Satisfied Secrets (18+) [COMPLETE]

[1] I Love You

~JENNA~

Embroidered white lace embraced Caroline’s curves sensually, extenuating her hourglass body. Her blonde hair cascaded down her slender shoulders with golden stars and crystals braided within, reflecting the sunshine peeking through the window. The red roses in her hands only emphasized her beauty, making her rosy cheeks and deep red lips pop. There was no doubt how stunning my step-sister looked in her wedding dress, checking her make-up one last time in the mirror. 

Her friends from college, Tanya and Irene, stood at her side, throwing compliment after compliment at her.

“You are so gorgeous!”

“Troy is going to faint when he sees you!”

Caroline’s ocean blue eyes caught me in the mirror reflection, granting me a cheerful smile. With her index finger, she gestured for me. “Come here, Jen.”

Gathering the smooth fabric of my lavender bridesmaid gown, I obeyed, her words always wrapping around me like rope, drawing me closer. Stopping at her side, she grabbed a blush pink lipstick, her fingers capturing my chin.

“That looks better,” she mused, rubbing the color gently on my lips. I couldn’t help but notice she smelt of lilac and honey. Always lilac and honey since we were girls. “There. Perfect.” Directing me towards the mirror, we stood side by side, measuring each other's reflection. She, with her pearly white smile, high cheekbones, and seductive almond-shaped eyes. Then there was me. Dark brown hair curled around my shoulders, dimpled cheeks, and hazel eyes trying to hide the nerves of today with dignity and grace.

Caroline has always been the epitome of perfection since we were little girls, my mom always comparing me to her. She had the looks of a professional model since we first met, her fourteen and I thirteen. Mastering the piano and violin, well-spoken, and diligent in all things, she stood out at a young age. As a sophomore in high school, she became the leader of the debate club while also being head cheerleader. She exuded confidence, her radiant light drawing in everyone far and wide. Graduating at the top of her class in law school, she received a job at the most elite law firms in the country. And now she was about to get married to the one guy I’ve loved since high school, Troy Alder.

I was happy for her, truly. She deserved everything life had to offer, including Troy.

They were the most perfect power couple I’d ever witnessed.

So why was I suddenly struck with overwhelming regret that I’d ever introduced them? Of all the days!

 “Jenna, can you go check on Troy?” Caroline asked, yanking me out of my thoughts. “See if he’s ready.”

Ignoring the boulder of regret settling in my chest, I gave her a small smile. “Of course.” Pulling up my dress so I wouldn’t trip, I turned towards the door where our parents sat, taking pictures of this momentous occasion. They didn’t bat an eye at me as I passed them. Opening the door to her dressing room, I stepped out and down the hall towards Troy’s room. With his door cracked open, the clicks of my heel against marble floors gave me away before I even entered.

His groomsmen peered over their shoulders at me, giving approving nods at my attire. “Lookin’ nice, Jenna,” José complimented. Marcus smiled in agreement while Troy kept his back to me, still fixing the cufflinks of his tux. 

“Thanks.”

“Hey, Jen, can you help me with these?” Troy asked, looking down in frustration. 

Quickly, I marched to his side while José and Marcus headed towards the door. “We’re going to make sure the guests are all seated,” Marcus told him, José following out the door. With a gentle snap, the door closed, leaving Troy and me alone to situate his attire.

Blood pumped through my heart at double the speed, squeezing every heartache I’d been feeling over the years in a single setting. This was the first time in a long time it’d just been him and me alone. Stop it. The scent of his rustic cologne sent butterflies through my gut, fluttering hysterically. Damn. I adjusted the golden cufflinks on both wrists, keeping my eyes down. If I looked up at him, everything I’ve kept inside would flood out like a broken dam. And I wasn’t about to ruin the most important day of their lives by admitting how much I…

“Can you check this tie as well?” he asked, his voice deep and husky in my ears. A current of intoxicating pleasure coursed down my spine and between my thighs. It felt harder reminding myself I couldn’t have him. A needy part of me reminded me that I’d befriended him first well before Caroline. But I refrained myself. 

I nodded quietly, eyes crawling upwards to his toned neck beneath his white collar. His broad shoulders leaned closer to compensate for my short stature, my hands loosening the tie to fix it properly. 

I swallowed my apprehension of his body in such close proximity. “Who did this tie for you?” I asked, sprinkling humor in my voice. “It’s horrendous.”

His chin trembled with an awkward laugh. “Me,” he confessed. “My hands have been trembling all-day.” To prove himself, he places a warm hand against my cheek, his trembling fingers comforting on my skin. 

Before I could fall under his spell, I pulled away with a bashful laugh. “Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet on us.” Us. I blinked at the word, fingers freezing at the sweet taste of it on my tongue. Us. There used to be an ‘us’ before they started dating, before they fell in love. Quickly, I corrected myself, finishing his tie. “On Caroline. She’s stunning in her wedding gown so you’ll be sorry if you miss out.”

“I’d be a fool to miss that,” he agreed, his voice pinching at my heart. Without warning, I felt his finger lift my chin up to face him. Then those dark brown eyes were all I could see, weakening the barriers of ecstasy I’d been harboring for him, collected over the years. “You look beautiful too, Jen.”

