Transition

Chapter 3

“So acting out this cross gender role was sexually exciting for you?”

“Oh yes. On one hand I hated what was happening but on the other hand it seemed like some of this behavior was innate, natural for me.”

“Would you say that she was in control?”

“My God, yes. I was becoming a victim. I knew it, but the s*x was incredible and I wanted her so much, I did whatever she said. It was addictive and I was hooked. But I could also step back when we weren’t together and see how this was taking over my life.”

“Becoming an obsession?”

“Yes. Probably true. One night I got to her apartment late and she was pissed. I mean really mad at me for being late. She made me undress in front of her. Then she tied me to the overhead rings set in the ceiling and gagged me with a very severe p***s gag, all the while telling me that I was a bad b***h and that I was going to be sorry.”

“Did you object?”

“With the gag in, all I could do was whine and she didn’t like that. She got this thing out of the special cabinet where she kept s*x toys. It was sort of a tiny cage, and she put it on my s*x, stuffing my c**k and balls in very tightly and locking it, then putting a chain around my waist and connecting a short chain from the cage to the waist chain, front and back. It pulled my whole package back between my legs and made my front a lot flatter, but it hurt a lot.”

“Did you have safe words at this point?”

“Yes, but she ignored me and left it on me. She kept me tied that way for a few hours, then cut me down, cuffed my hands behind my back and said we weren’t going to have s*x any more until I learned to behave.”

“So the cage thing stayed on? I imagine it was painful.”

“Yes, and yes, it was. She took it off in the morning, but said I would wear it, or something like it, most of the time from then on.”

“Something like it?”

“She had ordered these other things specially made for me and she showed me other drawings of gadgets that were still being made. They were all designed, she said, to flatten out my front look and to make me realize that my c**k and balls were no longer mine. That they were hers to use as she pleased.”

“What was your reaction to that?”

“I guess I was under her spell. I was slowly becoming (and I didn’t like the words) her female s*x slave.”

“Don, we’re out of time for today, but I think we made significant progress today and want to pick this discussion up again next week, okay?”

“Sure. I’ll see you next week.”

Marilyn

A week later, back on the shrink’s couch once again, Don was encouraged to continue the discussion about his relationship with Marilyn.

“You were saying last week that you were confused about what was happening and that you felt like she was turning you into her personal s*x slave, but as a woman, not as a man. We also established that your dream was not fantasy, but actual recall from the experience you had with Marilyn and her friends. Is that about right,” Marti began.

“Yes,” Don responded quickly.

“But you kept going back for more,” said Marti, reading her notes.

“Yes, but I had to. She held the keys to the various confinement items.”

“You mean the cage on your s*x?”

“Yes.”

“And you were wearing it all the time?”

“Well no, not all the time, but ninety percent. At night, if she was in the mood, she’d free me and we’d f**k like rabbits. In the morning, after shave and shower, she would put these things back on me. The new ones were more complex and I had to sit down to pee. I complained that I would like to be able to do the same thing to her now and then.”

“What was her reaction to that?”

“She said that there were a couple of things that she had already ordered for herself and when they came she’d consider allowing me to use them on her.”

“Did she keep that promise?”

“Oh yes, and she soon got the devices in the mail and when I went to her place the next night she had them all laid out on the table for me to see. Some of them were incredibly complex. Really diabolical. And she couldn’t wait to try them.”

“And?” Marti asked.

Don paused and Marti watched him, waiting for the next part of the story.

“One was a thin leather panty with double dildoes that went into her ass and cunt. It was very tight and nothing showed once she put it on. She said she wore it to work but couldn’t concentrate.”

“That’s understandable.”

“Yeah. And by that time,” Don finally said, “she was making me shave my legs, armpits and chest too. She said that my smooth skin made her hot. So we made a deal that she would wear one of the s*x controllers (that’s what she called them) and I would have to wear mine. That was the deal.”

“This was all still in private, wasn’t it?”

“Until then, yes, it was,” said Don. “But it was becoming more and more intense and I had less and less to say about what was being done and what she did to me.”

“Did you feel manipulated, controlled?” Marti asked.

“Yes, but I was also beginning to think that this was real love. Since I hadn’t felt like this with anyone else before and it was so strong, so totally part of my life, I was thinking that this was it. This was how it was supposed to be.”

“Looking at it now, was that logical?”

“Well, yes, considering my views on female sexuality and society, it seemed logical.”

“I’m not sure I understand, Don. Can you explain that a bit more?”

“What I mean was that it was logical because I had never been in love before and I already was certain that women manipulate and control the men in our society anyway, so now I was part of that and it seemed to make sense.”

“How far did this go?”

“You mean what would I accept in terms of control?”

“Yes, that’s one way to look at it.”

“I was totally into it. For example, one night she took me to a party downtown, dressed as her sister, which was what she told people.”

“How did that go?”

