Games of the Heart

Like Bitter Medicine

Anthony was minding his own business, like usual. It was recess time in the morning and he was feeling hungry. He didn’t have enough breakfast because he was running late for first period and his mother practically shove him out of the house without letting him finish his food.

He scowled in remembrance.

Well, at least she didn’t forget to give him his allowance this time.

He was walking to the cafeteria by himself, his new headphones singing a familiar song into his ears. The heavy bass suddenly disappeared when his headphones was suddenly yanked off from his head.

“Hello, Maxino,” he heard a snide voice say before he got shoved into an alley behind the gym. He turned to look but was greeted by a fist in the gut. He bent over, coughing and wincing.

What the hell?

“I heard you talked s**t to my girlfriend.”

“Your girlfriend?” he wheezed out, glancing up at the four guys in front of him. “Didn't she break up with you for Marco Dy?”

A fist connected with his face, making him fall to the side. His hair was grabbed and he stared at the ugly mug of Manuel Torres in front of him. He was Sheila’s boyfriend. Or was it ex-boyfriend? Maybe not yet. He still referred to himself as her boyfriend after all.

“Listen here, scum. You need to remember your place in this school, no, in this whole town.”

Anthony spat blood from his mouth and almost laughed. How many times did he hear these exact lines? They should really start making something new soon because this was becoming too boring.

Smacking Manuel’s hand away, he mumbled, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever. If chicken legs dumped you, you shouldn’t really take it out on me.”

“You little freak.” A kick on his stomach made Anthony groan and lie down on the ground. “You still dare to talk back to me?” Manuel grabbed his hair again. Seriously, what was it with him and grabbing other people’s hair? “You’re garbage. Garbage. Just like your moth—“

He didn't get to finish. Anthony had kneed him in groin and Manuel fell to his knees with a loud groan of his own, clutching the middle of his pants. Anthony stood over him, trying to control his anger.

Like hell was he going to just lie down and listen to them talk trash about his mother. They can call him all the unoriginal names they want. They can beat him all they want. But he wasn’t going to allow them to talk about his mother that way.

“You asshole,” Manuel wheezed out. To the guys behind him, he ordered, “Let’s break his leg.”

Shit, Anthony thought as he got held down by them on the ground. He struggled against their hold but he was outnumbered. 

The cowards. 

Manuel rose from the ground, his face completely pissed off. He lifted his foot to stomp on Anthony’s leg. And Anthony could only do nothing but watch.

“You do that, I break your necks.”

They turned towards the mouth of the alley. Alex was standing there. His face was blank but there was something intimidating, something ominous about the way he was standing there, looking at them without even blinking.

Manuel must have gotten the message because he clenched his jaw and moved away from Anthony. The others let go and Anthony slowly rose to a sitting position, wincing from the pain in his stomach.

“We're not done,” Manuel hissed down at him.

“Oh, yes you are,” Alex said in a dangerous tone, walking up to them. “Because if I hear or see you messing with him again, I'll make you wish you were never born.”

Manuel gave him an ugly grin. “Threats, Fernandez?”

Alex lifted a brow. “Threats? I don't issue threats, Torres. I issue warnings. And you're welcome to try me.”

With one nasty look at Anthony, Manuel and his friends pushed past Alex. Alex looked at Anthony then. He was now smiling.

Anthony glowered up at him.

How could he change his expressions so quickly?

“What have you gotten yourself into now, Anthony?” Alex asked down to him.

“How did you find me?” he bitterly asked.

“Marco saw you getting dragged here.”

Marco? That was the last person Anthony would expect to tell Alex. Didn’t he see him go off with his harem somewhere?

He decided not to dwell on it. Slashing Alex a cold look, he told him, “Well I didn't need your help.”

Alex raised a brow and glanced down at his leg. “Sure you didn't,” he quipped. “Let me help you up.”

Slapping his hand away, Anthony snapped, “f**k off, tallass.”

“Come on.” Undeterred, Alex grabbed his arm and pulled him up. “Up you go.”

Anthony shrugged his hand off. He was angry. Furious. With himself and with Alex. He just had to let him see how pathetic he was. He just had to see what a loser and a freak he was. Anthony didn’t know why he cared what Alex thought and saw but he didn’t want him saving him. It would only serve to make him feel even angrier at himself and at the world for this f****d up life.

