Tempest

Act 3, Scene II

Enter CALIBAN, STEPHANO, and TRINCULO

STEPHANO

Tell not me; when the butt is out, we will drink

water; not a drop before: therefore bear up, and

board 'em. Servant-monster, drink to me.

TRINCULO

Servant-monster! the folly of this island! They

say there's but five upon this isle: we are three

of them; if th' other two be brained like us, the

state totters.

STEPHANO

Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee: thy eyes

are almost set in thy head.

TRINCULO

Where should they be set else? he were a brave

monster indeed, if they were set in his tail.

STEPHANO

My man-monster hath drown'd his tongue in sack:

for my part, the sea cannot drown me; I swam, ere I

could recover the shore, five and thirty leagues off

and on. By this light, thou shalt be my lieutenant,

monster, or my standard.

TRINCULO

Your lieutenant, if you list; he's no standard.

STEPHANO

We'll not run, Monsieur Monster.

TRINCULO

Nor go neither; but you'll lie like dogs and yet say

nothing neither.

STEPHANO

Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest a

good moon-calf.

CALIBAN

How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe.

I'll not serve him; he's not valiant.

TRINCULO

Thou liest, most ignorant monster: I am in case to

justle a constable. Why, thou deboshed fish thou,

was there ever man a coward that hath drunk so much

sack as I to-day? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie,

being but half a fish and half a monster?

CALIBAN

Lo, how he mocks me! wilt thou let him, my lord?

TRINCULO

'Lord' quoth he! That a monster should be such a natural!

CALIBAN

Lo, lo, again! bite him to death, I prithee.

STEPHANO

Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head: if you

prove a mutineer,--the next tree! The poor monster's

my subject and he shall not suffer indignity.

CALIBAN

I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleased to

hearken once again to the suit I made to thee?

STEPHANO

Marry, will I kneel and repeat it; I will stand,

and so shall Trinculo.

Enter ARIEL, invisible

CALIBAN

As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant, a

sorcerer, that by his cunning hath cheated me of the island.

ARIEL

Thou liest.

CALIBAN

Thou liest, thou jesting monkey, thou: I would my

valiant master would destroy thee! I do not lie.

STEPHANO

Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in's tale, by

this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.

TRINCULO

Why, I said nothing.

STEPHANO

Mum, then, and no more. Proceed.

CALIBAN

I say, by sorcery he got this isle;

From me he got it. if thy greatness will

Revenge it on him,--for I know thou darest,

But this thing dare not,--

STEPHANO

That's most certain.

CALIBAN

Thou shalt be lord of it and I'll serve thee.

STEPHANO

How now shall this be compassed?

Canst thou bring me to the party?

CALIBAN

Yea, yea, my lord: I'll yield him thee asleep,

Where thou mayst knock a nail into his bead.

ARIEL

Thou liest; thou canst not.

CALIBAN

What a pied ninny's this! Thou scurvy patch!

I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows

And take his bottle from him: when that's gone

He shall drink nought but brine; for I'll not show him

Where the quick freshes are.

STEPHANO

Trinculo, run into no further danger:

interrupt the monster one word further, and,

by this hand, I'll turn my mercy out o' doors

and make a stock-fish of thee.

TRINCULO

Why, what did I? I did nothing. I'll go farther

off.

STEPHANO

Didst thou not say he lied?

ARIEL

Thou liest.

STEPHANO

Do I so? take thou that.

Beats TRINCULO

As you like this, give me the lie another time.

TRINCULO

I did not give the lie. Out o' your

wits and bearing too? A pox o' your bottle!

this can sack and drinking do. A murrain on

your monster, and the devil take your fingers!

CALIBAN

Ha, ha, ha!

STEPHANO

Now, forward with your tale. Prithee, stand farther

off.

CALIBAN

Beat him enough: after a little time

I'll beat him too.

STEPHANO

Stand farther. Come, proceed.

CALIBAN

Why, as I told thee, 'tis a custom with him,

I' th' afternoon to sleep: there thou mayst brain him,

Having first seized his books, or with a log

Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,

Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember

First to possess his books; for without them

He's but a sot, as I am, nor hath not

One spirit to command: they all do hate him

As rootedly as I. Burn but his books.

He has brave utensils,--for so he calls them--

Which when he has a house, he'll deck withal

And that most deeply to consider is

The beauty of his daughter; he himself

Calls her a nonpareil: I never saw a woman,

But only Sycorax my dam and she;

But she as far surpasseth Sycorax

As great'st does least.

STEPHANO

Is it so brave a lass?

CALIBAN

Ay, lord; she will become thy bed, I warrant.

And bring thee forth brave brood.

STEPHANO

Monster, I will kill this man: his daughter and I

will be king and queen--save our graces!--and

Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys. Dost thou

like the plot, Trinculo?

TRINCULO

Excellent.

STEPHANO

Give me thy hand: I am sorry I beat thee; but,

while thou livest, keep a good tongue in thy head.

CALIBAN

Within this half hour will he be asleep:

Wilt thou destroy him then?

STEPHANO

Ay, on mine honour.

ARIEL

This will I tell my master.

CALIBAN

Thou makest me merry; I am full of pleasure:

Let us be jocund: will you troll the catch

You taught me but while-ere?

STEPHANO

At thy request, monster, I will do reason, any

reason. Come on, Trinculo, let us sing.

Flout 'em and scout 'em

And scout 'em and flout 'em

Thought is free.

CALIBAN

That's not the tune.

Ariel plays the tune on a tabour and pipe

STEPHANO

What is this same?

TRINCULO

This is the tune of our catch, played by the picture

of Nobody.

STEPHANO

If thou beest a man, show thyself in thy likeness:

if thou beest a devil, take't as thou list.

TRINCULO

O, forgive me my sins!

STEPHANO

He that dies pays all debts: I defy thee. Mercy upon us!

CALIBAN

Art thou afeard?

STEPHANO

No, monster, not I.

CALIBAN

Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises,

Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.

Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments

Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices

That, if I then had waked after long sleep,

Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming,

The clouds methought would open and show riches

Ready to drop upon me that, when I waked,

I cried to dream again.

STEPHANO

This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall

have my music for nothing.

CALIBAN

When Prospero is destroyed.

STEPHANO

That shall be by and by: I remember the story.

TRINCULO

The sound is going away; let's follow it, and

after do our work.

STEPHANO

Lead, monster; we'll follow. I would I could see

this tabourer; he lays it on.

TRINCULO

Wilt come? I'll follow, Stephano.