Tempest

Act 2, Scene II

Enter CALIBAN with a burden of wood. A noise of thunder heard

CALIBAN

All the infections that the sun sucks up

From bogs, fens, flats, on Prosper fall and make him

By inch-meal a disease! His spirits hear me

And yet I needs must curse. But they'll nor pinch,

Fright me with urchin--shows, pitch me i' the mire,

Nor lead me, like a firebrand, in the dark

Out of my way, unless he bid 'em; but

For every trifle are they set upon me;

Sometime like apes that mow and chatter at me

And after bite me, then like hedgehogs which

Lie tumbling in my barefoot way and mount

Their pricks at my footfall; sometime am I

All wound with adders who with cloven tongues

Do hiss me into madness.

Enter TRINCULO

Lo, now, lo!

Here comes a spirit of his, and to torment me

For bringing wood in slowly. I'll fall flat;

Perchance he will not mind me.

TRINCULO

Here's neither bush nor shrub, to bear off

any weather at all, and another storm brewing;

I hear it sing i' the wind: yond same black

cloud, yond huge one, looks like a foul

bombard that would shed his liquor. If it

should thunder as it did before, I know not

where to hide my head: yond same cloud cannot

choose but fall by pailfuls. What have we

here? a man or a fish? dead or alive? A fish:

he smells like a fish; a very ancient and fish-

like smell; a kind of not of the newest Poor-

John. A strange fish! Were I in England now,

as once I was, and had but this fish painted,

not a holiday fool there but would give a piece

of silver: there would this monster make a

man; any strange beast there makes a man:

when they will not give a doit to relieve a lame

beggar, they will lazy out ten to see a dead

Indian. Legged like a man and his fins like

arms! Warm o' my troth! I do now let loose

my opinion; hold it no longer: this is no fish,

but an islander, that hath lately suffered by a

thunderbolt.

Alas, the storm is come again! my best way is to

creep under his gaberdine; there is no other

shelter hereabouts: misery acquaints a man with

strange bed-fellows. I will here shroud till the

dregs of the storm be past.

Enter STEPHANO, singing: a bottle in his hand

STEPHANO

I shall no more to sea, to sea,

Here shall I die ashore--

This is a very scurvy tune to sing at a man's

funeral: well, here's my comfort.

The master, the swabber, the boatswain and I,

The gunner and his mate

Loved Mall, Meg and Marian and Margery,

But none of us cared for Kate;

For she had a tongue with a tang,

Would cry to a sailor, Go hang!

She loved not the savour of tar nor of pitch,

Yet a tailor might scratch her where'er she did itch:

Then to sea, boys, and let her go hang!

This is a scurvy tune too: but here's my comfort.

CALIBAN

Do not torment me: Oh!

STEPHANO

What's the matter? Have we devils here? Do you put

tricks upon's with savages and men of Ind, ha? I

have not scaped drowning to be afeard now of your

four legs; for it hath been said, As proper a man as

ever went on four legs cannot make him give ground;

and it shall be said so again while Stephano

breathes at's nostrils.

CALIBAN

The spirit torments me; Oh!

STEPHANO

This is some monster of the isle with four legs, who

hath got, as I take it, an ague. Where the devil

should he learn our language? I will give him some

relief, if it be but for that. if I can recover him

and keep him tame and get to Naples with him, he's a

present for any emperor that ever trod on neat's leather.

CALIBAN

Do not torment me, prithee; I'll bring my wood home faster.

STEPHANO

He's in his fit now and does not talk after the

wisest. He shall taste of my bottle: if he have

never drunk wine afore will go near to remove his

fit. If I can recover him and keep him tame, I will

not take too much for him; he shall pay for him that

hath him, and that soundly.

CALIBAN

Thou dost me yet but little hurt; thou wilt anon, I

know it by thy trembling: now Prosper works upon thee.

STEPHANO

Come on your ways; open your mouth; here is that

which will give language to you, cat: open your

mouth; this will shake your shaking, I can tell you,

and that soundly: you cannot tell who's your friend:

open your chaps again.

TRINCULO

I should know that voice: it should be--but he is

drowned; and these are devils: O defend me!

STEPHANO

Four legs and two voices: a most delicate monster!

His forward voice now is to speak well of his

friend; his backward voice is to utter foul speeches

and to detract. If all the wine in my bottle will

recover him, I will help his ague. Come. Amen! I

will pour some in thy other mouth.

