Obsessed With My Alpha

Sigma and Regret

Jonah's POV

It’s been a month since I last saw Gema, and I’m feeling her absence in ways I never expected. The first few days, I tried to ignore it, told myself it was just the shock of things changing, that I’d get used to it. But I didn’t. I can’t seem to shake this feeling that something’s missing. I miss her, that bubbly personality and the way she always knows how to talk me through things, to bring me back down to earth when I start going off the rails. No one else can do that—not like she can.

And it’s more than that. I miss her scent, that soft, warm scent that’s so unmistakably hers. It’s been fading over the past few weeks, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still hold onto one of my shirts she wore the last time she stayed over. It’s stupid, maybe even pathetic, but I brought it with me. I never thought I’d be the kind of guy to cling to a t-shirt, especially for a girl I’ve only ever thought of as a friend, but here I am. I’d deny it to anyone who asked, of course, but there’s something about having this last piece of her that I can’t let go of.

Tonight is supposed to be a big deal. I’ve been invited to join the Sigma Brotherhood, the same frat my father was in. All the alpha heirs join this fraternity when they come here; it’s practically a legacy thing at this point, and I’m supposed to be following in those footsteps. The guys in Sigma are throwing a massive party to welcome us new members, and I know I should be hyped for it. It’s what everyone’s been talking about, the big event to kick off the semester. But the only thing on my mind is Gema. All I want to do is find her, hold her close, and tell her I’m sorry, that I miss her. Hell, I’d do anything just to have her back in my life.

The crazy thing is, I haven’t even looked at another she-wolf since that night, the night everything went wrong. That never happens. Normally, I wouldn’t go a week without at least hooking up with someone, but I’ve been completely off it. What’s wrong with me? I let out a sigh as I step into the shower, the hot water washing over me, easing some of the frustration that’s been building up. I close my eyes, hoping the heat will calm me down, but then Gema’s face comes to mind. Her soft, full lips, the way she’d smile and make everything seem okay even when the world felt like it was spinning out of control. I feel myself reacting, my body betraying me in a way that’s both familiar and completely out of line.

“Dammit,” I mutter, gritting my teeth as I realize there’s no avoiding this. I need to clear my head before tonight, so I take care of it quickly, hoping it’ll let me focus. But even when I’m done, the satisfaction doesn’t last. It feels hollow, temporary. She’s still there, in the back of my mind, a presence I can’t shake.

I get out of the shower, towel off, and start getting dressed. I throw on my Tommy hill muscle tee, and a pair of Tommy hill jeans, and lace up my Nike high-top sneakers, checking myself in the mirror. I look fine, I guess, but I don’t feel like myself. I feel… empty. Why is this happening? Why does it feel like I can’t even breathe without her?

Earlier today, I almost lost it when my buddies Kyan and Kade started joking about Gema. I was with them in the common room, and Kyan had just come back from the gym, laughing as he told us about how “Gema Harris is looking hot as hell these days.”

“Yeah,” Kade had chimed in, grinning. “She’s seriously grown up. I wouldn’t mind getting close to her if I had the chance, if you know what I mean.”

My reaction was instant. A growl ripped from my throat, low and primal, before I even realized what I was doing. Both of them froze, wide-eyed as they stared at me in confusion. Kade raised his hands, taking a step back. “Chill, Jonah! We were just joking around.”

I forced myself to stop, clenching my jaw as I tried to get a grip. I didn’t even know what had come over me. It was like every fiber of my being went on high alert at the thought of anyone else even looking at her. I shook it off, laughed it away, but the feeling lingered, heavy and unsettling. This isn’t me. Gema’s been my best friend since forever, but I’ve never felt this way before. I’ve never felt this… possessive.

It’s like something in me snapped that night when I saw the hurt in her eyes, and now I can’t unsee it. She’s beautiful; I can admit that. Her hazel eyes have this warmth to them, like they see right through me, and her sandy brown hair falls in these perfect waves around her face. She’s changed, too—training with the warriors has made her leaner, more confident. I used to think of her as my little sister, someone I had to protect. But she’s not that little kid anymore. She’s fierce and beautiful, and somehow, I’m only now seeing it. Or maybe I’ve been seeing it for a while and just didn’t want to admit it.

But I know she’s not my fated mate. I would have felt the bond if she were. I would have known. And I’m not what she needs, not really. I’m too messed up, too stuck in my ways to be the kind of guy she deserves. Gema deserves someone whole, someone who can give her everything. I can’t even figure out my own feelings half the time, let alone take care of hers.

I take a deep breath, pushing all those thoughts out of my head. Tonight’s the Sigma party, and if I don’t show up, it’ll raise more questions than I’m ready to answer. I need to get my head on straight, be the guy everyone expects me to be. But as I leave my room and head toward the party, the weight of Gema’s absence clings to me, a constant reminder that maybe, just maybe, I’ve lost something more important than I ever realized.