Painful Pleasures

Gretchen

CHAPTER 7

Penthouse.

He lives in a penthouse.

Wiping my tears, I watch as Ethan parks outside a huge, black building of over 50 storeys high.

I was going to protest, tell him to take me home so I could scream and trash everything but he looked tense already and there was another guy in the passenger seat, plus the grocery bags here.

Not wanting to intrude I keep quiet as he shuts off the engine and climbs out, opening the back door immediately and stretching out his hand for me.

Once I'm outside, he holds me close as we walk towards the elevator and I try to pretend that his warmth and that aftershave scent is not pulling me close like a magnet.

His friend follows behind us, carrying a load of grocery bags as we get in and everyone is quiet for the entire ride up to the 20th floor.

When we get to the door, his friend unlocks it while he turns to me, gently grasping my face in his hands.

"Are you okay?" He says, eyes searching mine.

"Yes." I lie.

He frowns at me.

"You're lying."

"I just need a moment, okay. Can I use your bathroom?" I ask honestly.

I really just need to let this entire charade sink in. I still couldn't believe this had happened....three years of my life had been an entire lie.

Ethan hesitates a moment before saying, "Yeah, sure. Just follow me."

And he walks in with me following right behind, clutching my arms around me.

He leads me up a short staircase and down a hallway into a room that I am positive is his.

Its absolutely white and black here. A black lush rug on the floor with white bed sheets and pillows, black silk curtains and two white cushion chairs.

"Here." He says and opens motions to a door.

"Thanks." I say and he looks like he is about to say something but just nods instead and leaves.

Ethan's POV

I contemplate standing outside and waiting for her and decide to just go downstairs where Trevor is putting away the groceries.

"How is she?" He asks, piling jars into the fridge.

"Quiet, shut out. She won't even look at me."

"Well, she just got harrassed by a weirdo, you can't blame her."

"Not just a weirdo," I say as I run my hands through my hair,

"Her ex-boyfriend." And Trevor turns to look at me with his jaw dropped.

"What? That's a sickening bastard."

"Yeah, you don't know half of the terrible thing he did to her." I say, staring at my knuckles that were slightly bruised.

"I knew that punch had a history." Trevor says as he keeps loading the fridge.

"I'm going to check on her." I say, already heading up the stairs.

When I get to the front of the room, I hesitate.

Was she going to chase me again?

What had he been demanding?

Taking a deep breath, I open the door and walk in. Sure enough, she is sitting on the edge of the bed, looking down with her hair all over her face.

I'm beginning to suspect it's a habit she does when she's sad.

"Hey." She says when I walk in, looking up at me.

"You're not gonna throw a tennis ratchet at me, right?" I say as I linger at the door, waiting to see her reaction to my lame attempt of easing her up.

Laughter.

She was laughing, surprising me. I had never heard her laugh. It was like her name...short and sweet.

Taking the opportunity, I sit next to her.

"I'm sorry. I hope I'm not making your roommate uncomfortable." She says.

"Who, Trevor? He doesn't mind, he makes me uncomfortable."

I say and she giggles again.

Progress then.

"Want to talk about it?" I probe, silently praying this is not another spell that can break.

She shrugs but doesn't look away from her hands on her lap as she says,

"It doesn't really bother me, it's just this is the first time he has ever come to my school and it's to take back a gift."

Asshole.

"Not that I'm still clinging to him, don't get me wrong. But you'd think someone like that would have remorse but he is just a jerk."

"Forget the d**k. He's a douche. He's a d**k douche." I say and she giggles as she turns to face me, finally. Her feisty eyes are dull and I want to punch him again.

"Thanks for punching him." She says and I tuck her hair behind an ear.

"I'd do it again in a heartbeat." I say, still holding her gaze.

Green eyes...nose...

Lips...

God. Her lips.

How had I never noticed that?

Wait, are they coming closer or I was leaning in...

No. No, she is vulnerable now. Move away. Move away!

But before I can, she stops and suddenly gets up.

"I should get back to my dorm." She says and I get up.

"Will you please drive me?" She asks and I nod.

"Ofcourse. Get your shopping bags, I'll be waiting downstairs." I say and leave the room. Once I'm downstairs, I take a deep breath.

"What happened to you?" Trevor asks, studying me warily as he gets rid of the grocery bags.

"I nearly made a mistake." I mutter and he stops and stares at me.

Not again.

"You killed her this time, didn't you? Snapped her neck like a carrot when she proclaimed love for another."

He says and I can't help but smile at his lame explanation.

