Roman

2 - So much to think about

Marley

It wasn’t supposed to be like this, my life. I wasn’t supposed to be running from the past, and the hell I lived for too long thanks to my father’s debts to a man... No, to a monster who gave not one shi.t for anyone else but himself. I was meant to be his plaything. I guess that’s a good word for what I was to him. I managed to get away from him. Doing so took a lot of strength, but I did it.

However, I wasn’t supposed to find a stranger in the woods, bleeding, dying. I wasn’t supposed to save him, and I certainly wasn’t supposed to get tangled up in MC life again. In saving the stranger in the woods, my monster found me again, and he did far worse than shoot and stab me. He almost killed me this time.

For two years, I had hidden from him. For two years, I had stayed alone in a place I believed he wouldn’t find me. It would never have been far enough. However, I knew he would track me somehow.

Luckily for me, I stumbled upon an old, abandoned cabin in the woods.

Sounds like a film, right?

Yet it’s true. I broke in and made it my home. No one ever came around, so I guessed it really was abandoned. I fixed it up and made it livable. I figured that if anyone came around, I’d tell them I’d lost my way and was just stopping by for the night. If they questioned me, I would run.

I learned how to grow vegetables and hunt for meat. Kind of like a wild savage, but I learned how to take care of myself. I didn’t care about anything else because I was free.

For two years, I was safe from the monsters that were Devils Roadkill MC. Safe until the dying stranger in the woods.

I was once a Doctor of Medicine. Well, okay, almost. I was a resident doctor, a good one with a promising future in medicine. I lost that when my father traded me.

However, I put my knowledge to good use when I helped my stranger. I fixed him up and ensured he got well enough to go home to the woman he loved.

I shouldn’t have taken his message to his MC. I was terrified. I ran from one club just to walk into another. But I would have done anything for Wrench, anything to get him back to his love.

I may have been scared, but Snakes Henchmen MC was nothing like Devils Roadkill MC. The bikers of Snakes Henchmen respected their women, took care of their children, and protected them all in the name of their club. Wrench wasn’t lying when he told me that.

So, I delivered Wrench’s message and brought his biker family to my cabin to take him home, and I thought that would be the end of that.

I didn’t even want to think about the man who captured my attention like no other ever had the second I saw him. But then there he was, and I knew I would never be the same.

Roman was his name. A sinfully handsome man with the greenest eyes I had ever seen. His body was packing tight muscle, the kind a wrestler would have, all bumps and perfection. He was handsome to a fault, and all I wanted was to feel his lips against mine just once.

Hearing Roman’s voice did wicked things to my body, things I didn’t even know I could feel. My body lit up around him, and I couldn’t understand why. I was attracted to him, but I was scared of him at the same time. Maybe I was just afraid of the power he had over me so quickly.

After Roman and his crew took Wrench home, I thought that would be the end of it; I would never see them again. I was wrong.

Roman came back a couple of times just to check on me, he said. He could make me smile like no other, and strangely, he didn’t expect anything from me, just the pleasure of my company, he said. It was wonderful to be able to laugh, to joke, to talk to a man that I felt a connection with. I hadn’t felt that kind of connection since... I won’t go there.

As Roman left the last time he visited me, he kissed me, and it was the best kiss I had ever had. I couldn’t deny it even if I wanted to.

Se.x frightened me, so I knew I couldn’t sleep with Roman. I knew he wanted me; only an i***t wouldn’t have realized that. However, he didn’t push me; he just took my face between his hands and told me to call him if I needed anything and that he would be back again soon. He wrote his number on a piece of paper and left.

Right then, I felt something growing between us. I wasn’t sure what it was or why it was happening, but deep down, I wanted to be Roman’s. I knew I would be safe with him, loved even.

Though, I knew it could never happen. I had lived that life before, and it was hell on earth. Even though I knew Roman would never mistreat me, I had nothing to offer him. I had nothing to call my own, and my body was destroyed long ago by a psycho who didn’t know his ass from his elbow.

What man would find a mass of scars attractive on a woman?

On himself or his Brothers?

