Finding Avie's body

Chapter 8

When Mama Catleya disappeared I realized that I wanna go back to the incident site kaya napag desisyonan ko na bumalik para magtingin ng posibleng clues para malaman ko kung ano ba talaga ang nangyari.

But I didn’t know how to get there. Kaya I just closed my eyes and think kung paano ba ako makakapunta sa lugar ng aksidente. Surprisngly, when I opened my eyes I was already here as in this area where the incident actually happened, the burned car was just a  few meters away from me.

Paano ko yun nagawa? Super powers ba yon ng mga kaluluwa? It was like I was able to do teleportation. Napaka weird yet it was so real!

I was lost in my thoughts when I saw a very familiar silhouette…

It was already sunset and there are no more police here in the incident area, no one was here except for me and this man.

Although he is not facing me, since he was actually looking at the burned car, I think I know him, I don’t wanna hope because I don’t want my already burned and trampled heart to be also be broken more into pieces. I don’t really think that he’d actually be here.

Maybe this is just my imagination, dala siguro ng pagod at stress. Sa sobrang dami ng pinag dadaanan ko ngayon kung ano ano na ang nakikita ko.

“Kiesha…” that voice…

I tried so hard not to look at him. Because I don’t want to, I cannot bear another heartbreak at this moment. I’m sure that I’ll be really really disappointed.

“Kiesha it’s me. Come on look at me”

I tried so hard to look at him because I know that he will not be able to see me but what the hell?

Did he just said that look at him?

I couldn’t help but frown and look at him. When I looked at him his hawk like eyes directly met mine. I didn’t really know what to say.

Actually hindi ko alam kung ano yung dapat kong sabihin dahil hindi ko alam kung bakit nandito pa sya, kung ano yung ginagawa nya dito.

“Kiesha I really thought wala kana, akala ko talaga totoo yung balita” He seriously told me while trying to hold my hand.

But sadly, nung hahawakan nya na yung kamay ko, parang hangin lang yun na tinagusan ng kamay nya. He froze maybe because of shock, or what ever.

“Now you know that the news is really true.” I smiled sadly at him.

He looked at me as if telling me that this isn’t true.

“What happened? Anong nangyari Kiesha? Kung wala ka na talaga bakit nakikita kita? Nag hahallucinate ba ako?” Drake slapped himself a little maybe trying to make sure that this isn’t a dream.

“Hindi ka nag hahallucinate, actually even ako hindi ko alam kung ano yung nangyari. I just rode the car that night with Mang Ernesto… We were on our way to the airport when our car suddenly bumped into something and then I lost my consciousness. When I woke up I was already here. I saw dad talking with the police and saw my burned car. And no one was able to see me except for you and for Mama Eya.” I told him while looking intently at my burned car.

“Hindi ko maintindihan ang nangyayari Kiesha, so you are telling me that you are actually dead?! For real?!” He couldn’t help but shout at me.

“ I am not. I believe that I am not yet dead. But I guess soon, I will be.” I sighed tirelessly while I sat down the chair near me.

“This is not f*****g happening Kiesha. No. You tell me this is all just a dream. Will you f*****g slap me?” He was now angry. Namumula na sya sag alit.

This is the Drake I know, the impulsive caring Drake. My Drake.

No. erase. He is totally not my Drake anymore.

Please heart! Wag ka na ngayon lumandi, kailangan kong unahin na mahanap ang katawan ko. Baka mamaya masaktan ka nanaman hindi mo nanaman kayanin, hindi mo afford maging double dead ngayon! Please lang!!!!!!!!

“ Drake ano ba ang ginagawa mo dito ha? Akala ko ba nasa ibang bans aka? Nasa ibang bansa kayo?” I impatiently ask him.

“Sapalagay mo pag narinig ko yung balita na naaksidente ka hindi ako uuwi? Lalo pa yung balita na namatay ka dahil sa aksidente na yon? What the f**k? Is that what are bestfriends for? Is that what you take me for? Really? After all these years?” He told me as if he was accusing me of doubting him.

