Breaking Her Walls

░Three░

SOPHIA

AGE: 18

"Gimme my fries, Saad!" I yell and he just smirks, stretching his arms further up in the air with my plate of fries in his hand.

I'm fuming with anger as I try to jump and somehow take hold of my fries drizzled with ketchup. Although I'm taller than most girls my age, I'm not tall enough!

And I hate it when people try to intimidate me. He's tall, so what? I'm stronger surely. My mouth pulls at one side into an evil smile.

"I'm so scared, Soph!" He mocks.

Oh, I'll make sure he's scared by the end of it.

I climb onto the tiled bench, until we're standing eye to eye. And before he has the chance to back away, I swiftly get ahold of his wrist and press down hard.

Which proves to be not such a good idea because that damned boy loosens his hold on the plate and my dear, baby fries fall onto the ground.

Rest in peace.

I glare at him. He swallows. He knows how much I love fries!

He raises his hands and mutters an 'Uh oh.'

Before I start my ranting.

"HOW DARE YOU! THEY WERE MY FRIES!" I bark, quite literally and I hear our group of friends cheering me on. "GO GET ME NEW ONES! NOW."

He nods his head like the innocent boy that he is. I almost snort. Because he is not innocent. At all.

I hear his footsteps as he runs to the canteen and watch as his mouth moves quickly while ordering.

I make my way to the place where my friends are sitting and they all clap once I reach there. Smirking, I flip my hair over my shoulder and sit down next to Kabir, on the ground.

The girls scoot over and I roll my eyes because they're literally such big attention seekers, clinging to the other two boys like glue.

I only cope with them because of kabir and Saad otherwise I'd be long gone from here. Somehow the idea of clingy girls is worse than the idea of clingy boys.

Not that the boys are clingy with me. They know their bounds. I've made them clear since day one.

"Here you go, my lady." I hear Saad say, as he bends down and hands me my plate of hot fries.

"Sarcasm doesn't suit you, you know?" I tell him as I start stuffing my mouth with three fries at a time and he tells Maheen to scoot over and sits down next to me.

He turns his head and looks at me. "So I've been told. Several times."

I roll my eyes. As does he.

—

Mama opens the front door after I basically just sat onto the bell. Yes, I rang it for about two minutes straight.

She says Salaam and I reply in an irritated, uncaring voice.

"You could've waited, you know? It takes time to walk from my room to here." She says making a disapproving sound.

Like always.

"Yes, Mom." I reply curtly, then walk to my room upstairs.

Closing the door shut, one by one I take my shoes off and throw one in one corner and the other in the other corner. Same with my socks and same with my pants and top.

I head straight to the shower. Just as the water hits me my mind drifts off to the only thing it can go to.

My past. Memories. Showering ten times a day and still feeling disgusting.

My chest constricts and I break down right in the shower cabinet. I lean my head against the stone wall and cry my heart out.

My chest rises and falls with every sob that escapes.

That's what happiness is. It's just for show. There is no happiness or just being able to smile.

I hate that after so much effort and after changing myself completely I still can't be the person I want to be.

I can't ever be free of my past. It's always there in the back of my mind. Always there to eat away at my joy.

But I won't give up.

If I have to pretend every day, I will. Who knows when I might find happiness?