“It was another step in the direction of converting me from boy to girl. We agreed that we’d go as twins, which was kind of exciting, especially since I had not been out in public in full dress before.”

“This was your first venture out?”

“Yes and Marilyn assured me that if we did it right, no one would even suspect I was a guy.”

“Did you accept that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you agree that you were going to be acceptable to outsiders as a woman?”

“Not really.”

“What changed your mind?”

“When we were getting ready and she was doing my make-up, she showed me a new set of breast forms that were extremely realistic. Even without a bra on, these were very real to me.”

“How did they work?”

“These were filled with a soft gel, probably silicone, but the exterior was more like skin and it wasn’t two separate forms but rather a sort of skimpy bra that went around my chest and over my shoulders. There was a sort of adhesive on the inside of the entire thing and when she peeled the cover tape off, the material clung and fit like skin. The exterior fabric, being so thin, was nearly invisible. Marilyn had me sit in front of her mirror and she smoothed the whole thing out and made sure it had no wrinkles. The forms had realistic weight and when I moved they moved too, so it was very sensual. She finished it off with some make-up on the n*****s and between my own breasts, adding some shadow, so it looked like the real thing. Once she put the lacy bra on, the entire package was, well, ninety-five percent authentic. I admit I was entranced.”

“Sounds like it. What else?”

“She wanted me to put the handcuffs on her and I didn’t want to do that. She then said that she would put them on me and lead me around the party as her female s*x slave, but I drew the line there.”

“Did she except your position?”

“Yes. We both put on corsets and dressed in short black skirts, fitted white shirts, black hose and black patent leather shoes with really high heels. I had a hard time with the shoes.”

“Were you both sexually confined?”

“Yes. She had another one of her new metal devices, sort of like a chromed metal clamp with twin dildoes that went up her ass and cunt and locked in place with a key. She said that soon I would have something similar to wear. I got to wear the key around my neck. But, for that time, as a compatible element, I had to wear a flat metal cage that confined my c**k and balls, pulled them between my legs and connected to a thick dildoe probe up my ass. This was held in place with the very fine chains around my waist, down through my crotch and up my ass crack in the back. It didn’t show with the clothes I was wearing, especially with the very tight control top pantyhose and a corset with the tight band that went through my crotch over the controllers. This was uncomfortable as hell. It kept me from putting my legs close together, but I wore it. I had on a new pair of knee high boots with high heels and I was uncomfortable from the whole outfit. When I sat, it was impossible to keep my knees together or to cross my legs. It really hurt when I started to get hard, which was damned near impossible.”

“So you went to a party. Did you pass as a girl?”

“I passed, I guess. If you can imagine me with all this stuff on under the outfit and unable to cross my legs, tottering on the high heels and worried that someone was going to say something about my looking weird. I certainly enjoyed the clothes and wearing them. No one said a thing and the women at the party were very, very interested. They said I looked great and kept feeling me up, pinching my ass and trying to figure out what the stuff was under my short skirt. They got me pretty drunk, I guess, but Marilyn took care of me, got us a cab and we went back to her place.”

“So you passed for a woman?”

“Well, maybe yes and maybe no. Two of her girl friends followed us. I am sure she invited them. They got to the apartment and started taking their clothes off and said that we were going to do a Triple F.”

“Triple F?”

“Fuckin’ female foursome.”

“So you passed as a woman?” Marti asked once again.

“I don’t think so. I think in hindsight that it was a set-up.”

“Well, how far did this triple F thing go?”

“Oh, it went all the way and ran into the next day, which was Sunday. There were no boundaries.”

“What was their reaction when they found out you were not a woman?”

“Happy as Hell, from what I could tell. I ended up having s*x with all three of them, sooner or later. The cuffs and collars and leashes came out and we tied up the girls, one after the other and everyone had s*x with them, front and back, while they were chained to the bed or to the ceiling.”

“Do you consider that aberrant s*x?”

“What?”

“Do you think that the event was outside of normal s****l relations among consenting adults?”

“I…I’m not sure. I hadn’t done this before. They seemed perfectly happy that I was dressed as a girl and they played with me as though I was just one of them and happened to have a real prick instead of the fake ones they were wearing.”

“So everyone was involved. You all had s*x?”

“Yes. Very hot.”

“Were you high or taking drugs?”

“I wasn’t. I can’t say for the others, but Marilyn isn’t into any kind of drugs as far as I know.”

“Alcohol?”

“Yeah, sure. Shooters and champagne and whatever else was around.”

“Were you sodomized by one or more of these women?”

“Huh?”

“Did they have anal s*x with you?”

“Yeah. Yes. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The first time she put that strap-on up my ass I thought I’d die, but it wasn’t any worse than the dog tail dildo and at least this way it had a beautiful woman on the other end, driving it into my butt. Besides, there were all sorts of combinations going on and it seemed like I was the catalyst for much of it.”