Don't forget

Stop that

A subtle click snaps me back from the thoughts that attempted to drag me to the dark places I’ve been trying to escape from.

I’m not entirely sure about the reasoning behind this boy bringing a tally counter to class, but the occasional sound it makes has helped me through the most boring classes I’ve had to attend.

“Hey” I hear a voice whisper behind me.

By looking over my shoulder I can tell that someone is talking to the cause of the clicking sound.

“Yes?” The raven-haired boy in question asks quietly in response.

No one seemed to have a problem with him using the counter, but, apparently, someone seems to be annoyed.

“Stop that.” A blond guy requests politely, trying his best to not be caught chatting by the teacher.

“Sure, sorry” The other replies shyly, looking down to his hands under the desk and probably fumbling the counter between his shaky fingers.

I look back to the front, asking myself if I should break my promise and talk to him after class or if I should just find another way to keep me in reality without being a nuisance for my classmates.

As the teacher finishes wrapping up the lesson and we’re freed by the bell, I choose to go for the first option.

“Eric” I say, turning around to face the hesitant boy behind me.

He immediately freezes. It takes him a couple of seconds to look back at me, but I wait patiently for his response.

“D-Did I irritated you with the clicking as well?” Guilt is clear in his voice and in his brown eyes as he asks that.

I shake my head and stand up. “Not at all. I was just wondering what’s that for.”

The skinny guy sighs deeply, scratching the back of his head as if he felt ashamed of the honest answer to my questioning.

“It has a really dumb meaning, but it’s become really important for me.” He admits as he shrugs, his attention going back to putting all the stuff over his desk inside the backpack he’s holding.

“If it’s important for you, don’t let someone else ruin that for you. Plus, I’m pretty sure that guy Nathan doesn’t really like you.” The words come out of my mouth before I can even get to control them —maybe I didn’t even try.

Eric smiles back at me. “You barely ever talk to people, don’t you?”

I purse my lips together but decide to ignore what he’s just said.

Instead of replying, I simply say my goodbyes and turn around to pack my belongings.

Even though I’ve got nothing against making friends, time has taught me that’s better to keep my distance.

The hallway welcomes me with a bunch of students talking nonsense. As I walk through the crowd, I try to focus on nothing but the present in order to remain conscious.

Small details are the ones I find peace in since they remind me that I’m actually living outside my own memories.

It’s all going good until a very specific sound triggers one of the worst images my mind has registered: screeching metal.

Suddenly, my vision blurs completely and the images start forming right in front of me.

My heart beating faster is the last thing I hear before getting completely immersed into what sometimes feels like a nightmare.

I soon feel myself running down the hallway in my old school, trying to evade the guys that would find joy in my suffering.

Escaping was a possibility at the time. Now, however, I know perfectly that there was no way out of it; even if I hadn’t slipped and fallen over the floor.

The leader of the group would keep a key over the metal surface of the lockers as he approached me.

As I try to get up, a heavy hand over my back pushes my body to the ground again.

Their laughs make a numbing echo in my ears as I shut my eyes and wish I could just ignore everything I’m hearing.

The conscious part of my brain desperately looks for something to snap me out of it before the worst part begins, but its attempts are to no avail. They’ve already started punching, kicking, yelling at me.

Everything has gone pitch black as the pain and frustration grows in my chest. The aggressions continue without allowing me to stop them.

My knees go weak and it’s until I’m about to fall that the memory stops.

“Are you ok?” Eric asks while keeping my body from touching the floor underneath us.

I take a deep breath while focusing on whatever I can in order to not lose it again.

“Yeah, thank you.”

Although his worrisome features disappear after hearing my answer, he keeps holding my arm firmly as we start walking towards the exit.

“I go back home by foot; do you want to come?” He invites with a warm yet small smile.

I shake my head slowly and point at a blue bike amongst others as I reply, “I have to get home early today, maybe another day?”

“Sure.” Eric agrees with no further questions, standing by my side while I unlock the chain that kept my bike from being stolen.

“Do you happen to have some earphones I could borrow?” I ask, putting my dark helmet on.

He takes his time to look inside his backpack. “The left one doesn’t work, but you can have them.” He informs, handing them to me.

“Really? Thank you.” It takes the most of my energy to make my voice sound friendly. By the growth of his smile I can tell I have achieved that.

“No problem, Noah. See you tomorrow.”

He waves his hand before walking away to the east.

A sigh of relief escapes my lips as I take out my phone to plug my not-so-new earphones in. The small attack I had back in the hallway wouldn’t have happened if I had been listening to music. There are a few songs in my playlist that can distract my mind enough to ignore most of the things that could trigger a memory.

Sadly, my headphones broke during the last weekend when an aunt came over to the house and brought his tiny machine of destruction also known as Corey, the chihuahua.

Of course, she promised to buy new ones for me, but that may take her a couple of weeks; which I wouldn’t have survived If it wasn’t for Eric Ashby.

I should probably at least buy him lunch once.