Obsessed With My Alpha

Hidden Feelings

Jonah's POV

I pace the floor of my room, the tension in my chest building with every passing second as I wait for a reply from Gema. I can feel the eyes of my friends on me, each of them wearing matching expressions of confusion and frustration. Kade leans back on my bed, arms crossed, a smirk tugging at his lips.

“I don’t get it, man. Why are you getting so worked up about your best friend and not the fact that Rebecca dumped your ass?” he says, raising an eyebrow as he watches me with obvious amusement.

“Yeah, bro,” Kyan chimes in, snickering. “You’re acting like losing Gema is the real breakup here.”

I stop pacing, feeling their words hit harder than I’d like to admit. They’re right, of course. Rebecca and I were supposedly dating, and now she’s gone. But instead of feeling anything about that, all I can think about is Gema, and how things are off between us, how she hasn’t answered my messages in days. It’s like there’s this gnawing ache every time I think about her, this fear that I’ve messed everything up.

Liam glances at me, shrugging as he fiddles with a pen from my desk. “Maybe you should just tell her how you feel, man. Whatever that even is,” he adds, his tone light, but I catch the knowing look in his eyes.

“I don’t…” I start, but the words catch in my throat. I don’t know what to say. It’s not like I know exactly what’s going on in my own head. All I know is that Gema’s slipping away, and it’s driving me crazy.

Kade snorts. “Man, just admit it. You’re hooked. You’re freaking out because you actually care what she thinks, more than anyone else.”

They’re all staring at me, waiting for some kind of reaction, some admission. But I just shake my head, trying to brush it off. “She’s my best friend,” I mutter, but even as I say it, the words feel hollow.

Kyan raises an eyebrow, leaning back. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that. We’ll be here when you figure it out.”

I let out a long breath, finally dropping into the chair by my desk, feeling the weight of my friends’ stares. They’re waiting, each of them wearing that look—the one that says they know I’m hiding something. Kade, Kyan, and Liam have been watching me spiral over Gema for weeks, and now that Rebecca’s out of the picture, they’re convinced this is about more than friendship.

Kade leans forward, crossing his arms. “Alright, man. Just spill it. Why are you so freaked out about being with Gema? She’s got you wrapped up more than anyone, and you know it.”

I rub my hands over my face, groaning. It feels like I’ve been carrying around this weight forever, and now that they’re cornering me, it’s like I can’t avoid it anymore. I glance up, meeting their expectant stares, and then I let it out, the truth I haven’t told anyone.

“I can’t be with her, alright?” My voice comes out rough, and I hate how raw it sounds. “It’s not… it’s not that I don’t feel something for her. But if I let myself care too much, if I let her in, I’m just going to mess it all up. Love… love isn’t safe. I watched my mom lose herself because she loved my dad, and he didn’t love her back. He warned me about it—said love would be the end of me, and if I cared about anyone too much, they’d just ruin me.”

Liam nods slowly, watching me with that look of quiet understanding. “So, you’re afraid of becoming like your dad?”

“Or worse,” I mutter, swallowing hard. “I’m afraid I’ll do to Gema what he did to my mom. My dad never bonded with my mom, never completed it. He always stayed distant, and she… she couldn’t handle it. She…” My voice trails off as the memories surface, painful and vivid. “I don’t want to hurt Gema. She deserves someone who can give her everything, not someone who’s only going to end up shutting her out because he’s afraid of losing her.”

Kyan lets out a low whistle. “So you’re pushing her away to protect her? Dude, that’s twisted.”

“Yeah, man,” Kade agrees, giving me a sympathetic smile. “But what if you’re wrong? What if letting her in is what saves you? You’ve been holding on to your dad’s warnings, but you’re not him. And Gema… she’s not your mom. She’s stronger than that.”

I shake my head, struggling with everything they’re saying. “I can’t risk it. I don’t know how to let someone in without losing myself. And if fate has some other plan… if she’s supposed to be with someone else, I’d rather walk away now than watch her end up with someone else when it’s too late.”

Liam looks at me, his expression a mix of sympathy and frustration. “You’re so focused on the past, man. But maybe what Gema needs is for you to focus on right now. Just… think about it, alright?”

I nod, but I’m not sure anything they’re saying is getting through. I’m too tangled up in my own fear, my own belief that love can ruin even the best of people. Before I can dwell on it, my phone buzzes, and I look down, feeling a pang in my chest as I see Gema’s name light up my screen.

**Gema:** *Okay, truce. Until tomorrow. Meet me at our spot when the moon is at its highest. I’ve got something to tell you.*

I read the message over and over, my mind racing. She’s reached out to me, despite everything, despite my constant back and forth. I feel a flicker of hope, something that’s hard to ignore.

“What’s up?” Kyan asks, noticing the look on my face.

“It’s Gema,” I say quietly, tucking my phone away. “She wants to meet at our spot tonight. Says she has something to tell me.”

The guys exchange glances, and I can practically feel the silent encouragement radiating off them. Liam claps me on the shoulder. “Take the chance, man. Don’t overthink it. Just listen to her.”

I nod, my heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and dread. Tonight, I’d hear what Gema had to say. And maybe—just maybe—I’d figure out what the hell I’m supposed to do with these feelings that won’t go away.