Yeah that’s what are friends for.

 “Yeah yeah. Alam ko. Its just that I thought you guys are busy for your upcoming wedding” I half heartedly answered to him.

OO IKAKASAL NATONG DUMB-ASS NATO. KAYA NGA DIBA BINABAWALAN KO NA YUNG MALANDI KONG PUSO? KUNG KELAN AKO NAGING KALULUWA SAKA AKO MAS NAGIGING MARUPOK HAY NAKO.

“Kiesh you know that if its you, I’d travel hell just to get you right? You know that you’re very important to me. Very very important Kiesh. We need to figure this out. We will figure this out.” He said trying to convince me that we can work this situation out.

I was thinking about what my Mama Catleya told me before she disappears. Sabi nya sakin someone will help me, someone will come along and he will find me. I just have to let my heart win this time, I have to follow it. Is it Drake?

Could it be Drake?

Pero pano…

Paano ko naman maatim na guluhin nanaman yung buhay ng tao na sinira ko na noon at nagging maayos na ngayon. I don’t think kaya ko nanaman gawin ulit yun sa kanya.

Pag pumasok nanaman ako sa buhay ni Drake makakagulo nanaman ako sa kanya.

Sa kanila.

“Drake I can figure this out on my own. I can do this all alone. You don’t have to be involved with this. With me. I can do this.” I told him.

 Kahit pa alam ko na kailangan ko yung tulong ni Drake at may posibilidad na sya lang yung taong makatulong sakin, hindi ko na kayang guluhin pa ulit yung buhay nya para lang mabuo yung sa akin.

“Avrielle Akiesha I am not doing this just for you or for myself. I am doing this also for Alana. I know that she loves you, and she can’t really lose you.”

I knew it. It was really for her. For Alana, my sister.

I closed my eyes and the past suddenly flashed bask to my mind…

“wag naman ganito Kiesha, let’s talk this out. Wag mo naman akong talikuran. I was just hurt. I was disappointed. I was tired of waiting for 8 long hours for you. Its our anniversary and you promised me. Nangako ka sakin na dadating ka. It was just a simple mistake Kiesh. We were both drunk. Alana was heart broken because Nate cheated on her. What happened.. what you saw is just a mistake. Please love… Please listen to me.”

I came from a 12 hours travel from Dubai to Philippines and this is what I saw, at the day of our anniversary. At the day when I wanted to give up everything for us. For our relationship. For you. I just couldn’t take it.

“Drake please leave. Leave me alone.” I avoided his pleading eyes.

Hindi ko talaga kaya. Hindi ko sya kayang tignan ngayon.

“Kiesh please, I don’t wanna go, let’s figure this out together alright? We’ll figure this out together like we always do. Right?” His eyes are starting to get watery…

I can’t take this. I really can’t. Maybe Dad was right, I couldn’t have Drake because I have nothing to offer him but my broken and worthless self. I was asked if I was all for this relationship, if I was willing to go through all the pain and I said yes because I really thought that I can. Maybe this is the way universe wanted to show me that we are not really meant for each other.

“Drake stop. Please stop. I cannot forgive you. I hope you know that my flight was cancelled, there was a trouble with the plane that I booked, I had to go through all the trouble just so I can go home for our anniversary. I was so excited to see you. I was so excited to tell you that finally, after all your rejected proposals I am now ready. I was willing to give up everything for us, because I really believe that we are worth it. You are worth it.” Tears started rolling down my face like I crying a river.

“Drake I was so ready, I was ready to tell my Dad that I will leave the company for real and start my new life with you. I want to have a future and family with you. But what is this Drake? What the f**k is this?!” Galit na galit na sigaw ko sa kanya. I couldn’t help but slap him.

Galit ako.

Galit nag alit ako.

Galit ako sa kanya.

Sa kanila ng kapatid kong si Alana.

“ Kiesh please listen to me this is nothing okay, please Kiesh this is just a hurricane, remember we over come all the storms together right? We will also overcome this. Together Kiesh. We can do this.”

