17. Change of plans
1987 Words
Wendy POV
I'm not ashamed, I'm not angry nor sad; I'm empty, that's all. There's no other feeling left to pick up; I think I've officially broken down by now. You see, the day after I got answers to my questions from my adoptive parents, I went to work and pretended that nothing happened.
It's now my mantra, "everything's okay, don't lose control, you're okay," even though I know nothing's even close to being okay. But honestly, what else am I supposed to do? Break down? I cannot do that even if I would like to, because I have four children who need me to be strong.
It was bad enough when I broke down in their arms that day; I don't need them walking around worrying about me too. Their life is already as complicated as it can get; I have no desire to contribute to it more than I have to. Thankfully, the kids are at Damien's this week, which means I can recover.
And how do I recover? I'm not like all those women out there who pour wine and eat ice cream; I'm conquering new businesses. Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I'm doing something sensible, which is taking me further into the industry's market. I'm building an empire.
Although in the future, the children may not want to go the same way as me, at least I want to give them the opportunity to take after what I built. Or most concise be able to provide them with money to make their lives with. I will continue to be there for my children long after my death.
Even now, all four of them have their own bank account that I deposit money into that they get access to when they turn 25. In this way, they have the opportunity to build on and hopefully have reached some maturity to have the sense not to spend the money on s**t that they would probably do if they got access right when they are of age.
To give a teenager access to such high amounts is hardly a good idea, it probably understands even you. I'd indeed spent the money the day I got them, okay, maybe not. But you know the point! Not everyone is like me who had to save all the money I got even though my "parents" are wealthy.
Somehow I need to get out of this arranged wedding, too, but I have no idea how to solve it at present. What should I even say? "Hey you! I just want to let you know that I don't want to marry you. Unfortunately, the war must begin in town now. Bye!" yeah, no, it will not happen. My phone interrupts my thoughts.
"Hello?"
"Hey, tigrice," it's dad. "How are you?"
"Hey dad, you can drop the small talk, what is it you want?" I ask with an amused smile on my lips.
"Darn it! What gave it away?"
"For starters, you never call me when I'm at work. Secondly, you never call to simply talk about life, but only when it is important."
"I've said it before, and I'll repeat it, you're really Lena's daughter. We need to talk, can I see you at lunch at one?"
"Of course, Alfredo's?"
"Sounds good, see you there!"
I hang up and have a feeling of anxiety in my stomach. Like I said, dad never calls me like this and wants to talk things through without further ado. Either something is seriously wrong, or significant changes are going on. Whatever it is, I'm not fond of it at all.
Over time, I've understood that control is something I need in my life to avoid everything falling like dominoes. I know I can't control everything, but what I can, I will. My life has been a disaster ever since I was put at Mitchell and Angela's.
The least I deserve is to have some peace and quiet, which in itself can be difficult considering what world we live in. There's always drama somewhere, sadness elsewhere, and pain that never ends, whether it is in heartache or after losing something—peace and quiet we won't find in this world.
Who knows, in the next life, perhaps, everything is different? It doesn't bother me, as long as I get to see those I love again. I want to meet my mother, my biological mother, at least once if I get the opportunity. Even though I didn't know her, she's a big part of my life.
Dad has talked a lot about her, shown pictures, and even videos. What I react most to every time is how similar I am to her; I have my dad's eye color; beyond that, everything is from her genetic way. She must have been an outstanding woman.
I continue to work hard until it's time to leave the office. The worry in my stomach gets worse with every step I take towards the elevator, and once I sit in the car, it's almost unbearable. Even so, I get out of the car when I arrive at my destination and walk into the restaurant with my head high.
Dad sits at a table with a glass of whiskey in his hand and carefully studies the menu. I wave to Alfredo when I see him, and he waves cheerfully back. After that, I walk towards the table and sit down opposite my father. He looks up and seems nervous.
"Hi, sweetheart. It's nice that we can meet and talk about it now instead of having to take it home," he says, putting my hand in his hand.
"What's going on, dad? You are nervous, and Novak's do not get nervous," I clarify and carefully examine him with my gaze.
"It's about your wedding," he says, looking away from me in shame.
"What about my wedding?" I ask and wave a waitress to me; I need a drink for this. "I'll take the same as him."