Battle Scars.

A woman’s body?

Repugnant.

Not even the man I left behind, the man I thought was the love of my life when I was younger, would want me now. I don’t think about him any longer; I buried him a long time ago, along with my dreams.

Bulldog, the man who once owned me, my monster, my tormentor, my pimp, found out where I was.

How?

I don’t know. I’d wager a guess that he followed Roman, or maybe he saw me driving back from Wrench’s place one day. I went there one more time after Wrench left, a couple of weeks after. Elie, his fiancée, wanted to meet me. She wanted to thank me for saving Wrench’s life. I didn’t want thanks, and I didn’t want to go, but Wrench begged me, and Roman said I would be safe, so I went.

It was nice to meet Elie, a beautiful girl who was so in love with Wrench. She hugged me so hard. It had been a long time since anyone hugged me like that. I held onto her for a while because it felt like I was holding my little sister. Not that I have one of those, but if I did, I imagine that’s what it would have felt like. Then Elie and I talked and laughed until I decided it was time to go home.

I never made it there.

Around halfway back to my cabin, my car was stopped abruptly by bikers – bikers I had wished I would never see again. They were all around me, behind me, beside me, in front of me. I was terrified because I recognized their cuts right away. Devils Roadkill. They’d found me, and they were there to take me back with them. God only knew what Bulldog would do to me for escaping.

Bulldog was there, of course, and he dragged me from my car by my hair. I didn’t scream because I knew that would be futile. Nothing would save me from what was coming.

Bulldog beat the hell out of me, and then fucke.d me right there against my car, in front of everyone, just like the whor.e I once was to him. He was never bothered by who saw him taking what he deemed his. He didn’t give a damn who saw me like that, nor who saw the damage he’d done to me. Those sick bastards all got off on it.

When Bulldog had finished humiliating me, he told me to get the fuc.k on the back of his bike because he was taking me with him. I got on the back of that bike without question.

What else could I do?

I had no way of outrunning them, and definitely not when they all carried guns. There were six of them there that day, and not one of them tried to help me.

I expected nothing less when I knew how loyal they were to Bulldog. They all did whatever he told them to do, and they gave not one damn about me.

Bulldog took me back to the Devils Roadkill clubhouse, the place that had been my prison for so long. I was made an example of in front of the whole club. Every member, Prospect, Old Lady, and even club whor.e gathered in the center of the main bar room, and they watched as Bulldog tore my shirt from my body. A Prospect then held my hands together, my arms out in front of me, as Bulldog whipped me with his bullwhip ten times. I bit back the screams, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of hearing them, but it was hard.

Once the whipping was over, Bulldog took me to his room where he forced me to suck his coc.k before he ripped the rest of my clothes from and fucke.d me all night long. He never wore condoms, but he never came inside of me, either. That’s not what you do with a who.re – whores are for ejaculatin.g all over like the filth they are, or so he once told me.

Bulldog finally passed out in the early hours, and I was left sore, and in so much pain I could hardly move. I felt hopeless, and I cried my heart out. I had fought so hard to get away from him, yet there I was, right back where I started with no hope of escaping again. I knew then that Bulldog would keep me under lock and key, and there would never be any way of me leaving. He’d kill me first.

Bulldog was old enough to be my father and then some. Fifty-odd years old – I never did know his actual age – to my twenty-six years. Bulldog rarely washed, his teeth were falling out his head from the rot in his gums, and having his old hands on me and his mouth all over me was enough to make me vomit. I never understood how he could go all night, but I guess it was the enhancing drugs he took.

How else would it explain it?

The following day, Bulldog allowed me to shower. It was agony; every part of me hurt. Bulldog told me that he had club business to attend to, and I was to be locked inside his room until he returned. He would feed me if I were a good girl; if not, I’d starve. I knew he meant it; he always meant what he said.

Bulldog told me that if I needed him for any reason, there would be a Prospect right outside the door. All I had to do was knock on it, and the Prospect would help me. I merely nodded and watched him leave.

