Painful Pleasures

Ethan

CHAPTER4

"Aah!" I sigh erotically as Idrop my sixth empty martini glass next to the prior five and pop the stuffedolives into my mouth. I chew and swallow, enjoying the bitter, spiky hot liquidoozing from it.

As my body tingles with excitement, my hairbrushes against my head and shoulders, making it tingle the more.

I can't help but giggle, realizing I don'tremember losing my ponytail.

"So stupid." I slurred betweengiggles as the bartender starts to take my empty glasses away.

"You okay?" He asks as he takesthe last glass.

"Okay? Pfft. I'm perfect." I saysmiling at him. Why didn't I take alcohol earlier? I've never felt so carefree.

Screw you, Jay!

"Maybe you should go home." Thebartender says, frowning as he studies me.

"Come here." I say, curling myindex finger and he leans in.

"Why so serious?" I whisper tohis ear and burst out laughing at my own words while he shakes his head.

"Joker lines huh?" He says and Inod, still giggling.

Why am I giggling again?

Who cares!

"Who says money can't buy happiness?Another dirty martini!" I exclaim and he looks at me with a frown.

"I think that's enough."

The deep voice behind me causes me to jerka little when I turn but I'm greeted with familiar grey eyes.

"Hey! Look who it is, my very ownknight in shining denim." I say smiling at his knitted brows and intensegaze.

"It's time to get you back." Hesays as he reaches over and pulls me up after dropping money for my drinks

"The name's April. Who are you, myfuture husband?" I slur as we make our way outside and he hails a cab.

"For your sake, I hope not." Hesays as he carries me inside.

"Hard to believe, since you're alreadycarrying me bridal style." I giggle and lean on him, enjoying the warmth.

"Jay never carried me, or held meclose." I say, playing with the light switch in the car. Griffin does notreply but stares at me for long with a thoughtful gaze.

I giggle at his expression, not the leastbit idea why he was staring.

"What?" I slur. My voice comesout deep and husky.

Dirty martini rocks!

"Who's Jay?" He says.

"My ex-boyfriend who broke up with meon voicemail."

"You should probably stoptalking." He says, looking away.

My words hang in my head like a black cloudand the reality I fought to ignore is back.

It didn't work out.

He didn't try to fix it.

"My life should be a realityshow..."

"Stop talking."

"I was so good to him. Do you think ifI told him I was pregnant that he would come back?"

My hands are already composing the text whenGriffin snatches my phone.

"Stop it."

"Ha! Trick question, silly. We didn'thave sex...but he felt pretty good nailing my sister." I say, realisingthe truth of the words as I hear them out loud.

"Would you just. Shut. Up." Hesays, glaring at me and the driver glances at us briefly through the rear viewmirror.

Tears clog my throat and all the emotions Ihave been fighting, the sadness, anger, confusion, everything pours out.

"What the hell? What in God's name iswrong with you! All of you! Boys are so infuriating! One minute you're yellingat me in a cafe and the next you're helping me! One minute you're saying younever want to let me go and the next you're nailing my sister in my fuckingbedroom!"

Tears are streaming down my face now andI'm pulling my hair in the explosion of emotions I had tried to hold in.

"I'm done and sick of this!" Iyell as the cab stops in front of my dorm and I push the door open and staggerout clumsily in tears.

"April!" Griffin yells, followingafter me.

I spot Gretchen in front looking aroundanxiously.

"Gretchen!" I wailed andstaggered towards her in tears.

"April, thank goodness."

She had me in her arms in a second while Icried my heart out.

"What did you do to her?" Shequestions accusingly at Griffin who hands her my bag.

"You mean other than save her fromalcohol poisoning? Don't let her drink on her own, ever again." He saidand left in the cab.

"Gretchen?"

"Hmm?" She replies, as shesmoothens my hair.

"I got to tell you something."

"What is it?" She asks.

And I puke my guts out.

****

Ethan'sPOV

I was never one to snap at a girl, ever.And that's because I have barely spoken to any since...since the incident.Apart from Kate at work, Aunt Claire and Trevor's girlfriend, Bianca.

It was all because of a girl, all becauseof one person. I had lost the best part of my life.

So when I caught red-head,--April-- staringat my book, my first instinct was to go over and drag the precious thing awaybefore she had a chance to push in away in disgust...like they always did.

But then she opened it.

And I had stood, mesmerized beyond reasonas her eyes travelled over every aspect and her fingers scanned itcarefully...the look in her eyes.

Like it was a chest of treasures.

She looked at it the way I had neverthought anyone would.

With undeniable interest.

My work.

She was interested in my work.

And then she flipped the page over and sawthe next drawing...and I remembered.

The picture.

It was in there, where I thought it wassafe because no one had ever looked at that book apart from her.

No one.

One more turn and she would find it.

The defence I had always had against girlshad snapped in...the subconscious part of me that shuts out emotions when Ihave to confront them. And it had happened then.

'And stop throwing tantrums over a drawingjournal. '

She had said and walked away.

Drawing journal? The fact that I had neverseen it that way made me chuckle instead of get mad and I never pictured a girlto be such an enigma.

