14. Wounded
2090 Words
Damien POV
(If you want to set the mood listen to "When you're gone" by Avril Lavigne during this chapter.)
She keeps ignoring us no matter what we do, and we need to know what she's doing! We can't even get to her through her assistant. If our plan is going to work, we need to know how much she knows about our world and how she got in and out quickly without getting caught.
The police were there just ten minutes after we saw her in there, and she was gone a few minutes before they showed up. The entire coup was well planned and nothing you can throw together in an afternoon, which means she must have had help.
Wendy does not know how our world works appropriately, she does not know the rules and risks she takes when she asks others for help. I'm pissed! How can she put not only herself but also our children in danger just because she wants to get her revenge? There are other ways, damn it!
"Stop sulking!" Brody says annoyingly and looks at me. "You are not angry for what she did, but because she did not come to you for help. That's what stings, and you can't deny it."
Of course, he is right, but it is nothing I intend to admit neither to myself nor, above all, to them. It's my job to defend Wendy! After everything I have drawn her into and subjected her to, I feel guilty. Is that what drives me to protect her? No, it's because I love her.
Unfortunately, she doesn't realize how right we are for each other and how much I love her. It's not her fault, though. I haven't directly spent all my waking time convincing her or showing her how much I love her. Instead, I've taken the cowardly way out and hoped for the best.
And check how well it has gone! I need to talk to her; it's as simple as that. Adrien doesn't speak as much as he used to do before Wendy shut us out for months; it was hard on him and him if anyone felt constant anxiety over his bad conscience.
How do I know? Because Jaxon reminded me during one of the worst periods I had in my life that it was not just me who was affected by the pain and grief. I had buried myself so deep in the darkness that I did not care about anyone but my own self-pity.
When I had the kids, of course, I spent the time with them trying to get back to the only thing that mattered to me. But the majority of the time, it was faked happiness and energy that I didn't really obsess anymore. At least I did my best, and the kids never noticed anything.
Or yes, I don't know if they did. But if they did, they never said anything about it. I asked them about how it was like with their mom and tried to get as much information out as I could, even though it was incredibly wrong of me to do so.
After all that, Jaxon and Adrien got into my problems with Wendy less and less. Mainly because they agree with her about who has done wrong, but also because Adrien's loyalty is and remains with his best friend, Wendy.
The main thing we can blame the problems on is me, but there's a pretty big part that can be blamed on both my as well as Wendy's insecurities that created poor communication between us. When we met that day when she was with Jaxon, then we weren't sure of anything, neither with others nor ourselves.
Maybe we needed to go through all this to mature, achieve our full potential, and realize that we are stronger together than separately. Fate is a weird thing that can't figure out how it works, but it's all good fun to try, right?
"I know you want to help her, but if she doesn't want our help, then there's not much more we can do," says Jaxon, and I know that he's right too.
"We have to get to her office and talk to her, this is absolutely ridiculous," I answer and walk towards the elevator in my company building.
The others sigh but obediently follow me into the elevator. The trip to Wendy's office is crazy quiet, probably because everyone except me thinks this is a stupid idea. Believe me, so do I. But in this way, at least I get to see her, even if it's only for a little while.
To say she's unhappy about seeing us would be an understatement. She's all through angry that we're bothering her at her workplace, and I can honestly understand that. Even I concluded that it was a bad idea when her assistant called on her, but it was too late by then.
Wendy's tough, and she won't tell me who she called. I'm honestly surprised at how well she knows the unsaid rules that we follow to the letter. She's right that if she tells the truth about the person, then she's in trouble. Even though I'm aware of it, it feels like a betrayal; she doesn't trust me.
"Yes, it is, but it's also the truth. Isn't it?" she asks and gives me a pointed look. "Now, if you gentleman are quite finished. I have work to do."
When those words left her mouth, it felt like she gave me an uppercut and put a deep cut in my throat to see me slowly bleed to death. Again, I know I deserve it; believe me, it can burn anyway. I settle on, giving her a disappointed look before I follow the others.
We go back in silence, wounded by her words. Every one of us is aware that we had failed her when we did not protect her as we promised. But hearing her say those words, it hurt. She has never addressed our shortcomings before, and this is just another sign of what we all knew all along.
