Phoenix: rise from death. **COMPLETED**

#1 death

it wasn't that my death was particularly brutal or painful. no one pushed me or poisoned me. it was the nature of my betrayal that tore me apart. I lost my will to fight in that moment. there was no great moment of me sacrificing myself as the heroin and dying a tragic but heroic death. I did not fight my death I welcomed it. Even prayed to the moon Goddess that when I came back I would remember this life and what had been done to me. my eyes never left my husband's as I fell to my ultimate demise. he was my true mate. fated to me and me to him and there he was in all his naked glory just having left our bed after I caught him deep inside my best friend. only thing that bothered me was where was she? why wasn't she watching as I fell from the balcony not letting my firey eyes leave his.

I didn't feel anything as my body slammed to the marble floor. I knew the minute my body impacted because it was as though my soul had been thrown from my physical self. I could see myself laying there looking up into the eyes of my husband. my mate. my betrayer. everyone who lived in the pack house came running out to see the commotion. I watched as some screamed and everyone started swarming around my lifeless body. yet, my mate stood at the top of that balcony not moving. His beta Jacob came running to his side and I could hear every word like I was standing right next to them. "Alpha! the Luna she is dead! what happened?" Jacob was mortified. he had always been a good man. he had some sick loyalty to Christopher due to him being the alpha and a good beta was always blindly loyal.

I watched as Christopher just grunted in disdain that my death was ruining his time with my best friend. "clean up the mess. I'm busy."

"Alpha? that's Carla. why isn't she moving?" Christopher just growled at him. it was his only warning to keep his mouth shut and do what he was told. Christopher didn't like disloyalty. Jacob bowed his head and I watched him leap down the stairs two at a time to be by my side. I was curious as I watched him lean in and whisper in my ear. "please forgive me Luna. you were the only reason I ever stayed. I always loved you." this bit of information would have been nice when I was alive.

I closed my eyes saying a prayer to the moon Goddess. please let me remember all of this in my next life. let me remember every slap , every bruise and especially what he has done to Carla. moon Goddess do not make me forget any of this.

when I opened my eyes I was there next to my physical form as Beta Jacob slowly cleaned me preparing me for my send off. he was gentle and kind and I was reminded of every time he found me broken and bleeding from one of Christopher's raging fits. he would clean me up then as well. he would be gentle and kind and talk me through it. just as he was doing now. he really was a sweet man. " I pray you are loved deeply in your next life Angel. the way you should have been loved in this one. I should have done more for you and gotten you away from him." I could see tears sliding down his cheeks. " I should have done better for you. after your send off I'm leaving this pack. I only stayed for you." that's something I never realized while I was alive. "moon Goddess please give her a better life in her next one." with that last prayer my body was ready for my send off.

my funeral was a show. Carla was missing. my mate was there. as alpha it would look bad if he didn't show up. it wasn't out of love. it was all a show. I watched on as he grabbed the ass of some unmated omega. how proper of him. glad he was mourning my untimely death. Beta Jacob was there head lowered trying to hide his tear stained cheeks. everyone else just was there out of respect. it wasn't like I was allowed to bond with anyone. a few Warriors that were in charge of guarding my well being. Scott and Damien. they were nice. yet loyal to their alpha. jumping at everything he told them to do like little puppets. my body was wrapped in white. I was placed gently down on a wood altar underneath it a pile of wood to stoke the fire until my body was nothing but ashes. a proper send off for a Luna. I could have been a great Luna had Christopher let me. I still remember the day we met and realized he was my mate. I felt it right away and when our eyes met I was head over heals fully feeling the effects of the mate bond but Christopher he was upset. he didn't want it. didn't want me. I was an alphas daughter so he accepted it. I used to believe the mate bond would mean happily ever after but instead it became my prison. I was his possession. the first time I spoke out he hit me so hard he broke my nose.

there I was eighteen years old and mated to biggest abusive asshole there was. one more prayer before I go. moon Goddess please do not let me forget anything he ever did. let me remember this life. don't take away who I am.

I watched as Beta Jacob grabbed a torch and lit the pile of wood on fire. Every person shifted into their wolf form howling at the moon in agony. their Luna was dead. I was dead. the flames grew larger licking the cloth wrapped around my body. then the fire consumed me. I saw Christopher walk away not even bothering to stay until the end. I will remember everything in my next life my love.

Beta Jacob fell to his knees as greif took over his body. what would it have been like to kiss those lips instead of Christopher's? would things have been different if I had been destined to be his instead? all those nights he helped me. broken bones and bruises and the branding. that was just to make sure I knew who I belonged too. silver doesn't heal. moon Goddess don't let that heal. let me take it with me. I need it to remind me of who I am. that night was very vivid in my mind as I watched the fire dance around my body reducing me to nothing but ashes. he used silver to make it permanent. branding his name on my side. I remember screaming out in agony begging for anyone to help me. yet, no one ever came to help me. no one ever stopped that asshole. he did what he wanted. everyone feared him and those who didn't vanished. never to be seen again. I felt my side where his name rested. I could still feel it there.

the sun was coming up over the horizon. the fire had finally simmered down. there was nothing left but ashes. I was now nothing but ashes. I was still here though. still watching. in the distance I saw someone. A figure that moved closer. Beta Jacob still sat on the ground staring at my pile of ashes. Carla. he didn't even look up at her. he spoke softly. "I know he drugged you. I know she saw you in his bed but she didn't know he drugged you to get you there. you didn't betray her. he did." his voice was bitter at the end. Christopher had drugged her. she didn't betray me. I fell off that balcony thinking my best friend hurt me. only it wasn't her. not by choice.

"I will never forgive myself for what happened. she was my sister. I would never have done that to her. I need to get away from him. I need out of this pack. I'm afraid if I don't he will try and claim me as his and do the same to me as he did to her. he is evil Jacob. purely evil." I watched as she sat next to him crying for so many reasons. the loss and pain. so much anger coursed through me in that moment. it was then a breeze picked up rustling the trees along the clearing where my ashes now rested. my ashes blew away like a fine dust as Jacob and Carla looked on. in my ashes I saw it. just for a brief moment before it was gone. a bird made from my ashes rising like a Phoenix. I felt a tingling sensation across my skin and slowly I began to fade away. moon Goddess let me rise from the ashes like the Phoenix.

then I decended from Earth rising into the morning sky leaving everyone I ever loved behind.