Luna and her Alpha mate

02 ~ Recurring dreams

Luna gasps as she wakes up to the sound of a passing ambulance nearby.

Damn, that dream again… the one that always feels so real.

Every time she has that dream, Gaea feels the heartbreak over and over again and it’s the same this time… even though the dream was cut short when she was awakened by the sudden noise on the street.

She looks at the clock and groans. Not even three o’clock in the morning. She has an early start tomorrow and this nuisance of a dream is going to ruin her sleep again.

She goes to the kitchen for a glass of water before going back to bed, and to relief, falls asleep easily.

Unfortunately, for some reason she cannot fathom, the dream continued, right where it was so rudely interrupted and she sighs in resignation as she watches the familiar scene unfold from up close, like an invisible phantom witnessing a tragedy, girding herself for the part she hates above all else.

The one that truly shatters her soul every… single… time.

***

“Stay away from me!”

The water god rose to the surface of the sea, deeply hurting but unable to ignore the anguish radiating from his fated mate. He found Gaea bent over on the sandy shore, distressed and sobbing uncontrollably, and so, putting aside his own feelings because of what he had previously witnessed, he walked towards her to gather her in his arms.

“...I never want to see you ever again!” She cursed the sky god.

Oceanus instinctively glanced at him to see his reaction, just in time to see the sky god Ouranos step back as if physically struck and suddenly he just…vanished.

Oceanus looked back at Gaea, frowning with worry. “Can you stand?”

She continued to weep brokenly. “I am so sorry… I didn’t know… I swear… I thought it was you…” She kept desperately scratching her skin, which was now turning reddish, as she drew blo0d with her nails.

He sighed and lifted her in his arms. He carried her to the water, slowly submerging their bodies and she seemed to relax as soon as she felt the sea embrace her, as if immediately feeling better.

He took her lips as he brought her deeper into the water, and she clung to him.

“Oceanus… please, believe me…”

He didn’t answer and simply nodded. They stayed under the water for several minutes, both of them healing, both needing each other’s quiet presence to calm the other’s inner storm. After a little while more, Oceanus decided to carry her back ashore.

He carried her back to the beach and into the forest and she trembled as the cold wind blew harshly so Oceanus embraced her tighter, trying to share his warmth.

The earth goddess lived in a beautiful tree house deep in the woods and he brought her there so she could be more comfortable. She fell asleep on the way there, burrowing herself deeper in his embrace. He chose to walk instead of shifting, needing to keep her close to him, just for a little bit longer.

They finally reached the giant tree that had roots and leafy branches that stretched for miles.

“Gaea, we’re home.” He whispered, gently shaking her.

She opened her eyes, looking around confused, before staring at him with sleepy eyes that quickly widened as memories flooded her mind.

He wanted to smile reassuringly but somehow he couldn’t quite manage to produce anything that even comes close so he merely sighed. “You need to rest…we’ll talk about it as soon as you’re feeling better.” he said quietly, desperate to be by himself for a moment, to process his own feelings.

She watched him with uncertainty. “Are you… are you really Oceanus? Is it really you this time?”

He gritted his teeth, swallowing the pain as the memory of her with the sky god flashed in his mind again. “Can’t you tell?” he asked, unable to hide the bitterness in his voice.

He really needed to go and calm down.

She trembled at the barely-controlled anger in his voice. “I… I don’t know…I…I really thought it was you…back at the…” Tears fell from her eyes again and she shook her head. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear… I wouldn’t have let him touch me if I’d known who he really was… I would never betray you, Oceanus—”

He sighed, reining in his emotions, kissing her gently on the forehead and she closed her eyes, relief spreading on her beautiful face. “I know, Gaea. Please, try to calm down. This cannot be good for the child. Tell the tree to let us in so you can rest.”

She tightened her grip on him, panicking at the thought of him leaving, terrified that she still wouldn't know the difference, should Ouranos come back again with the same trick. “Stay with me… don't leave!”

“Gaea… I need some time to calm myself.”

She held onto him tighter. “He might come back! I don’t want you to leave! Please!”

Oceanus needed to confront Ouranos too. He didn’t know what he was going to say or do but he couldn’t just let this pass. Gaea might have been his before but she was fated to Oceanus and the sky god disrespected them both, violating their trust and seeking to drive a wedge between him and Gaea.

“Please don’t go… I need you…”

He wanted to retort that she hardly had the right to demand such a thing from him after what he had witnessed, but he bit back his bitter words.

It wasn’t her fault. He had to remind himself of that. She was a victim as well, taken by someone else without her knowledge and real consent.