Drake kept on begging for my forgiveness. Until months turned to years and then eventuallymaybe he realized that I was not worth all his efforts. Nabalitaan ko nalang na engaged na sila ng kapatid ko…

Napabalik nalang ako sa kasalukuyan nung  tinawag ako ni Drake.

“No Drake, I will do this alone. Ill figure this out on my own. You don’t have to worry yourself with my own business, You have yours to take care with, you don’t have to carry mine.” I sadly answered to him.

Drake and I have been friends since we were 16. He courted me for four years and then we had a three years relationship that just gone into waste.

Sometimes napapaisip ako, what if I gave Drake another chance will I be happy? Kami kaya ang dapat na ikakasal kung nagpatawad ako? But whenever I see him on the news with Alana I couldn’t help but tell myself that it was a good decision. He looked happier than ever. He looked happier with her than with me.

“Kiesha I know, wala akong karapatan na panghimasukan yung buhay mo ngayon. But I couldn’t just leave you alone like this. Hindi kaya ng konsensya ko, at ng sikmura ko na pabayaan ka sa ganitong sitwasyon. You are the one who build me Kiesh, you are the reason for the man that I am today. Please just this once pabayaan mo ako na tulungan ka please let me do my part not as an ex lover but as a friend. I believe I was the only one who can see you right?”

Punong puno ng determinasyon si Drake na tulungan ako sa problema ko. Tama naman sya, na sya lang talaga ang nakaka kita sa akin so wala din naman akong choice kung hindi tanggapin yung tulong na ini-ooffer nya.

It’s just that I was actually thinking about Alana.

Paano pag nalaman nya? Will it be okay for her?

I have so many things in my mind going on right now. I don’t want to be selfish but I really need his help.

“How about Alana? Will this be okay for her?” I asked him straightly, ayoko naman na makagulo sa relasyon at buhay nila.  I know na nag-sstart na silang gumawa ng future together. I don’t wanna ruin that. I wasn’t that low and bitter.

I know how to accept defeat.

“Alana wouldn’t know and she doesn’t have to know. This is just between the two of us. I know that you need my help and I am very much willing to help you, but this time I need you to trust me Kiesh. I need your full trust on this one.” He seed while intently looking into my eyes.

“I’ll probably have trouble with that one but I will try with the best that I can, to trust you. Again” I smiled whole heartedly.

 “That’s good enough for me Kiesh, at least now you are willing to try. Now tell me what do I need to do to help you?” He sincerely asked.

I sighed and breathe really deep.

“Wee need to find my body. Sabi sakin ni Mama Catleya na kailangan kong makita at makabalik sa katawan ko sa loob ng tatlong buwan bago sumikat yung susunod na bilog na buwan.”  I sadly told him.

Napasuntok si Drake sa sasakyan nya dahilan para mayupi ito. I knew it this is going to be really really hard,  three months to find a missing body? Funny yung ibang cases nga dito sa pilipinas taon ang binibilang makita lang yung katawan ng namatay tapos ako kailangan within 3 months? That’s hella hard!

He keeps on punching his car. Urghh this estupido!

Really really impulsive and impatient Drake.

“Ano ba? Tutulungan mo ba ako o sasaktan mo lang yung sarilio mo jan?” Naiiritang sabi ko sa kanya.

Kasi naman alam naman nya na ayoko nung ugali nya na pag naiinis sya susuntok nalang sya basta sa kung saan. Gaya ngayon dumudugo na yung kamao nya dahil sa pagsuntok nya sa kotse nya.

“ Bakit ba kasi ngayon lang ako bumalik?”  He asked himself while he was crying… He looked at me with those sad but determined eyes.

Hindi ko din alam Drake…

Bakit nga ba ngayon ka lang bumalik?

At bakit ba bumalik kapa?

At bakit  ba naman parang pinaglalaruan ako ng tadhana? You are actually at the most bottom of my list of the people that could probably help me. Fate must be making fun of me.

Lalo lang nagugulo yung mundo at puso ko. Kaluluwa na ako at lahat pero yung puso ko sumasakit pa din dahil sayo.