MOAB

Chapter 1: Galene - Brain operating @ 0.6 times normal human speed

Chapter 1: Galene - Brain operating @ 0.6 times normal human speed

“So you did spill coffee on the keyboard?” Galene asked calmly.

“Well, yes,” the employee mumbled, rubbing his neck.

“Okay. But you called IT for a computer error,” she noted.

“Sure. Yeah.”

“So, the computer errored out when you spilt coffee on it. This particular coffee, to be exact,” she pointed at the cup. It was half-full of nice, sticky, electronic-destroying cream and sugar.

The employee nodded slowly.

“You couldn’t just say so on the support ticket regarding the coffee and save me a trip?” she said levelly.

“Well, I didn’t. It’s not like you guys at IT have much to do, anyway. This is a technology firm,” the employee said, shifting his tone to sarcastic.

“Of course. We only process 300 tickets each day,” she nodded. The whole time, her fitness tracker hadn’t registered a single uptick in her heart rate. To someone interpreting the data, she might as well be lounging on a comfy sofa.

The employee scoffed.

“I’ll just get you a replacement keyboard,” Galene said, clicking her tongue. She pulled the cord and took the keyboard, making sure the coffee dripped away from her jeans.

“Yes,” the employee said, clapping his hands together. “Please do, but hurry. I have so many emails to send before I can leave for the day.”

She nodded. “Awesome. Be back shortly,” she said, shuffling away.

Galene took the service elevator downstairs. She opened the spare parts warehouse with her keycard and threw the destroyed, sticky keyboard into the recycling bin. She grabbed a new keyboard and typed in her comment on the support ticket.

‘Keyboard malfunction, replaced. Support ticket closed.’

Then she went to the bathroom, sat on the toilet, and ate her lunch sandwich. Alone. She made sure plenty of crumbs ended up between the keyboard buttons, since she used it as a plate. She even read a few pages of Asimov’s Foundation, a classic science fiction book she never seemed to find the time to finish.

She’d get him his keyboard eventually.

Five more seconds.

Four.

Sigh.

One-point-three?

Aaand it’s five o’clock! Time to clock out, bitches!

Galene stood up, threw her laptop bag over her shoulder and skidded towards the door.

“Not so fast,” her boss said from across the IT room.

“What? No, mister, I’m officially off for today. Check the time,” she whined.

Her boss frowned. “I know. But I’ve got a last-minute request, and it’s top priority,” he said, swiping his tablet with meaning.

She grabbed a toy space g*n from a desk and threatened him with futuristic destruction in the form of foam projectiles. “Don’t. Move. A finger,” she said with all the menace a flimsy short girl can muster.

He squinted hard at her. She dared him. She double dared him. He tapped.

Galene’s laptop glinged inside the bag. She sighed and opened it to read the ticket she knew had just been assigned to her. It was in the system now. Timestamped and stuff. There was no escaping it.

“Top floor? Come on! Couldn’t you send me at something on my way out of here, at least?” she complained.

“It is what it is,” her boss said and sipped his coffee triumphantly.

She scrolled with the touchpad, resting the laptop on the bend of her outstretched arm. “I don’t even know this set-up, isn’t that George’s area?”

Her boss looked around theatrically. “Do you see any Georgies around?”

“No,” she mocked.

“Look,” her boss sighed. “Help me, help you. Do this high-priority ticket now and I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. I’ll swap you around and you won’t have to see that a*s-grabber on floor 31.”

Galene squinted. “Fine,” she spat out. “But the swap better be permanent, or we’re gonna be having coffee at HR tomorrow.” She pointed the space g*n at him to underline her point.

“Hey. I’m on your side, Gal! But s**t has to get done around here,” her boss pleaded.

“I’m gonna get s**t done,” Galene sighed and shuffled towards the door.

“Thank you! You’re the best employee ever,” her boss yelled after her. “And please get up there before dark, it’s kinda urgent.”

Galene stopped her momentum by resting her forehead on the elevator door. She shut her eyes. “Yes, boss.”

She took her time, hovering her finger over the button. Nobody could take that away from her, those precious seconds of calm before climbing up the floors to a ticket. The IT department of Hermes Information Technology was located at the sub-basement of the skyscraper. It was nice and chilly and quiet. Compared to the chaos upstairs, it felt like an oasis. You couldn’t swear when on a ticket. You had to be proper and professional. You had to shut up and smile when a hotshot asshole made an inappropriate remark about your body. That’s why Galene wore jeans and sweatshirts two sizes too big, to cut down on the cat-calls. Otherwise, it wasn’t that hard, the IT job itself. Any computer geek could get up to speed in a single week and start ticketing away like a veteran. Every geek had torn down and built up his own computer before he even knew what the opposite s*x was. But it required a certain amount of calm, which Galene had ample of. It required calmness, when some i***t manager thought he could treat you like s**t because his economic quarter was down. When shareholders couldn’t wait five minutes for the slideshow presentation to be set up. When employees forgot their passwords and had to be reset for the zillionth time.

Galene could weather all of that.

She opened her droopy eyes and pressed the elevator button.

It chimed instantly. The doors opened. The elevator was waiting for her. Anticipating.

Sigh.

Sometimes, working in a building with 7 different predictive AIs in it, really-really sucked.