He nodded and Gaea whispered to the tree to let them in. The tree’s branches moved, one of them bending low to give them a lift. It brought them to the top where there was a hallowed part of the trunk. The earth goddess touched the wooden wall and it opened, allowing them to enter a comfortable little nest that Gaea had created for herself.

It was a spacious room filled with different kinds of nests for every kind of land creature that she might find and needed a place to stay. As of that moment, the place was thankfully empty, and Oceanus carried her to her bed, made of dried leaves and beautifully woven silky webs.

“Stay. Please.” She begged again. “I need you now, more than ever.”

He nodded and laid down on the bed with her. She wrapped her arms around him and he sighed, pulling her closer.

“I know that you are hurting too, Oceanus. I understand and believe it or not, I even share that pain.” She murmured. “I feel soiled… I feel dirty inside somehow… and I don’t know if the feeling will ever go away… It feels like… like I don’t deserve you anymore…” She whispered.

“Look at me, Gaea…”

She shook her head. “It was different before… there was no bond between us when I accepted his seed before the fated bonds... But now it feels like I somehow betrayed you…”

“Gaea…”

“I want you to know, I will never willingly do that! Our bond is sacred to me! You’re the one I love now. You are my present and my future.”

He was quiet for some time before he muttered. “Perhaps you only feel that way because of the bond…”

She sat up, her face flushed with emotion. “How can you say that!?”

He shrugged. “It was easy to see that you still have feelings for him. It didn’t take much for him to claim you again. Perhaps the desires of the heart are stronger than the fated bond.” He was hurting and it was spilling out, one bitter, poisonous drop at a time.

“No! Did you not hear what I said!? I love YOU!”

He regarded her with sad eyes. “But you love him too.”

“I have made my choice, Oceanus! You are the one I chose to be with! You told me my past didn’t matter!”

He stood up. “And it didn’t… because I thought our bond was unbreakable. And yet while I felt the pain of the bond being defiled, you didn’t even realize it wasn’t me in front of you. You said you loved me…for the very first time you uttered those words while it was him spending himself inside you. Could it be perhaps because it was always him you loved and still love all along?”

Gaea stood up as well, frustrated and wounded by his words. “You do not trust my feelings for you?”

“I DO NOT TRUST THE FATED BOND ANYMORE!” he exploded. “HOW CAN I WHEN IT IS OBVIOUS THAT SOMETHING ELSE IS SO MUCH STRONGER!?”

“LISTEN TO ME!” She shouted back.

He turned to look at her. She stared back at him, her eyes filled with tears, both of anger and pain.

“I love you.” She whispered. “I chose you as my fated mate because I know you will never hurt me. That you will nurture our love and create life with me… but you’re hurting me now…"

“Gaea…”

"I didn't ask for this, Oceanus. I thought it was you…I really thought it was you…" she sobbed brokenly. "I know you're hurting right now…but so am I…and I don't even understand why I have to apologize when all I did was believe I was making love to the man I love… to my mate..."

Oceanus was breathing heavily, his control about to slip. He wanted to smash, destroy…hurt something or someone. This is why he wanted to be alone for a while, to unleash all the negative emotions inside him…instead of lashing at the woman he loves.

Why couldn't she let him just leave so he could figure things out without irrevocably damaging their bond with words laced with all the pain inside him!?

It’s too soon to talk about it. Too soon for him, at least. He just couldn’t get past the image yet, seared on his mind and still burning, of the pure pleasure on her face as she reached her peak with someone else. He needed time to calm down, to sort his thoughts and his emotions alone and she just wouldn’t give it to him!

“...because it was your face I saw… your voice I heard… your touch I felt… even the scent of the ocean was with me all that time… I was thinking about you the whole time, he didn’t even cross my mind! And you’re punishing me for it?”

“What do you want from me, Gaea!?” He snapped.

“Love me! Claim what has always been yours all along! Make me feel clean again… give me something pure and honorable, because I feel sullied and violated and only you can heal me…only you can make things right…”

He stared at her with disbelief. “You cannot ask this of me right now… Not when his seed is still fresh inside you…” He spat.

Gaea looked like he had just slapped her on the face with his refusal. “You… you find me disgusting…”

He shook his head, frustration building up again. “No! It is him I find repulsive and it turns my stomach to think of— Oh blo0dy—I told you I need some time alone…I need space… I need—”

Gaea drops to her knees, staring with empty eyes at the wall. “Go… leave me…”

“Gaea—”

“Leave! Before you destroy me… even more than he ever did.”