Til Death Do Us Part

21

The heavy silence is, of course, I know, all men turning to look Jyeon’s way in question that he would act so personally with a spokesperson of a company we haven’t yet taken control of. There’s a process to things, and it’s known that my job as VP is that I should be the one taking her to lunch when the time is right. This raises so many questions for him.

“Claire White? Why is that name familiar?” Yoonha forgets this is a board meeting and verbalizes his thoughts. It's a bad habit he’s had since he was a kid, and it’s why he’s unable ever to keep himself in his own lane when it comes to Jyeon’s and my problems.

“Let’s call it a day and reconvene when we have more definite answers. Sohla, my office. We need to talk about this.”

Jyeon closes us all down, and the murmur of disgruntled board members signals they disagree, they have questions, but they respect him enough to leave it in his hands. His fierce tone tells me I’ve pissed him off, and Yoonha gets up cautiously. Eyes darting between us, and he knows this is something else, something more significant.

“Me too. I want to know what’s happening.” He eyes me and then his brother once more, catching onto the tension, and that stubborn protective side kicks in. He always did play buffer between us, and I love him for it now, even if it’s unwanted.

I get up, pick up my files and lead the way straight to Jyeon’s office. Holding it all in, don’t look back while the room clears and the suited shareholders depart in a flurry of noise. I march right into his space, leaving the voices of him and Yoonha behind me, knowing fine well he won’t let his brother join us. Not when this is about his girlfriend.

I walk over to his desk, throw down my files and wander around before planking myself in his seat and turning to face the cloudy cityscape. Wondering if we will ever see an end to this constant rain and miserable weather of late. It’s been unbreaking for weeks. I feel like it matches my mood, and if I saw the sun just once, maybe I’d be doing better of late.

“What the f**k was that?” Jyeon loses his temper as soon as he storms in and slams the door behind him, banging it hard, so it subtly vibrates the wall on either side and pictures swing, and yet I lose all my fight. My energy dwindles, my head clouds with a sense of cotton wool, and I just can’t face this. I’m battle-worn and weary, and I don’t want to do this with him anymore. It’s hard to come out on top when you’re the only one with invested feelings.

“What’s the relationship between you and her?” I ask blandly, robotically, preparing myself for the worst. I just want the truth, so I know. So I can deal with it and see where I go from here.

“She’s the representative of the company I’m investing billions in. The company that I see as my personal project, my baby. She’s nothing else. Why are you like this?” His anger is evident, with strained words and a fiery aura. His denial, however, wounds me. That he would disrespect the years we have known one another. Despite our rocky romance, we have been business alliances for so long, and he’s usually so blatantly honest on other fronts that this brings my hackles back up, revives my fight or flight instinct fiercely. It would show a modicum of respect for me if he didn’t lie to my face so blatantly.

“You know, if you get caught f*****g an employee from that company, it’s all over for you and them. It’s gross negligence and misuse of power. She’ll lose her job and her reputation, and you’ll lose your seat on OLO for a million legal and ethical reasons. You’re a married man to the VP of your own company.” It’s a warning, my only real way of digging my claws into him because I know an emotional plea will do nothing. It’s not like he’s afraid of losing my love or our marriage.

“Sohla!” His warning tone through gritted teeth only fuels me on.

“It would bring the entire deal into question, about your motives and hers, and exactly what private deals you two made between the sheets. Don’t you think?” I add it with venom avoiding his eye and yet feeling his gaze burning into my side profile as I stare blankly ahead. My eyes are misting over, and yet I feel dead inside. It’s not the satisfying deliverance of a blow I thought it would be.

“I can’t believe you’re threatening me. You really have sunk that low, huh? What is it? That you don’t control me? Or is it that you see her as a threat? It’s all in your head, and you should see about that……. Get out. This is pointless and stupid. Don’t make problems where there isn’t any.” Jyeon turns on his heel to storm away as he does anytime we have conflict, yet I’m not done. Biting down, refusing to be shaken.

“She shouldn’t buy expensive presents for you that leave paper trails if you don’t want to get caught. One of a kind custom leather jackets from a place that easily hands out information about its buyers.” I lie through my teeth and snort sadly as he pauses mid-step, his whole body taut in an instant, and I know I hit that hammer right on the nail. His back to me, but I can tell his jaw is tensing, and he’s trying to formulate a response or an excuse.

He stands there, and I sit here, and the silence stretches only seconds, but it feels like hours. It’s an admission of guilt, whether it seems that way or not. If she’s buying him those kinds of gifts, this is more than a business alliance. He wore it right in front of me to take her for lunch. Even if he’s not yet screwing her, the emotional affair has already begun.

“I’m not having an affair. This is all in your head, and I’m done talking about it. Believe what you want, but this conversation is over.” Jyeon stalks off towards his changing room, and I know he’ll slam the door and lock it tight and not come out until I’m gone. He can’t admit it because he knows I’m right. This is a weapon I could use to destroy him and her. I just hoped he would be honest with me for the sake of how we used to be.

My hands are shaking in my lap, and my legs are too weak to take my weight, so I give myself a few minutes. Swallowing to bring back the moisture in my mouth as my body vibrates, I blink rapidly to curb the tears threatening to come. There’s a damn building inside of me that’s fit to bursting, and yet I somehow find the ability to keep it suppressed. It’s an acute type of pain, similar to the day I found out my parent’s died and yet somehow different. Somehow more devastating.

I don’t know how I find the strength to get up and walk out of there, but I do. I don’t stop when I hit the foyer, and I carry on to the elevators in a state of trance and a blank expression, taking nothing in. Everything feels like it’s tumble down, and I can’t breathe properly.

I somehow make it to the parking garage as though I blinked, and I was here, holding it all tight and stumbling to my car, beeping it open and sliding in as my legs finally cave. I close my eyes and rest my face on the steering wheel and try to breathe through my anxiety attack, everything heavy and unresponsive, while deep in my heart, I know he’s lying to me.

I fumble for my cell phone, and I pull up a search page, keeping it low on my knees, so my steering wheel continues to support me by my forehead, and I type in the words ‘private investigator’. I am close to crying for the first time in a long time and hesitate to press on the links.

I didn’t lie about needing a team to investigate the plausibility of Biochem. I won’t give that b***h a single cent of OLO’s money before I know for sure what is going on between them. If it’s what I suspect, I will tear her down and rip her out of that company and rake her through hot coals for daring to walk into my life and muscle her way in. I won’t lay still and have him ruin me in yet another way after everything I sacrificed for him.

Jyeon will pay in other ways, but first, I need proof that I’m not insane, and this is not in my head. That my heart, in all her stupidity, loves that man, and she knows when something is deeply wrong.