TRINCULO

Stephano!

STEPHANO

Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy! This is

a devil, and no monster: I will leave him; I have no

long spoon.

TRINCULO

Stephano! If thou beest Stephano, touch me and

speak to me: for I am Trinculo--be not afeard--thy

good friend Trinculo.

STEPHANO

If thou beest Trinculo, come forth: I'll pull thee

by the lesser legs: if any be Trinculo's legs,

these are they. Thou art very Trinculo indeed! How

camest thou to be the siege of this moon-calf? can

he vent Trinculos?

TRINCULO

I took him to be killed with a thunder-stroke. But

art thou not drowned, Stephano? I hope now thou art

not drowned. Is the storm overblown? I hid me

under the dead moon-calf's gaberdine for fear of

the storm. And art thou living, Stephano? O

Stephano, two Neapolitans 'scaped!

STEPHANO

Prithee, do not turn me about; my stomach is not constant.

CALIBAN

[Aside] These be fine things, an if they be

not sprites.

That's a brave god and bears celestial liquor.

I will kneel to him.

STEPHANO

How didst thou 'scape? How camest thou hither?

swear by this bottle how thou camest hither. I

escaped upon a butt of sack which the sailors

heaved o'erboard, by this bottle; which I made of

the bark of a tree with mine own hands since I was

cast ashore.

CALIBAN

I'll swear upon that bottle to be thy true subject;

for the liquor is not earthly.

STEPHANO

Here; swear then how thou escapedst.

TRINCULO

Swum ashore. man, like a duck: I can swim like a

duck, I'll be sworn.

STEPHANO

Here, kiss the book. Though thou canst swim like a

duck, thou art made like a goose.

TRINCULO

O Stephano. hast any more of this?

STEPHANO

The whole butt, man: my cellar is in a rock by the

sea-side where my wine is hid. How now, moon-calf!

how does thine ague?

CALIBAN

Hast thou not dropp'd from heaven?

STEPHANO

Out o' the moon, I do assure thee: I was the man i'

the moon when time was.

CALIBAN

I have seen thee in her and I do adore thee:

My mistress show'd me thee and thy dog and thy bush.

STEPHANO

Come, swear to that; kiss the book: I will furnish

it anon with new contents swear.

TRINCULO

By this good light, this is a very shallow monster!

I afeard of him! A very weak monster! The man i'

the moon! A most poor credulous monster! Well

drawn, monster, in good sooth!

CALIBAN

I'll show thee every fertile inch o' th' island;

And I will kiss thy foot: I prithee, be my god.

TRINCULO

By this light, a most perfidious and drunken

monster! when 's god's asleep, he'll rob his bottle.

CALIBAN

I'll kiss thy foot; I'll swear myself thy subject.

STEPHANO

Come on then; down, and swear.

TRINCULO

I shall laugh myself to death at this puppy-headed

monster. A most scurvy monster! I could find in my

heart to beat him,--

STEPHANO

Come, kiss.

TRINCULO

But that the poor monster's in drink: an abominable monster!

CALIBAN

I'll show thee the best springs; I'll pluck thee berries;

I'll fish for thee and get thee wood enough.

A plague upon the tyrant that I serve!

I'll bear him no more sticks, but follow thee,

Thou wondrous man.

TRINCULO

A most ridiculous monster, to make a wonder of a

Poor drunkard!

CALIBAN

I prithee, let me bring thee where crabs grow;

And I with my long nails will dig thee pignuts;

Show thee a jay's nest and instruct thee how

To snare the nimble marmoset; I'll bring thee

To clustering filberts and sometimes I'll get thee

Young scamels from the rock. Wilt thou go with me?

STEPHANO

I prithee now, lead the way without any more

talking. Trinculo, the king and all our company

else being drowned, we will inherit here: here;

bear my bottle: fellow Trinculo, we'll fill him by

and by again.

CALIBAN

[Sings drunkenly]

Farewell master; farewell, farewell!

TRINCULO

A howling monster: a drunken monster!

CALIBAN

No more dams I'll make for fish

Nor fetch in firing

At requiring;

Nor scrape trencher, nor wash dish

'Ban, 'Ban, Cacaliban

Has a new master: get a new man.

Freedom, hey-day! hey-day, freedom! freedom,

hey-day, freedom!

STEPHANO

O brave monster! Lead the way.