From his own personal hell, Anthony stared at Alex with his fists curled tightly. “You always have to be the good guy, don't you?”

The question clearly surprised Alex. “I'm not being a good guy,” he said.

“You just have to be a f*****g hero.”

“You're my friend, Anthony.” His face turned hard, his body tensing up. “I'm not going to watch you get beaten up.”

Sneering, Anthony leaned into him. “Well, you did. Remember junior high? Freshman year? You watched your buddies trash me and lock me inside a locker.”

“They weren’t my friends. And in my defense, I got you out of that locker.”

“After they were gone!” he snarled. He whirled around and took a few steps away. Then he whirled back to face him and shouted in a voice that slightly trembled from the overwhelming emotions that was taking over him, “After one hour! f*****g seriously?”

Shaking his head, Alex said, “I had not had my growth spurt yet, Anthony. It was six against you. I didn't want to get beaten up into a pulp and worry my parents.”

“You were a coward.”

“If it makes you feel better, then you can call me anything you want. Even a coward.”

“You’re only acting friendly with me because you feel guilty. Because I’m pretty sure it isn't my grand looks and attitude that you want to be my friend.”

Alex grinned at him. “Now you're being ridiculous.”

“Am I?” Anthony bristled at the amusement on his face. The jerk actually have the nerve to laugh about this? “Or do you pity me?" he growled. "You and Eliza both pity me right? Because I’m all shades of f****d up and you just want a project to make yourselves feel better.”

Alex lost the grin. He stared at Anthony, his eyes narrowing into tiny slits. “Don’t say that. You’re not f****d up.”

Anthony laughed. “Don’t give me that bullshit.”

He stopped laughing when Alex suddenly closed the distance between them. Alex had his hands clenched at his sides, his face black with fury. It was the second time Anthony had ever seen Alex so angry. And it made him tense up.

Looking squarely into Anthony’s eyes, Alex said, “You know why I want you to be my friend?”

Anthony shook his head carefully.

“That day, Anthony, that day, you came into the locker rooms and they were making fun of a kid.” Alex’s voice was quiet but with an undertone of anger. “You heard the crap they were saying and you remember what you said?”

Anthony shook his head again.

“You said that at the end of the day, some people are just s**t who treat people like s**t. Then you looked at them and said that if they couldn't tell, you were talking about them.”

Damn.

He remembered now.

It wasn't a pleasant memory for him so he repressed it. It was one of the worst beatings he'd received from the sadistic jerks who liked to pick on outsiders and misfits like him.

“Who do you think was that kid, Anthony?”

Anthony could only stare at him as realization dawned. He felt heaviness sink to the pit of his stomach, and regret for the careless words he'd spoken began to trickle through him.

“Out of the fifteen boys who were there in the locker room, you were the only one who stood up for me. Think about that, will you?”

Giving him one last look filled with hurt, Alex left Anthony to think about what he had just learned.

**********

“You want to know why I want you to be my friend too?”

Anthony opened his eyes. He was lying under the shade of a tree in the school fields. Eliza was sitting next to him. He didn’t even hear her come. She had her bento box and another bento box that was clearly bought from the cafeteria on her lap. The latter she set down near him, offering it to him to eat.

“Alex told me what happened,” she told him after she did.

He scowled at her then turned to his side. He didn’t want to be reminded of what happened. Out of all the things he should be feeling right now, he was feeling guilt. And he didn’t want to feel guilt. He didn’t do anything wrong. Hurting Alex’s feelings shouldn’t make him feel like s**t. How many times had Anthony been hurt and rejected by the people around him? It was far more than Alex had experienced in his 17 years of living, for sure.

Anthony liked to think he was giving Alex a lesson in life. But still, guilt crept at him like an overgrown weed. And he didn’t like feeling this way at all.

Realizing Eliza was still there next to him, he muttered in an annoyed tone, “Go away, Rosa.”

“No,” the stubborn girl replied. “It's time you know the truth, Tony.”

He didn’t like the sound of that.

“Like I said, don't call me Tony,” he muttered sullenly.

“Alex had filled me in about what happened at the boy's lockers the night that it happened," she went on, ignoring his order. “He was really disappointed at himself for being weak. You see, he always told me and our parents that he was going to protect me. He has always considered himself as my older brother since we were really young just because he was born a few months earlier before me. But what happened in the locker rooms had served as an eye opener for him. He realized that he couldn't protect anybody. Not if he couldn’t protect you.”

