Death Defiant

Chapter 3

TRISTAN

I was having a drink in purgatory when my phone began to ring. Checking the caller id, the screen flashed i***t #1, Ethan. The bartender, Sher, raised her eyebrow at me.

“You gonna answer that?” I shook my head. Work had been a shitshow today, and by work, I meant my mortal work, not my immortal work. Ethan and Caden may be content to be working at a grocery store, but I hadn’t been; I had never been fine with just doing regular jobs; it just wasn’t in my nature as Famine. I always wanted, no needed, more, usually to the brink of excess. Which was exactly why I was on my fifth drink here, and Sher had already cut me off and instituted a water break for me. Just for a little while before I went back to the good stuff.

A snort sounded to my right, and I glared down at Ember, who was pushing my phone toward me as it was still vibrating with the call. She then began to hop on the screen, attempting to unlock it. About the size of a small house cat, eight pounds, give or take, Ember was one of the many imps running around purgatory and probably the most annoying. Picking her up by the back of her neck, I held her out to Sher, her arms and legs swinging as she dangled there, twisting and turning with anger at me.

“You really need to do something about this imp problem.” I stated evenly, holding the infuriating creature out to Sher. She took her, placing the small imp on her shoulder where she sat, like a parrot, and began to chew on Sher’s hair. I wrinkled my nose, nasty little thing. Sher just smiled indulgently and filled my water glass, Ember chattering away at me angrily, like a squirrel. Sher was the quiet type, her ebony skin smooth and her hair a dark halo around her head. She sometimes had it braided, but today it was wild like a lion’s mane. A look that was in direct contrast to her personality but suited her nonetheless. She had a decorative scarf loosely tied around her head today. It drooped in the front covering her left eye, which was no longer there. She typically wore an eye patch, but I supposed she had wanted to change it up. Ember was clambering around her back, headed to her other shoulder, when a light show began. I rolled my eyes, knowing exactly what was coming next.

“Guten taaaaaggggg!!!” A loud voice called moments before the thump of bass hit, and the light show intensified. I sighed, running my hands through my hair and waiting it out. Sher continued doing what she was doing while Ember hopped off her shoulder and began to gyrate lewdly against my glass. I thumped the little demon in the forehead, and she squeaked, running out of reach to continue humping whatever she could find. A loud pop alerted me to the fact that the light show was thankfully over, and now I had company.

I eyed the Grim Reaper, annoyed I had to share my hideout with him at this moment. This was one of the lesser-known places in purgatory, and I liked my solitude after being in the spotlight; after all I needed to recharge. Typically Grim Reapers were fine, they left you alone, were quiet and they preferred solitude. So even if you were in the same room as them you would never know it; unless you were with this asshat. Which of course it was. He sat perched on the stool next to me, his legs primly crossed and his black robe pooling around them. The toes of his boots stuck out, and I noticed today he had chosen glittery black pointy toe stiletto boots. A less offensive choice than typical I noted. His scythe, Alice, was leaning up against the bar, a glittery black ribbon wrapped around her handle and tied in an oversize bow at the top. She was clean, so he hadn’t just come from a reaping, thankfully. His horse, errr unicorn, Senor Sparkles, was wandering around. After all, everyone was welcome here and you couldn’t exactly turn away a Reaper’s mount, especially when the bar was open air with no walls or ceilings, just quite literally a bar.

Ember hopped up on Senor Sparkles and grabbed a fistful of his rainbow mane, her other hand waving in the air as she mimicked riding a bull, yelling "giddyup!" I rolled my eyes, truly surrounded by idiots. The unicorn reared and bucked, clearly not enjoying himself and Ember went flying, hitting the side of the bar with a splat before sliding down it. Hans took this all in before reaching into his bag, which looked suspiciously like a purse, and pulling out knitting needles and brightly colored yarn.

“Would you like a scarf Tristan?” He asked, his skeletal eyes locking with mine.

“I’ll pass,” I said, waving Sher over. I had drunk enough water; if I was going to survive the next five minutes with this i***t circus, I needed something stronger. She prowled over, as her kind did, a knowing smile on her lips. Without even asking she swapped the glasses out, and I was grateful for it. The tang of the drink hit my tongue and I almost moaned in relief, this was what I needed after today.

“What about you Hans?” Sher was asking the Reaper, “can I get you anything?”

“Ah yes. Can I please have a Limbo Lightning, and for him?” he jerked his head to Senor Sparkles, “Five hell tacos, with the sauce of tormented souls on the side please.” Tacos did sound pretty damn good right now, not that I’d admit it, and this place had the best hell tacos this side of, well, hell. Purgatory was the first circle of hell, and I honestly preferred it here than the other circles. Circles two through nine had themes to them, lust, anger, violence, fraud, gluttony. It was like being at a giant themed party, only a lot less fun and without the costumes. Hans was sipping his drink, his f*****g pinkie in the air while his unicorn nosed around the area, waiting for his tacos. A weight on my leg caught my attention as Ember was trying to simultaneously hump, and claw her way up my pant leg. Irritated, I grabbed her and held her out to Sher.

“Do something about this.” I said through gritted teeth. Holding the small imp out to her to take.

“Now that's not very nice.” Hans said, holding his hands out to take her. “It’s not her fault she’s in the wrong spot is it Ember?” He cooed at the creature, she shook her head and leaped to his shoulder. Ember was one weird imp, she was supposed to be in the second circle of hell, lust; but for some reason seemed to reside in purgatory and no one really knew why. Other than she had taken up with Sher and hung around the bar a lot, no one knew where she went when she disappeared though; which I wished she would do right about now. I raised my eyebrows, studying the infernal imp, she knew more than she was letting on; despite being a horny little psycho most of the time. She also wore some of the weirdest s**t I had ever seen. Today, she was dressed in a sailors outfit, complete with a tiny skirt that showed most of her ass. The hat was secured to the side of her head and her dark hair was coiffed neatly, completing the look. This was much better than the last time I saw her, when she was in nothing but a thong, pasties, and some sneakers.

“Wrong spot or not, I don’t need a wet spot from her on my leg today.” I stated as my phone began to ring again. This time i***t #2, or Caden, showed up on my caller id. They didn’t usually call this often or this insistently. Reluctantly, I answered the phone, moving off the stool and a few steps away.