So I had left for work, the part of my lifethat I could always hang on to that kept me sane.

Lectures and work.

And more work, then there will be no timeto think.

No pictures to look at.

No pain to feel.

But I couldn't brush Red--April--out of mymind, her look when she saw my work. So I had opened my book, to search forwhatever had captured her.

Surely it couldn't have beeneverything...right?

And then I saw the picture....dammit I hadforgotten I kept it there.

And then the pain returned, harder thanever. Tightening with every thought, every look at the picture.

When working didn't help, I had left forthe bar, after telling Kate I was done for the day.

Drink, get tipsy and numb the pain.

But I only had one glass, and then shecame. Face puffy, eyes swollen and her nose red.

She had been crying.

After she had defiantly ignored me...Idecided to leave. But I couldn't,...not with the number of guys eye-humping herwhen she had her fourth glass and took off whatever kept her ponytail together.

But I shouldn't have cared.

Why the hell was I concerned?

And then she had her sixth. Carrying herwas easy, I would just get her to her dorm and leave.

But then she leaned on me.

'Jay never carried me or held me close.'She had slurred but I was barely paying attention. I had gone to drink to numbthe pain, but immediately her head nestled on my shoulder and she movedclose...it was gone.

The pain.

Slowly, at first. Like it was fading.

Then all at once.

Like her warmth had...melted it.

I couldn't believe it, I had toconcentrate...figure out what was going on.

'Stop talking.'

Over and over I had said to her but shekept rambling on. Too much personal details, I didn't want to know somuch...get so involved, to be the first to hear about the breakup from the lookof it. I had to understand.

The pain was gone.

And then I told her to shut up and shesnapped. Yelling and crying and pulling her hair. I hadn't even noticed the carhad stopped and she had staggered away in tears...taking her warmth with her.

'April!'

But she was already in the arms of somegirl.

And now, here I am. Staring at her phonethat I just found in my back pocket, as I stand in front of my apartment.

Trevor opens the door.

"Hey, man. I thought you were drunkagain after Kate called to tell me you left early." He says, moving backto let me in as he stares at me. He is in a pair of shorts, holding a beerbottle.

"I was going to get drunk." Isay, my eyes never leaving the phone as I walked in. My fingers moved over thescreen...searching.

"Not anymore." I mutter when Ifind what I'm looking for.

The voicemail.

"New phone?" Trevor asks as heshuts the door.

"Not mine..April's." I say andlook at him.

April.

April.

The name came out swiftly...like I had beensaying it since childhood?

"April?" Trevor asks staring atme through brown eyes as he scratches the back of his brown, curly hair.

"The girl at the cafe." I say,remembering the look on her face when she saw my book.

Trevor freezes and I know what's comingnext.

His eyes widen as he looks down at thephone then at me.

"You killed a girl and took her phoneto hide evidence?!" He yells.

"What?"

"I knew you hated girls, Ethan butthis is way over the top!"

"Trevor. I didn't kill anyone." Isay to him and he bursts out laughing as he slaps my back.

"I'm just messing you, dude. Butseriously, why do you have a girl's phone?"

"Her name's April." I say,letting the name slip out again.

"Forgive me, your eminence. April. Howdid you get April's phone?"

I finally turn to look at Trevor and tellhim everything. Apart from being my cousin, he was probably the only friend Ihad and the only person that knew every aspect of my life.

He has always been there.

When I'm done, his bear bottle slips out ofhis hand and shatters on the ground.

"Trevor!"

"Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.Wait. You spoke to her?" He asks with wide eyes.

"More like snapped at her."

"And then you helped her." Hesays in a flat tone as he raises a brow, trying to fix the parts of the story.

I nod.

"And now you're with her phone."

I nod. I left out the part of the break upand the cheating....even I couldn't handle all that news.

"But the pain left?!"

"I'm still baffled."

"Wait. So you don't feel it?"

I nod.

"Jesus sent a miracle!" Heexclaims.

"Now, hold on Trev. I still don't knowwhat this means. Is she like a cure? Does she have magic powers? Do we bothshare something in common? Was it just a weird coincidence? I don't know. I mether today!"

Trevor walks closer, carefully avoiding theshattered glass on the floor as he puts his hand on my shoulder.

"You and I both know you've beensuffering this pain since...then. Its the one thing that has got you held on tothat incident. You didn't cry, you didn't scream. You just shut out and thenthe pain started."

He looks at me intently now.

"And now there is an April. I can'tsay it's just a weird coincidence, it's more than that. I don't know to, maybeit's a sign that you have to stop shutting out. Pucker up, Ethan. You mightneed to start hanging around with her to find out."

I glare at him but his amused expressiondoes not fade.

"Or she could be a mermaid withpowers. Let's not forget that part." He says and I can't help but chuckle.

"There we go. Now come on, I've beenwaiting for you all day so we can watch the game together on tv. Hold on let meget another bear."

He says and heads to the fridge.

"April." I mutter...just for thesake of saying her name.

Funny how one girl causes all this...

And you have to stay with another to figurethis out.

To stay with April.