Chantria
A lot of things happened in our lives even when we were still kids. Namatay ang mom namin the same day na dapat ay bibinyagan kami. We were five to six years old at that time.
We couldn't get ourselves together at her funeral. Iyak kami nang iyak at hindi ko na rin maalala kung paano kami nakauwi.
Matapos ang funeral service, bumalik si dad sa pagtatrabaho na para bang walang nangyari. Inutusan niya ang mga butler at maid na dalhin kami sa school sa sumunod na araw na para bang wala siyang pakialam sa nararamdaman namin.
It was like he was telling us, You already cried a lot at the funeral. Get yourselves together. We still have a lot of things to do.
Pero hindi namin siya kinamuhian dahil doon. Alam namin kung gaano rin kasakit sa kaniya ang nangyari kay mom gaya ng kung gaano 'yon kasakit sa 'ming triplets. At ngayon lang din namin naintindihan kung bakit niya 'yon ginawa. Gusto niyang maging matatag na ama sa harap namin para maging matatag din kami.
Of course, we didn't know about that until now. Mga bata pa kami noon para maintindihan ang mga nangyayari sa paligid namin.
Hindi nagtagal ay inanunsyo na rin ni dad na si Carleigh, ang ikalawa sa triplets, ang magmamana ng kompanya ni dad. At hindi lang basta ang kompanya kung hindi ang pinaka-principal business ni dad dahil marami siyang hawak na company.
But Carleigh has a dream. She wants to be something else. Ayaw niyang manahin ang company ni dad o kahit ano pa man sa mga business niya.
And so, being the eldest and the second in line, I volunteered to do it. Dahil hindi ko naman talaga alam kung ano ang gusto kong gawin sa buhay ko, I might as well be useful and do the right thing. I will inherit it on behalf of my sister. In exchange, I want to do it when I turn eighteen. Until then, I want to enjoy my teenage years.
"I'm sorry, again," Chanel whispers, probably sleepy already since it is three in the morning right now. Nakahiga na siya sa isang corner ng kama namin dahil tabi-tabi kami kung matulog. Yakap niya ang unan ko pero hinayaan ko na siya. "I didn't mean to tell dad where you went that day. He will find out about it anyway."
Bumuntonghininga ako bago niyakap din ang sariling unan. Nakatitig lang ako sa kisame habang pinanonood ang starry night na nanggagaling sa ilaw na binili namin online.
"Forget it. I'll talk to him tomorrow. He said he had a gift for us. That means I am not grounded anymore, right?"
"Probably."
Nanatiling tahimik si Carleigh sa kabilang banda ko. At nang tingnan ko siya ay gising na gising pa rin ang diwa niya. Mukhang wala pa siyang balak matulog kahit na madaling araw na.
I know that look very well. She is probably thinking about something she shouldn't have.
I sigh. "I am going to inherit the business, so worrying about it right now is useless, Leigh. Let me do my job as the eldest sister."
"I am just thinking. Dad will probably not let me go to Maryland College because I didn't inherit his business. And I can't go there without his money."
Humarap ako sa kaniya. Naghihilik na si Chanel sa likod ko kaya naman naiwan kaming dalawa na nagkukuwentuhan. Ayoko rin namang ma-involve pa siya rito.
"I am going to inherit dad's business. That means I get a hold of his money. I will make sure that you are going in there just fine, even if I have to use all of his money. At nag-ooffer naman sila ng scholarship, 'di ba? You are smart. Magiging okay ka lang."
"You know there are a lot of books I need, and there will be field works. It will still cost me money even if I get a scholarship. This is Maryland we are talking about."
I nod. "Do you really want to be a police officer? You know, you are too beautiful to become one. You will fit more as a beauty queen."
She rolls her eyes at the ceiling. I know that is for me, though. "I'd rather deal with criminals and guns than the crowd full of judgy people."
Napahagikgik na lang ako bago muling napabuntonghininga. "I just hope that dad will not be too hard on you. He tends to be so strict sometimes that it is suffocating. Matapos pumanaw ni mom, naging ganiyan na siya. And somehow, naiintindihan ko naman. Gusto niya lang kung ano ang makabubuti sa 'ting magkakapatid. But I know you don't take it that way. You don't like being controlled, right?"
"I always follow the rules," she said with certainty, "you know that."
"I do. But following and wanting are two different things. You follow the rules, but do you want to?"
Nang pumikit siya ay napapikit na rin ako. Unti-unti na akong nakararamdaman ng antok matapos ang naging pag-uusap namin. We always talk about serious stuff like this because I know she can understand.
Chanel probably can't understand us, but she will, eventually. Ayaw lang din naming ma-involve siya rito dahil gusto naming enjoy-in niya ang buhay niya bilang bunso sa pamilya. Ayos nang kami muna ni Carleigh ang pumroblema ng mga 'to. Ayaw naming mangyari sa kaniya ang nangyayari sa 'min ngayon. We want what's best for her.
We will spoil her if we have to. But there is a limit to that, and we all know that. Gusto ko lang ma-experience niya kung ano ang hindi namin na-experience ni Leigh. At least we want to save Chanel from all this inheritance and career drama. Gusto naming piliin niya kung saan siya masaya at gusto niya ang ginagawa niya, at hindi dahil gusto ng ibang tao at iyon ang inaasahan sa kaniya. Kahit pa ba suwayin namin ang gusto ni dad.
Sa oras na manahin ko ang kompanya, susuportahan ko ang mga kambal ko sa abot ng makakaya ko. Ayon kay dad, mamanahin lang nila ang parte nila sa company kapag naka-graduate na sila sa college.
Sa kabilang banda naman, hindi ko kailangang sundin 'yon. Pwede kong manahin ang main business kung kailan ko gusto.
The problem is, right now, I am not interested yet. Gusto ko munang pag-aralan ang bawat pasikot-sikot sa business. Ayokong sumabak sa isang gyera nang walang alam at wala man lang sandatang dala para protektahan ang sarili ko. I heard one of the Big Three is ruled by a mafia boss. And it is not something that I need to take lightly.
They can take me down so quickly the moment we let our guard down.