CHAPTER 41
I’m sitting here staring at my phone, except I’m not paying attention to anything online. I don’t even have any browsers or apps open. I’m just staring.
I know I don’t deserve to be happy. It makes sense that these past few months were as horrific as they’ve been. I’ve got to do my penance, face my consequences, reap what I’ve sown, all those stinking clichés.
I’m thinking about right after Jake and I got married, how gentle he was, how scared he was of hurting me, how he promised to take care of me. We didn’t talk about Natalie that night, but I think once we got married we started loving her even more. I know I did. Because we were a family now. She wasn’t just this little sick girl who popped out of my body. She was my own flesh and blood, the tangible result of my relatio