Anthony twisted his neck and looked at her then. She was plucking blades of grass from the ground, lost in her memories.

“So he focused on working on himself. Since then, he jogged every morning. He did push-ups, sit-ups, anything to build his muscles. He ate right. He studied right. Until he was acknowledged by everyone in the school as one of the top students and one of the people you did not mess with, he did not stop pushing himself to the limit.”

She met his eyes then. “Meanwhile, I focused on you.”

“Hell, was that why you kept following me around school since junior high?” he scowled.

She smiled. “I wanted to be the friend of the person my best friend looks up to.”

He shook his head. “I’m not worth looking up to—“

“You were his hero, Anthony. And you still are. You were the one who was there for him when I...” she looked away when her voice broke, her eyes shining. “You kept him from breaking apart. So please don't push him away.”

Anthony’s chest constricted in an unimaginable pain.

Ah, hell, he thought to himself, letting his head fall back on the soft grass. So these were the reasons why they were so invested in him.

This really sucked.

Eliza started to eat her lunch quietly next to him.

Damn but she was annoying.

Alex was also annoying.

But Anthony was most annoyed with himself.

After awhile, he slowly got up and reached for the bento box she bought. There was no use ignoring her. And besides, he was hungry. 

“I’ll pay you back,” he mumbled, taking the lid off.

“There’s no need—“

“I’ll pay you back,” he cut her off in a hard tone.

Eliza shook her head, chuckling. “Alright, Anthony.”

**********

“What are you doing?”

Eliza glanced behind her. Marco was looking at her, his usual impassive face looking curious.

She looked down at the grounds again from the window of her classroom. Her elbows were braced on the frame. “I’m observing,” she answered.

Marco came closer to look out the window and she tensed. “Observing what?”

She forced herself to relax. “Anthony and Alex,” she breathed. He was too close for comfort. “They quarreled this morning and I’m waiting for them to make up.”

Marco didn’t answer. She returned her gaze to Anthony, who had his hands deep in his pockets, staring at Alex, who was drinking from the water fountain, sweaty from afternoon practice.

Eliza hoped that they’d both make up soon. She wasn’t lying when she told Anthony that Alex looked up to him. Frankly, Eliza also admired Anthony. She knew his history, she knew his family. But Anthony was determined not to let all that break him down. He was tough, literally and figuratively, and wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, something Eliza had yet to learn.

She also knew that even though Anthony skipped classes he still had high scores. Though they were not enough to make him get into the top ten, Alex and Eliza were sure he intentionally did not try hard enough to keep himself down low.

“Thank you, Marco,” she found herself whispering.

Marco still heard her anyway. “For what?”

“You know.”

“I won’t know if you won’t tell me, Eliza.”

Eliza glanced at her left and right to see if anyone was near them. Then she looked at Marco over her shoulder and whispered up to him, “For telling Alex about what was happening to Anthony.”

“Ah.” His expression was emotionless as he shrugged his shoulders. “It was nothing. I just knew something was wrong with the way those guys were talking to Anthony.”

“And you were right. So thank you.”

Marco seemed to be uncomfortable with her gratitude. Still, he said, “You’re welcome.”

She smiled and returned her gaze out the window. He seriously was a good person. If he hadn't spotted Anthony and didn’t think of telling Alex about it who knew what could have had happened to Anthony. Manuel wasn’t a good kid. He was a bully, everyone knew that. So Eliza was filled with all kinds of gratitude for Marco for saving Anthony and his leg.

There was frustration in Anthony’s expression, Eliza saw, when he started walked towards Alex. She held her breath and leaned forward.

“Careful, Eliza,” she heard Marco say.

“Shh,” she hushed him. She wanted to focus on her two best friends.

She thought she heard Marco chuckle behind her but she ignored it, so focused on what was happening below. Alex was wiping his face with a towel. He didn't see it coming then. Anthony had twisted the tap, turned it on and hit Alex with the cold blast of water.

“What the hell?” Alex boomed out and Anthony laughed.

“I don't think they made up,” Marco pointed out.

Eliza laughed. “Oh yes they did.” She looked fondly at a soaking Alex who was now chasing a still laughing Anthony. “They just did.”