Painful Pleasures

the kiss

CHAPTER 9

Ethan's POV

"She still asleep?" Trevor asks as he walks over to me in the kitchen and pours himself a cup of coffee.

Nodding, I look out the window. The pain had returned overnight, after I left April to sleep.

Somehow, I couldn't get into bed with her. A girl hadn't been on my bed in...ages. And there she was, hair cascaded over the white pillows, her gown had gone higher and I had covered her with a blanket and left.

I couldnt.

I couldn't stay in bed with her...not in my bed.

Seeing her on the bed got me thinking, remembering and just like that...it was there. In my chest. Constricting, aching and then I hadn't slept at all.

"You okay? You look...stressed." Trevor says, drinking his coffee.

"It's the aching." I say and he frowns.

"You didn't stay--"

"No. I couldn't. Not on my bed." I say pouring away the rest of my coffee. My chest was tightening by the minute.

"Ethan." He says and I turn to him. His amusing look is gone and he looks serious.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I couldn't stay with her."

"And why not?"

"Because--"

"Because she is a girl?" He asks, frowning at me and I know he is one second from scolding me.

"Because she was on my bed. You should know by now Trevor, I've never been able to go past that."

"This is the same girl that you knocked out two guys for, remember? That let you stay in bed with her when she didn't even know your name."

"It's different."

"No. Its not." He says and then pours coffee into another cup and hands it to me.

"Now you go upstairs and check on her and for God's sake, just don't over think." He says.

Sighing, I grab the cup and go upstairs. When I walk into my room, she is sitting up with her hair down, staring around like she was looking for something.

Her eyes set on me and I watch relief settle in them.

"Ethan. Oh, thank God. I knew this was your room but then...."

"I wasn't here." I mutter as I walk in and sit next to her.

"I'm so sorry for calling you last night when I was flat out drunk." She says and covers her face with her hands.

She remembered.

"Hey. I'm not complaining." I say and hand her the coffee.

"You hit a guy, right? Or I was dreaming." She says as she takes the cup.

"He was asking for it." I say with a shrug and she gives a half smile as she drinks from the cup.

"God, my head hurts." She says and I'm trying with everything in me to stop staring at her cleavage.

"What happened? Why were you at a party? Why did you drink so much." I ask, observing her face closely as I watch emotions play over them.

She sets the cup down and shakes her head.

"I don't want to talk about it." She says and my first instinct is to just let it go, but if I don't keep talking, I won't stop staring.

"You do know you told me about your ex right?" I say and she nods a little.

"I think I remember, but this..." She shakes her head and looks at me,

"This is so much worse." She says and surprises me by leaning on me. Her touch is like a charm, putting me in a spell of warmth.

"It has too much history." She says, clutching me and I hold her, knowing this isn't healthy.

I was vulnerable with her holding me in that dress. And she was vulnerable.

We stay like that for a minute and I can feel common sense fading away.

Please let go, April.

Please.

Her silence is unnerving and I silently pray she is crying so I would have the decency to just console her and leave.

But when I raise her face to look at me, her feisty eyes are a much darker shade and her breathing is fast...causing her cleavage to rise and fall even more.

And God, her lips are just slightly open and plum with her hair down.

My last defence crumbles and I slowly cover the space between us, giving her a chance to back away but instead her hand snakes around to grasp my hair and our lips connect.

Jesus, April.

Slowly, our lips move against each other in rhythm then all at once I lose myself in her.

Her fingers dig in my hair and she drags me closer while leaning backward, pulling me on top of her.

My hand goes around her waist as my lips travel down to her neck.

"Ethan.." She breathes out and I don't hold back the sensation I get when I hear my name sounding like that...

My hands snake up her thigh and pull the dress over her head, briefly breaking the kiss and I stare into her deep green eyes.

"Please tell me to stop."

"Don't stop." She pants.

"Dammit, April." I say and continue kissing her when her phone buzzes.

We both freeze and I wait for her to push me away again, this was probably another spell.

I slowly move away and look down at her, searching her eyes for a reaction but she looks away and moves out of the bed, grabbing her phone and covering herself with the sheets as she heads for the bathroom.

Sighing, I run my hands through my hair.

"Fuck." I mutter and get up and leave.

Trevor is eating cereal when I come down, and I watch as his gaze washes over me and he drops his spoon.

"Noooo." He says with disbelief and a smile.

"Shut up." I say, heading for the fridge.

"Don't tell me you--"

"Shut up."

"I don't believe it." He says and walks over to me.

"Look who took the walk of shame." He says and I glare at him which only makes him laugh.

"You caused it. With that damn coffee."

"You should be happy." He says and I shake my head.

"This is bad. I want to spend more time with her but how do I do it? Whenever we meet, she is vulnerable and now I just ruined it. She'll probably want to leave."

Trevor pauses, then says,

"I doubt it."

"Wanna bet?" I say and turn to him,

"She's going to walk down here any minute and demand that she wants to go."

April's POV

"I'm so sorry, April. One minute we were dancing and then I couldn't find you."

"It's okay." I say, my mind barely in the conversation with Gretchen. Staring at the mirror, I touch my lip subconsciously, remembering the way he had kissed me, how he had taken off my dress and begged me to make him stop.

But I couldnt. I had wanted it...so, so badly.

"April!" Gretchen yells and I snap back.

"What? Sorry."

"I said where are you? I just left the room."

