Nash I’ve never been the smartest guy, or even the strongest guy, but god dammit, I’d never been a f.ucking coward either. I regularly walked into places and situations that would make the average man p.iss himself, for good reason. But I couldn’t face a woman? It wasn’t the woman that terrified me so much, it was the feelings I got when I was near her. It was the pull in my stomach that made me want to be near her, the feeling that I wasn’t whole unless we were touching. It was the sick feeling I got when I ran away from her, a feeling that never quite left me, even when I was eating dust and swatting flies in Africa. I tried to tell myself that I was doing the best thing for her, for everyone, for myself. I didn’t have the kind of lifestyle that allowed for intimate relations