She nods and walks away from us. My focus returns to my father, who looks more and more anxious. What the hell is going on? Now he can't even look at me, which has never happened before. We have a shared respect towards each other; why has it suddenly changed?
"Dad, out with it!"
"The date has moved forward."
"Okay? When is it?"
"In a week," he says, and I cough heavily when I swallow wrong.
"A week?! Are you crazy? There is no chance that everything will be completed on time!"
"Wendy, please understand! This is much bigger than you and me; it's about all of us's safety!"
"I agreed to this marriage because I knew I would have time to settle all things before then, what the hell?!" I exclaim angrily.
"Wendy, listen to me... Everyone wants to be like you, even though they don't know you. You have tight jeans and a stylish hairstyle, but everything that you have is just a facade. Only wine of the best kind, blurred memories are thrown away. The lightning burns; the truth disappears. Everything goes through a filter."
"What? What do you mean?"
"You know too many people you know too little, friends in the crowd and no friends in life because they don't really know you. Nice moments, but it's all gone. You're happy, but you're just pretending, so now you're covering every crack in the facade. You seem to live crazy, and everything is amazing; you want to be a character, but be who you are. It always pays off. So please give me some weakness, which shows a little authenticity, because your fake smile is a disgusting behavior. The image of you remains perfect; you have succeeded, in any case, outwardly. You paint everything so well, but all you have is ultimately just a facade."
"What's your point?" I ask casually, not really caring even though he's right.
"Why didn't you try to get out of this marriage when it's so obvious that you love someone else? This Damien guy obviously has your heart in his hand, was this how you wanted it to end?"
What. In. The. Whole. Hell? What the f**k is the problem? Do I look like I'm looking forward to a marriage with a patriarchal man that I will never love? My anger begins to boil inside me, and before I know it, the glass I hold has been smashed against the table.
"Listen to me and listen carefully because I will not repeat myself. I have laughed and cried, become angry, forgiven others. The past year has been f****d up and a disaster. I have gone as if in a stupor, f*****g got what I have not managed, I have understood that my scale goes in gray when I speak. Trying to keep up but not catch up, and you should know how I fight to make everything function together while I'm looking for new paths. But it creaks when it feels like the legs are stuck in chains, then it feels like the sky rages in panic though I admit I'm on my way back. God heard my prayers, and I thank him for giving me life back. I picked myself up again in hand with the inspiration and with greater f*****g pressure than what is in a bullet. The road leans upwards, and it suits me perfectly; get in the way man, I throw you right away. My goal has always been to go my own way and bring myself up on my own, trying to reach what I am worth. Understand what I'm asking, and I feel it's my turn now. I've always been honest, neither fapped nor lied. Always run my own thing and only yawned when others tried to break me down. Nothing has been able to upset me with the dream as my mirage, men who want to take the chance, but they forget my siege. Roads are gloomy, and I want to be heard by anyone who refuses to listen. All my f*****g life, I have had to fight for my survival, and everything I wanted has never been a priority; it is not now either. I'm doing this for you, the people I love, because I want you to be safe. So do not come to me and try to blame for something that you have created. You promised me away before I was even born! Do not come here and talk to me about what I want, because it seems rather that it is you who sits with feelings of guilt, not me."
I get up and walk away. There is nothing more to say. How can he even for a second think that this is something I really want to do? The tears burn in my eyes, and honestly, I feel betrayed. Ivan pretends that he knows something that he has no idea about.
He has repeatedly said that the friends I have are not some I can trust; he refers to Adrien and the brothers. But how can he know that when he has no idea who they are or what they've done for me? Sure, it's partly my fault because I never told our story, but still. Who the hell says that to his child?
Now it does not matter, I get married in a week, and there is nothing I can do about it if I do not come up with a solution. How to solve it, I still do not know, and this will not help at all. Suddenly a thought strikes me, and I know exactly how to solve it; hopefully, no one stands in my way. And if they do, then I'll run them over.
A/N:
Hello everyone!
Well, Wendy's clearly pissed off, and she has every right to be.
* What did you think about Ivan's words, is he right?
* Was Wendy's reaction valid or was she overreacting?
* How do you think she's going to get out of it?
Please let me know your thoughts, and how this chapter made you feel! Lots of love!<3
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