As though a string hauled the words out my throat by force, I confessed, “I love you!” Hot, red blood boiled against my cheeks. We were both startled by the abruptness, taken aback. Stepping back from him, removing his wicked touch on me, I looked down shamefully. I shouldn’t have admitted such a thing on his wedding day--to my step-sister. “I’m so sorry, Troy. I’ve just...felt this way about you since high school when I first saw you on the soccer field.” I pinched the silky material of my dress, focusing to keep my heart from breaking through my chest. “When we became friends, I didn’t want to ruin what we had, then Caroline…” I licked my lips nervously. “I thought you both looked good together, so I ignored my feelings for you. For years now.” I took another step back shakily. “And I thought I could handle today but--”

Swiftly yanking my arm, Troy pulled me back to him, his lips crashing into mine. 

At first, I stayed breathless, unbelieving that we were in this position. His body pressed into mine, his delicious lips hinting at the same craving I’ve held for him. Then instincts kicked in. My arms wrapped around his shoulders, deepening the kiss, embracing everything I’d dreamed of since now. One of his hands on my cheek while the other held me tightly by the waist. With a pleasurable groan, we opened our mouths wide, our tongue dancing to a forbidden beat. His thigh teased my pleading core, awakening a yearning I’d kept at bay for so long. We clung to one another as though we were the only things keeping each other afloat in a sea of temptation.

Taking a moment to catch our breaths, I finally took a good look at him. His face heated with a fiery desire, dark eyes drawing me in like a beaconing light. His face clean-shaven with a waft of aftershave made me bite my bottom lip, eyes skimming down to his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed.

“You should have...” he whispered, his lips hovering over mine. “...said something.”

The skin along my neck sizzled from his touch, his fingers caressing the exposed skin of my dress. “I know.” His soft lips captured mines again, this time with a beastly hunger that ravished the both of us. Tongues twining together, his hands lowered to explore my body. Fabric barricaded his warm touch along the skin of my hips. Still, I shuddered in his arms. Moving into me, he pushed me commandingly until I lightly collided with the granite counter against the wall. His lips told of unspeakable feelings and craving he’d never allowed himself to seek before, his kiss lowering to my cheek then my neck.

I held him tight, the feeling of him between my legs creating a curdling moan from my throat. Turned on, his teeth nipped at my shoulder, lowering the strap. At the same time, his hand hiked my dress up, his palm burning my bare thigh. I pulled him closer, everything inside me boiling over for him, his body, his love.

Picking me up in his arms, he placed me on the counter, kissing my lips with a groan. His fingers inched closer to the forbidden cave I’d only fantasied he’d explore since high school. I’d spend nights under the sheets imagining his fingers entering my wet cave, his kisses glittering every inch of my body, and the way he’d call my name.

“Jen,” he moaned deeply, reminding me this wasn’t just in my head. He was touching me in all the ways I’d yearned for as I ran my fingers through the back of his hair. And if he touched me further, I wouldn’t be able to control all the desires I wanted to unleash this very moment.

“Troy,” I responded. I kissed his lips tenderly one last time. Overwhelming reality hit me the moment I finally forced him back, both hands now on his strong chest. His heart race beneath my palms, breathing heavily at the sudden change in the air around us. “You’re getting married.”

Those three words struck him like a knife, causing him to swallow down the remainder of our lustful hunger. His head dropped defeatedly, his hands landing on both sides of me. “I waited so long for you to say those words to me, Jen,” he confessed, his words coiling around my heart. They grew tighter with each word, taking my breath away. “I thought...you just saw me as...a brother or something.”

“I tried.” I really did. The moment he started dating Caroline, I told myself that my feelings for him were something I could trap in a jar and send afloat. But it never worked that way. Each day, my craving for him worsened, only relieving when we went to separate colleges. “But you love Caroline,” I stated, matter-of-factly, unwilling to create an ounce of doubt for him to cling to. He loved her and that was that. I wouldn’t be a homewrecker to a home just building its foundation.

“I do,” he said, pushing himself off the counter. Sucking in an exasperated breath, he ran a hand through his brown tussles. His eyes found mine, filled with longing, unease, and heartache. “I love her. And I love you.”

Silence engulfed us like a savory snack, biting into our cravings and shame. He loved me. He loved Caroline. He loved both of us. Could I really make him choose? No. I’d hate myself if I did that. Caroline’s my sister, my friend, and I--we couldn’t hurt her like that. Finding my footing, I stepped down from the counter. Troy stepped away, unwilling to tempt this amorous connection between us. And honestly, if he touched me again, I wasn’t sure I could fight off the desires a second time.

Taking a deep breath, forcing every shred of lust and affection I had for him into the pit of my being, I masked them all with a sad smile. “You have a wedding to get ready for. Fix your hair and…” I quickly grabbed a napkin off the counter, handing it to him. “...wipe the lipstick off.” Guilt shot through me, remember the gentleness of her placing the color on my lips. “This…” I gestured between us, my candid words snapping the invisible line that connected us, “...never happened. I’ll tell her you’ll be ready in five.”

Before he could utter another word, I headed towards the door, adjusting myself and wiping off excess lipstick from my mouth. Internally, I prayed I wouldn’t mess this up further than I’d already done. After fluffing the curls along my shoulders, I grasped the doorknob and froze at the sound of his voice.

“Thanks...for telling me how you felt all these years.”

With a silent nod, I opened the door and quickly marched out. Closing the door behind me, I slowed down outside Caroline’s door, trying to settle my heart and anxiety. I’d just made out with her groom before her wedding. I confessed my feelings for him. And he displayed his own buried feelings for me. This is wrong. Swallowing the guilt, I prepped myself one last time before placing a hand on the doorknob.

Once I opened it, Caroline swirled around in her beautiful white grown with a shimmering smiled. “He’ll be ready in five,” I told her, hiding my resentment of this day.