Bulldog made one mistake that day – a mistake I picked up on even before he left the room, an error that changed all our lives. He left his cell on the bed. I knew in my heart that I had approximately two minutes before he realized it was gone and would be back for it, and I wasted no fuckin.g time at all in dialing the one number I had memorized off by heart. Roman’s. I only prayed he’d pick up.

He did. However, he snarled because he thought I was Bulldog. I rushed to make him listen and to be understood. I didn’t give him a chance to answer; I just rattled off what had happened, where I was, and what Bulldog was doing and would continue to do to me should Roman not help me before I told him not to call back because Bulldog would kill me. Then, I ended the call and erased the number from the phone. I placed it back on the bed just in time to hear the lock turn on the door. I rushed to lie down.

Bulldog looked at me lying there, and he actually smiled. Freak. I’d managed to push the cell slightly under the shirt Bulldog had left on the bed, just sticking out enough for him to see it and to make it look like I hadn’t seen it. He took it and, without a word, left again.

Two hours later, the clubhouse was ablaze. People were screaming, running for their lives with no way out. I hadn’t a clue what had happened. All I knew was that I was going to die locked in that room.

I heard gunshots as I pushed a blanket against the bottom of the door to slow the smoke filtering into the room. Why in the hell there were no windows, I don’t know. However, I didn’t panic; if it was to be my end, then I would go out sleeping on the bed. That way, I wouldn’t feel much of anything. So, I took myself over there, lay down, and closed my eyes.

I drifted in and out of consciousness, but I could hear voices and feel hands on me. However, I couldn’t make anything out; it was too dark, hot, and close.

I woke up in a different room, in a cleaner place — Roman’s bedroom. I shot up in bed, and he was there to catch me. He held me tightly while telling me how he’d taken me from Bulldog’s room and brought me to his clubhouse. A doctor had checked me over and told him that I was going to be okay; I didn’t have smoke inhalation because Roman got me out in time.

The clubhouse had burned down to the ground because Hawk, one of Roman’s Brothers, his cousin by blood, had set it alight while the rest of them went through the place and killed every remaining member of the MC.

Most were asleep with their whore.s or women. Even they were put down like dogs. Bulldog had fought back and shot an older member of Roman’s MC, but he’d live, nothing life-threatening. Shepard, President of Roman’s MC, finally ended Bulldog’s life with a bullet through his godforsaken chest. Then, once the Snakes were out of the building, they blew it to smithereens.

I cried because I was finally free. Devils Roadkill MC Tennessee Charter was no more. That monster couldn’t hurt me ever again, and I had the beautiful biker in front of me to thank for that.

That’s when I asked Roman to make love to me, to make me forget everything Bulldog had ever done to me. If Roman had been anyone else, there is no way on this earth I would have let him kiss me, let alone ask him to have se.x with me. However, with Roman, I felt safer than I ever had in my life before.

Roman grabbed the hem of my t-shirt so he could undress me, but I stopped him. I couldn’t take my shirt off in front of him. I couldn’t let him see what lay beneath. But I shucked off my jeans and panties and pushed his hand between my legs, telling him to feel how wet he made me.

Roman kissed me, and we looked into each other’s eyes the whole time we were making love. I’d never felt anything like it before. It was special and perfect, everything I had ever imagined it would be with a man.

When it was over, he held me so tight, and I felt so safe. He whispered in my ear how he’d take care of me, how he’d protect me, how I was his now, and no one would dare touch me if they wanted to live.

I wanted to be his. God, did I want to be his, but it wouldn’t and couldn’t happen. I couldn’t stay with him. I was too messed up inside even to try, and he deserved more than I could have given him.

So, while Roman slept, I showered away the evidence of what we’d done. I cried my heart out in that shower because I had to go, and go I did. In the very early hours, I kissed Roman’s head, whispering my thanks, and left his room.

I encountered the VP, Jett. He’d come to the clubhouse early, leaving his young family at home. The President of the club is Jett’s father, and as he would be out for a while due to his youngest daughter being so ill, it was down to Jett to make sure everyone knew what was what. He asked me why I was leaving. I told him the truth, and he gave me a ride out of town.