, you really are. So who is he? Are you going out with him again? Has he called?” Chyna blabbered on. asking questions Lexi had no intention of answering.

“I don’t want to talk about him, all right?” She shut her computer with a bit more force than she anticipated.

“Ohhh,” Chyna cooed, “someone is defensive.”

Lexi took another deep breath. “Please stop. I really do not want to think about anything while I have this…thing with Ramsey tonight.”

“Date is the opportune word, chica. Don’t think you’ll be getting away with not talking about this forever. After your…thing, I want details on Mystery Man. Please, please, please just give me a name.”

“No can do.”

“You’re so incorrigible,” Chyna cried as she followed Lexi into her closet.

“Big words,” Lexi said.

“Don’t be such a s**t. Just because I didn’t go to college doesn’t mean I wasn’t smart enough to go.”

“You don’t have to tell me twice,” Lexi said, knowing full well that Chyna was brilliant and succeeded at anything she applied herself to. The only problem was getting her to apply herself. She preferred to live a luxurious life of leisure rather than work. Not that she blamed her.

“What’s the latest endeavor?”

As Lexi perused Chyna’s closet for something to wear that evening, Lexi’s mind drifted over the experiences in the past seven years. Her memory landed on a green tourist bench. She could feel her face flushing at the image of her first time with Jack at the beach house. She licked her lips as her hand trailed over a tiny pair of skinny jeans. She knew she shouldn’t risk letting her mind travel down memory lane, but sometimes it was so difficult.

Her memory was so vivid that sometimes it was as if she were reliving her past. The feel of his skin hot against her own, breathing in the salty air with rapid inhalations, his intense blue stare reflecting the ocean. She could feel him almost as if she were in the moment.

She shook her head and tried to focus on Chyna talking about the new thing that she was interested in at the moment. Her mind couldn’t focus however, and suddenly she was swept back to a time when she was cuddled up in a familiar navy blue comforter. She could hear him whisper his affection for her and pull her closer.

She cleared her mind and blue eyes were replaced with green ones staring intently into hers on a balcony overlooking the Turner Field baseball stadium. The way he seemed to wash away the knowledge of what was going on that night. Her hair pulled high on her head and the light breeze on the back of her neck gave her goosebumps, or was it the way he was looking at her. Her breath hitched as his head tilted to meet her waiting lips.

She forcefully closed her eyes and willed her mind to stop picturing her past. Tonight was about new futures…another new future.

“Are you even listening?” Chyna asked.

“Nope,” Lexi said.

“Hopeless.”

Just as Lexi was about to retort, Chyna’s hand brushed against an article of clothing Lexi had never seen. “What was that?” she blubbered, shooting out of the chair, and reaching forward to latch on before the item disappeared into the depths of Chyna’s closet.

Lexi unhooked the hanger from the metal rod it had been resting on. Her hand rubbed gently against the silky plum material. She smiled softly to herself and wondered how she had never seen Chyna wear this before. When she flipped the dress around to closer examine the front, Lexi got her answer. A black rectangular price tag still hung from the dress. Lexi gaped at the price. She didn’t think she would ever get used to seeing price tags in the three, four, or even five digit range for one garment…especially not something to throw in the closet and never wear.

“You’ve never worn this?” Lexi asked.

A sly smile crept up on her face at Lexi’s reaction. “Do you like it?”

“Like it?” Lexi groaned. “I love it. How could you never wear this?”

“Because it doesn’t belong to me.”

“Then what’s it doing in your closet?” Lexi eyed her suspiciously.

“It belongs to you,” Chyna told her, immediately putting her hands behind her back to keep Lexi from giving it back to her.

“Really?” She pressed the material to her chest and looking at herself in the full-length mirror. Nearly dropping the dress, Lexi rushed forward and crushed Chyna with surprising force. “You’re the best.”

“You’re not going to fight me on this?” Chyna asked skeptically.

“I can’t believe you left the price tag on, but no, I’m going to keep it.”

“Finally, you’ve come to your senses.”

A short while later Lexi was all zipped into the strapless dress. The deep plum color focused attention on the curves of her breasts and hips. Her brown hair had been tamed for the night into neat loose curls down her lower back. Her side-swept bangs fell into her eyes whenever she made too sudden of a movement, but the overall effect was seductive. Light makeup completed the look with a dark shimmer gloss coating her full lips.

The time and effort put in paid off when Ramsey’s eyes lit up at the sight of her. Lexi knew him well enough to know that she could have showed up in a black trash bag, and he would have thought her beautiful. However, the shock and awe that followed her entrance proved that he fully approved of what he saw.

With a long hug, Ramsey escorted her to a waiting cab. They were dropped off at a restaurant that they had been to before and, as Lexi crossed the threshold she got a sick feeling of déjà vu. Her heart pumped wildly as they were seated at the same table, in the same place and probably ordered the same food. She wasn’t sure what about the experience was making her body kick into over drive. Something had overtaken her body and paralyzed her in place. She realized that she had been staring forward into Ramsey’s concerned face for a full minute without speaking…or really seeing.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“Oh,” she gasped. “I’m sorry. I spaced out.”

He smiled knowing that she was lying. He could always tell. “Should we have gone somewhere else?”

“No, I love this place,” she said, visibly relaxing to his words.

He hadn’t done this on purpose. He wasn’t trying to put her on edge. If anything, he had probably brought her here to make her comfortable, to keep her around the familiar. She was making something out of nothing.

Ramsey leaned forward his voice lowering compassionately. “You look like your dog just died.”

Lexi laughed. “I do not!”

“There that’s better,” he said. “Your smile lights up the room.”

Lexi smiled even bigger at the compliment. She had forgotten how much she had missed his presence in her life. A month’s time wasn’t all that long to be away from each other, but she had been attempting to block him from her life. Now, when she looked at him, everything came rushing back to her. Every second they had spent together, every laugh and smile, every tear and moment of pain. She coughed uncomfortably at the wave of emotions. She reached for the glass of wine placed before her and took a large gulp.

Yeah, alcohol was exactly what she needed.

“Whoa there,” he said seeing her discomfort, but knowing alcohol really wasn’t the answer. “We haven’t even gotten our food yet.”

She took one last swallow and placed the glass back on the table giving him a falsely apologetic smile. She had taken too many trips down memory lane today leaving her heart exposed. It wasn’t a feeling that she liked to accustom herself.

“I’m really glad you called. I wanted to so many times, but I knew you needed your time. I felt that if I stepped in too soon you’d just hate me even more. I’d understand if you did hate me more. I kind of hate me.”

Lexi smiled at his adorable habit of rambling whenever he was nervous. It was completely out of step with everything else in his personality, and thus, Lexi loved it even more. His apologies were long winded and sometimes completely incoherent. That was the way she knew that they were genuine.