"I...um.. I'm at Ethan's house." And I hear silence.

"Gretchen? Hello?"

"Oh, my God. Why didn't you tell me?" She screams.

"Because I'm not supposed to be here, I got drunk and he brought me here."

"Well, that's still amazing."

"No, it's not. I'll soon be leaving anyway."

"What! Why?" She yells.

"Because--"

"Is that what you're going to keep doing? Every time you need him he helps you and then you'll just run away?"

Oh my God. ..I'm a terrible person.

"I'm not running away..."

"Remember what I told you about drama."

"Staying here is drama."

"No, it's grattitude. How many guys would help you over and over again when you have absolutely no relationship with them whatsoever?"

"When you put it that way..."

"That's the way it is. I don't want to see back here, okay? Bye!"

And the call is over.

Taking a deep breath, I open the door slightly and find the room empty. Slowly, I slip out of the bathroom and stare down at the blue dress. I couldn't wear that to go down, not with the way he was staring at me.

Or the way he was kissing me...

Or the way his hands were every where on my body. My skin is still tingling around my neck and there is a small hickey just above my collarbone.

Get it together, April.

Wrapping the sheets around me tighter, I use my hair to cover the hickey as I leave the room. I'll ask him if I can stay a little while and if he refuses....

If he refuses...

That's a good thing right?

When I get to the bottom of the stairs, I head for the kitchen and they're both backing me. Trevor is facing the sink and Ethan is raiding the fridge.

He must have sensed my presence because he turns.

"April." He says and Trevor turns.

Dammit, don't call my name like that...

Like its the most precious thing.

I can feel my face beat up as Trevor takes in my appearance. Hair messy, wrapped up in white sheets and my lips slightly swollen.

"Umm...Hi, Trevor."

"Hey sweetie." He says with a smile and Ethan glares at him.

"Don't call her that." He says then walks over to me, grey eyes searching mine.

"I um...I thought you would leave."

Uh-oh

"You want me to leave?" I ask.

"What? No...no."

"Because I can go if you want. I don't mean to intrude."

"No, that's not what I meant. I'm just used to you leaving."

Dammit, why did Gretchen have to be right?

"I was wondering if you would let me take a shower."

"Where? Here?" His eyes are still searching deep into my thoughts.

"Is that going to be a trouble?"

"No...um.."

"Maybe I should just leave."

I can't tell what he wants and I'm suffocating in this cluelessness.

"Wait. No."

"But I can't take a shower here?"

"What?"

"What?"

He leans his head back and takes a deep breath and I want to vanish.

Screw you, alcohol.

He looks back at me, eyes never leaving mine.

"April. You can have a shower here, I don't mind. I'm just surprised."

Finally!

"Thanks." I say and head back up the stairs, feeling his eyes on me the entire time.

His bathroom has a bathtub and a shower stall. I pick the shower, thankful for the hot water as I shampoo my hair and scrub off the make up. The headache is down a notch and I feel better when I'm done.

In a hurried 10 minutes, I brush my wet hair and put on my underwear, wearing only my short tights and bra.

Slowly, I slip back into the room and curse myself twice for forgetting I had no clothes.

Then I curse at the blue dress.

I stare at his wardrobe and quickly decide to put on one of his black shirts and shorts before he walks in and sees me in this.

I clean up the bed guiltily and fold my clothes.

"Okay. Okay...okay. Don't over think it April...don't." I mutter the words of encouragement as I slip out of the room and down the stairs. Ethan is pouring cereal into a bowl and Trevor is in the living room.

When Ethan spots me, his eyes scan over me.

"I hope you're not mad that I wore your clothes, I didn't know what else to wear."

He doesn't answer and I notice the bowl is overflowing with cereal.

"Your cereal." I say and he blinks suddenly and stops.

"Shit." He mutters.

I walk over to him.

"Is it the clothes? Do you want me to take them off?"

"No. No, it's okay. You just look..." He trails off and stares at me again.

"Different." He states. Staring at his bowl of cereal, I realise I'm starving but cereal won't do the trick.

"Do you have anything apart from cereal? I'm pretty hungry."

"What? Yes, ofcourse. Sorry, just help yourself to anything in the fridge."

"Now who is having automatic hormone surges?" Trevor asks as he walks in and I laugh as I put bread in the toaster and take a couple of eggs.

"That looks yummy. Do you mind adding one more? And bacon?" He says as he walks over to me.

"She's not cooking for you." Ethan says to Trevor but he just winks.

"It's fine. I don't mind, do you want anything?" I say to him.

It is his food after all and I feel bad already. The least I can do is make breakfast...and then leave.

Great.

Sleep in his room.

Wear his clothes.

Cook for him.

Where is the wedding gown?

Ethan's POV

"It's fine. I don't mind, do you want anything?" She asks staring at me and I still can't get over it.

She had come down the stairs with wet hair and my clothes on and she looked so...beautiful.

Different beautiful. Without her protective sweater and that darn ponytail, like this part of her was rare.

"Ethan?"

She says and I ignore Trevor's amused look as I nod.

"Sure. Whatever you're having. If it's no trouble."

She nods and turns to the cooker while Trevor goes back to the living room. I pour my cereal back and help her toast the bread, all the while too cautious of whatever was happening.

She was staying.

She was making breakfast... did I miss something?

Of all the times I've seen her, this was the most confusing time.