Dear Ex-Wife, Please Love Me Again

6. Defend yourself like a lioness

6. Defend Yourself Like a Lioness

“You definitely have talent. But it’s also clear that you need to learn the techniques. But that can be learned. If you’re interested in working with me, I can help you develop your full potential. There are some models in your portfolio that are very interesting.”

Mrs. Dorantes has dedicated two hours of her valuable time to me. That makes me feel very important.

“But I want to warn you. I need you completely available. I know you have children, but there will be times when they’ll have to take a backseat. I’m not saying it’ll always be like that, but when we’re launching new seasons, the work is very hard. I have a group of designers who have been working with me for a while, and their designs are already aimed at a certain demographic. I’m interested in you supporting the person in charge of the 20-30 year old women's group. It’s one of the most difficult, but from what I see in your drawings, you’re basing it on your daughter's image, and that can be a good starting point. What do you say? Are you up for working 48 hours a day?”

I’m still trying to process everything she’s said.

First of all, she liked my work, check.

Second, she’s going to teach me a lot about this world that I love so much, check.

I’ll be able to keep designing for my baby girl, check.

Work, work, work, yessss! Check, hahahaha

“I don’t need to think about it, ma’am. I’m very grateful for the opportunity you’re giving me.

Of course I accept. I’m not afraid of hard work. I’ve worked those hours and more taking care of two children and a husband since I was eighteen. I assure you that I won’t let you down.”

The lady looks at me pleased and smiles at my little joke. I feel like I’m on cloud nine. The woman I was just a few weeks ago is fading away with every tear that falls from my eyes. The pain of deceit is purifying me, drawing out longings that were dormant. That my children support me as much as my parents, and that Mrs. Dorantes is giving me an opportunity, makes me feel powerful.

“Then welcome, dear. Cony told me a little about your story. Don’t think it was gossip, hahaha.

It’s just that the saleswoman-client relationship line was crossed many years ago and now we’re good friends and I understand you perfectly. I went through a similar situation to yours years ago, and look at me, I’m here, succeeding, no matter what anyone says. That’s what I want for you and that’s why I’m going to help you achieve it. Your fulfilled dreams will one day be so dazzling that they’ll blind those who wronged you or wished you ill.”

The words of encouragement from that important lady touch my heart. If Juan Luis thought that I would let myself be devastated by his betrayal, he’s going to be very disappointed. The one who will regret having been horrible to the one who loved him above all else will be him. One day he’ll cry for me, I can be sure of that.

“I advise you to let out all those feelings that you’re experiencing in your soul right now through your designs. Pain is a good engine to bring out the dormant inspiration within us. I want to leave you with an assignment, to create five models, whichever you want, you can choose for whichever audience you want, and present them to me next Monday. I’ll show them to two of my valued collaborators, and they’ll be in charge of giving me their opinions. If you pass their test, I’ll give you a welcome bonus, what do you say?”

I start blinking, not quite understanding her words. I rub my eyes to see if it’s a dream. But no, I open and close my eyes and she’s still here in front of me, smiling.

“Of course!” I’ll spend this weekend working.

"I assure you that I won’t let you down.” Without thinking, I approach her and give her a kiss on the cheek and a hug. I’m so excited that someone is giving me a chance.

“And now, I’ll say goodbye. I have to go pick up my kids and buy what I need to do the sketches.

May I be excused?”

Mrs. Dorantes lets out a big laugh. I don’t get the joke, but I smile too. She realizes that I didn’t get the joke, if there was one.

“I’m not making fun of you, it’s just that it’s like I’m a teacher and you’re in the classroom. You don’t need to ask my permission, go on, go get your children. See you on Monday at ten in the morning.” My smile widens, so I take my things and curtsy.

The truth is that the last time I had a teacher was in high school, so I’m used to asking for permission. I see that many things need to change in my behavior and demeanor. I’m a girl trapped in the body of a thirty-year-old woman.

As I walk out of the big building, I turn around to face it. I’m going to work here and I can’t believe it. I start jumping up and down and do the victory dance my kids taught me.

I’m so happy I don’t care if people think I’m crazy.

When I finish my little celebration, I straighten my clothes and go back to being the reliable mother. Shoot, I’m running late. So I immediately run to my car. I hope I don’t have to run any red lights to get there on time.

I decide it’s better to be late than not to arrive, so I’m a few minutes late. I park on the sidewalk and walk to the school entrance, but what I see makes my blood boil and fury clouds my vision.

I walk like a caged lioness, ready to defend her cubs.

“What are you doing here?” I yell at the woman who dares to come and harass my children. Their sad faces tell me that she’s already spoken to them, and it wasn’t a pleasant conversation.

“I have the right to see my grandchildren and now that they know that their father has finally separated from their mediocre mother, that is, from you, I want them to know that they have open doors to come and live with me. You won’t be able to give them what my son has accustomed them to. I’m going to make sure that you’re left on the street, and you won’t be able to keep them, and since you’re a useless woman who doesn’t know how to do anything, the state may decide that it’s better for them to live with us. I just want you to know that I’m going to take them away from you, so that Juan Luis won’t give you a single dollar. And say goodbye to the house, because I’m going to keep it. Consider yourself warned.”

The woman walks away and gets into the car that’s waiting for her. I can’t believe she came here to mortify my babies. I know she’s never loved them, much less my Tony, for looking like me, but threatening them, that I will not allow. If before I was thinking of agreeing to only grant us what the law dictates in child support, now I will make sure to leave him without even his underwear, as Mom’s lawyer says.

“Mommy!”

My Lily runs to me. She’s crying profusely, while Tony looks upset. It’s obvious when he’s upset because he has the same problem I do. When we get angry we get as red as my hair.

“So Dad’s going to take everything away from us and not give us any money. Why, Mommy? Why does Daddy hate us?” I look at my daughter’s tearful face.

I don’t understand what’s going on either. Where did the man I’ve known for so long, the one I’ve lived with for twelve years and who said he loved me, go? Maybe he never existed. All I know is that I’m not going to let that woman near them again.

“Don’t cry, Lily, because of what Dad’s mother said. She’s never loved us. But we have to accept that it’s just the three of us. It’s up to us to take care of each other and love each other.”

That woman has lost the title of grandmother to her grandchildren. I hope she never regrets this, because life always brings us back to the same place. But what really touches my heart is that my children are maturing at an astonishing rate.

Thanks, Juan Luis. I’m going to write this down too, for when the time comes to settle the score, I think as I hug my children.

They’ve awakened the beast inside of me.