"Shut up, Trevor." I say with a smile and April walks down the stairs, shopping bags in hand. Her hair is in a tight ponytail and her face looks brighter.

"I'm ready." She says, then her eyes dart to Trevor.

"You must be Trevor." She says with a smile,

"I'm April."

Trevor's amused grin only widens the more as he walks over to shake her hand.

"Nice to meet you. Sorry I didn't join to knock out that fuckboy but I used my telepathic powers to make Ethan do it." He says and then she laughs.

That soft laughter.

"You're quite the joker." She says and Trevor shrugs as he responds,

"Just trying to impress a lady with powers." He says and winks as me.

Oy, Trevor.

April turns to me.

"Powers?"

"Ignore him. He gets automatic hormone surges when he sees a woman." I say and April giggles again before heading for the door.

"Bye, Trevor." She says, waving as we leave. The ride down the elevator is quiet and even on the way to her dorm.

She had gotten protective again, I could tell because of the tense way she sat and stared out the window, because of the way she pressed back any whisper of stray hair that evaded from the tight ponytail.

When we get to her dorm, I shut the engine and turn to her as she starts getting her bags.

"Thanks." She says with her hand already on the door handle.

"April--"

"Can I have my phone back, please?" She says, turning to me but avoiding my eyes.

Look at me. I want to beg, but instead I dig my hand in my back pocket and hand her the phone.

She wanted it back.

Meaning she had avoided it to avoid him.

And now there was nothing to avoid.

Now there was no reason for me to reach her.

"Thanks." She says and opens the door.

"April--"

"Bye, Ethan." And she is gone.

April's POV

Stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Its all I can think of as I open my door to find a sleeping Gretchen on the bed.

Sighing, I drop my bags and change my lamp shade. Just as I take my shoes off, I hear it.

Is that...sniffing?

"Gretchen?" I ask, just to be sure and sure enough, her shoulders are shaking. I'm at her bed in an instant

"Oh, God. Gretchen what's wrong?" I ask as I turn her over to face me and hold back a gasp at how sad she looks.

Her eyes are red and her face is tear streaked as she sniffs then sits up.

I can't believe it.

Gretchen...the non-stop happy and caring girl is crying her wits out.

"What happened?" I ask, my voice cracking at the end.

"Nothing...it's just..." She trails off and looks down and I notice that she's clutching something to her chest.

"What's this?" I ask and pry it from her fingers carefully as I look at it there are two girls in the picture...about the age of 9 and 6 with one looking older than the other.

Frowning, I tried to tell them apart but it was hard to know which was Gretchen. They both had big bright smiles, clinging to each other with the same black hair and dark eyes.

"It's my older sister. She died today's date but 10 years ago. That picture was taken 4 years before she died. She had leukemia and I barely had time to spend with her. She was in the hospital nonstop from one chemotherapy to the other."

I stay silent..listening. Letting her talk and say everything even though tears have clouded my eyes already.

"I wanted to be there for her, I did. But there was nothing I could do, I couldn't take care of her or sacrifice something for her...nothing. Every time we visited she looked worse and we had very few chances to talk. And then one day we went to visit but they won't let me in. My mum had cried and cried and I just knew. I wanted to be there for her but I couldn't and that's why--"

"That's why you're always so bothered about me." I mutter, tears already streaking down my face as remember her panic stricken face when I had attack, her care to buy me food.....everything.

"Gretchen I'm so sorry. For everything. For your sister, and my terrible behaviour." I say to her.

"I just wish I had the opportunity to help more you know?" She says and I pull her into my arms as she cries.

I didn't want to say anything now, let her just cry it out. For 15 minutes, I'm clutching her to me and when she looks up, she looks tired and relieved in a way.

"I'm sorry for covering your shirt with tears and snot." She says but I just shake my head and wipe her eyes.

"Your sister loves you, Gretchen. Okay? I bet she knows you tried your best and sometimes, some things are just beyond our control. She may be gone but she still lives in your heart, and that's what makes you the better person you are now. Okay?"

I say, surprising myself at my words as Gretchen nods and we hug again.

Just then, her tummy rumbles and she laughs.

"God, I'm starving." She says as she wipes her eyes.

"You have no idea." I say, realising I hadn't had a bite apart from the coffee I bought before I went shopping.

"Let's clean up and we'll grab a bite." She says as she stands up and laughs at her image in the mirror.

"God that's frightening." She says and we both laugh. As she brushes her hair and wipes her face, I repack my ponytail. All the while, I can't help but think that somehow, Gretchen and I have gotten even closer.