She feels betrayed by us and doesn't trust us anymore, at least not like her once upon a time. Honestly, can we blame her for that? No, we have no right to do that. Because she's right. What we need to focus on now is recreating the trust she once had for all of us.
"I think she cries when we don't see or hear," Adrien says without looking away from the window.
"What do you mean?" I ask, bewildered, and with slight panic.
"Wendy is a strong person," he says, turning his gaze to me in the rearview mirror. "But we broke her apart and mixed her heart with doubt. Believe me; she still cries when she thinks no one notices."
Damn it. Here I have walked around and believed, or rather hoped, that Wendy will manage herself; when in fact, she screams for me to save her. Of course, she is still hurt and sad after everything that has happened; it does not surprise me if our actions have caused her trauma.
I have to help her! But as usual, I have no idea how, and it keeps driving me crazy! My darling, why am I so stupid and not helping you when you need me? You are my love, and I will do everything for you if you just ask me for it.
On the other hand, that's the problem, isn't it? She shouldn't have to ask me for it, I should be able to see when she needs me, and if she doesn't want to talk about it, then I'll hold her in my arms until she's ready without questions. It is the way to eternal love, not to cowardly out.
"Turn back," I say to Brody.
"What?" he asks confusedly.
"Turn back the car, now!"
"I can't turn around here, it's a red light, and-" he doesn't have time to finish before I start taking my seatbelt off. "What the hell are you doing? Damien!"
I ignore him and run back the same way we came from. What drives me in her direction is the thought that she sits in tears and feels abandoned; again. I don't care if she's still sitting in her office, working and being okay; then, at least I'm aware of it.
But if she's like me sitting in her office with alcohol in her blood, pain in her chest, and tears on her cheeks, then I have to be there. I arrive in a few minutes and take the elevator up to her floor. The door is open a gap, and I wait to go in when I hear her.
I can see her from the door, and what I see is nothing I ever want to have to see again. She sits on the floor with an empty bottle of vodka and a glass shard that she slowly pulls over her thigh. The blood seeps out while she sobs loudly and is destroyed on a level I've never seen her before.
Without thinking, I open the door, walk up to her, lift her, and place her in my lap. My arms surround her, and her sobs get louder than before. At first, she is tense, but as we sit there together, she relaxes. She sobs into my chest, and I feel how my shirt gets wet by the tears.
"Never leave me again, please," she sobs, and I kiss her temple.
"Never again, baby, I promise," I respond, letting my lips cling to her skin.
Gratefully, the cuts in her thighs are not deep, so she does not want to end her life but rather ease her mental pain that I cause time and time again. Even if she does not want to finish it now, she can decide at any time to do it. She needs me more than I ever thought, and even if it pains me, I'm happy at the same time.
My angel needs me! What makes me sad; however, is why she needs me and how she needs me. All I ever wanted from her is to feel needed, like her husband and the love of her life. Instead, she needs me because she has thoughts of ending her life, and I am the one who placed the intentions there.
"How about cleaning those wounds, huh?" I ask softly when she calms down, which she nods in response to.
I hold her bridal style in my arms and walk towards the toilet, which is next to her office. She doesn't say a word but just stares straight out into thin air, as if she can see things that no one else can. Wendy has always been the strongest person I know; that's one of the reasons it hurts so much to see her broken down now.
"I thought the dark thoughts and self-injury had gotten better," I say with a sad smile and start cleaning her thighs.
"They were, then, it became more s**t in my life, and eventually it became too much. But it feels better now," she replies quietly.
"Really? Do you feel better now that you've hurt yourself?" I ask and try to keep my disappointed tone away.
"No," she replies, smiling softly at me. "It feels better because you are here with me, you actually care, and you are my reason to continue living."
A/N:
Hello everyone!
Two chapters in one day, I hope this compensates for my sudden absence some days... Wendy still hurts herself, and now Damien knows about it.
* What did you think of his gesture when he ran back?
* Is there still hope for these two?
* Do you think Damien understands her more now than before?
Please, let me know your thoughts! Lots of love!<3
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