Caution When Swiping Right

Chapter 4

Katlin..6months later

"Shall we begin?"

"Why not, that's what I'm here for."

"Last time you were here, I asked you to write about how you were feeling and this is what you said."

'Seasons come and go but pain last forever, yes, time heals but knowing that part of hurt that will be forever with you takes a part of your fighting soul. You hold onto good memories that seems like a dream, only to wake up in a reality where everything drains you. If only a pill or a bottle can erase pain permanently, it hurts to talk, it hurts to move, it hurts to keep going. How much of this can I take?'

"You wrote this when?"

"After you told me too."

"Emotions are apart of our daily lives Katlin, without processing these feelings how could we move on?"

"That's why I'm here, I want to try, to help..me."

"What you tell me about yourself is completely between you and I, that's an oath I took upon myself, but, if I see or feel that you're a threat to yourself then I will consider maybe some time in a facility where you can think clearly."

"I'm not suicidal, trust me, if I was I would have ended my life without hesitation." I chuckled stupidly.

"I know, it's just propaganda that I state these facts to my patients."

"I know."

"The last time you were here talked about your mother, father and your Ex. Now, we talk about the man that made you take this big step in your life."

"Aiden?" I questioned.

With a soft nod. She crossed one leg over the other as she leans back against her chair. Her soft eyes reassured me that I was safe to talk freely.

"Before we talk about Aiden, I want to talk to you about something else. I've never spoken to anyone about this matter til now."

"Whatever you're ready." She hummed as she grabbed her pen.

"Children have fear of monsters, when I was little, I use to tell my parents that there was a monster in my room." Tears being to fill my eyes. "I told my mother about the monster who came at night but she never believed me." Now tear's we're shedding down my cheeks. "Ohhh..sorry..I,"

"Take your time."

Crying hysterically, I couldn't contain my emotions.

"Maybe it isn't tim-"

"NOOO," I shouted in anger.

"Okay," she softly replied as she stood up. She managed to make her way to me before handing me a tissue.

"He would come at night, he would.. he..I..it was my fault."

"No, it wasn't, never was and never will be."

"I..let..it..happen for so many years. He broke me, I'm still broken, it hurts so bad. I still feel him on me, I can't forget no matter how hard I try. I..,"

"Breathe Katlin,"

"I f*****g CAN'T!"

"Okay."

My heart was beating faster than usual, I felt numbness take over.

"Would you like to tell me his name?"

Ringing sounds filled my ears, feeling everything around me spin before passing out.

Aiden..

"You are the only person who she wrote as her contact information, how is she feeling? She's missed a few sessions, I was getting worried."

"What happened that day?" I sincerely asked wanting to know.

"I'm sorry Mr. Venera, I can't disclose any of my patient information. What they say to me stay between the patient and I."

“She hasn’t been the same, what can I do?”

She was hesitant to speak for a moment, a deep sigh following, “Maybe it would be best if you let her Ex come and talk to her.”

“WHAT!”

“I understand that sounds ridiculous but, he knows more than you. It’s best in her interests to have someone that understands.”

"I want to make myself clear, I truly love this woman. From the moment I laid eyes on her I knew she was the one. So I need you to tell me what to f*****g do to help her? Ever since she came to your office she hasn't been the same. Now you tell me to call her Ex to console her?”

“If you want to help her then yes, I know this maybe hard for you to comprehend, but Katlin was with Andrew for three years. You on the other hand have only been in the picture for less than a year.”

“f**k you.”

“Likewise,” she says with a laugh. “Listen Mr Venera, you can try to fix the issue on your own but I highly doubt you can. Please let Andrew come and help, yes he hurt her but Katlin never spoke ill of him. I truly believe he will somehow get her through whatever she’s dealing with.”

My mind was throbbing in pain, I look up to see Katlin looking out the window, numb to her surrounding.

“If he f***s up then it’s on you.”

“I really do believe he can be trusted. The way Katlin spoke about Andrew, I sense he loved her but like all men he chose to hurt the person he once cared for.”

I hung up without saying anything, throwing the phone across the room.

Startled, Katlin turned around to look at me from the other side of the room.

“Is everything alright?” She says while wrapping her arms around herself.

“Why aren’t you wearing something to keep warm?”

Katlin…

He walked over, grabbing the throw blanket that laid on the white couch. Making his way towards me, he carefully placed the blanket around my shoulders.

“Why are you always sad Katlin?”

The same question was asked ever day, and like always my response was. “I’m not sad, just disappointed.”

“In yourself, I know, you’ve said that over and over for the past two months. Why are you disappointed?”

“I don’t kno-“

“STOP SAYING YOU DON’T KNOW!” He angrily shouted.

I pull away from him.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scream. I’m…I feel like… you have to tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”

I wanted to tell him everything but couldn’t.

“Can you please leave, I want to be alone.”

He eyes held sadness, I could tell he was trying to help.

“Okay, I’ll come back around midnight. I have work to finish.” He steps closer, cupping my cheeks. “Please eat and try to sleep. If you want anything, call me.” He stated before genuinely and softly kissing my lips.

Walking away from me, he grabbed the coat off the floor placed it on before opening the front door. He looks back at me, defeated, shoulders slumped downward. “It hurts to see someone you love in pain.”

He exited out the apartment only for me to fall to my knees.

Aiden…

“Are you okay?” Eric asked as I stood in front of Andrew’s apartment door.

“They say you do dumb s**t for love, guess that’s what I’m doing now.” Stating before pounding the door hard.

This is so f****d up.

Continuously banging the door in anger before the door opens.

“What the f**k is wrong with you?” The asshole shouted.

Grabbing him by his shirt, I pushed him back. Screams from a women from the distance could be heard.

“What do I owe the pleasure of this visitation?”

The women in the far corner of the kitchen looks terrified.

“Tell your friend to leave, I need to have a word with you.”

Andrew tilted his head for her to go into a room.

Grabbing both my hands, he pushes me off. “Why the f**k are you here Aiden, aren’t you suppose to be with Katlin? How is that going by the way?” Amusingly asking with a smirk on his lip.

“She isn’t doing well.”

The look on his face changed from annoyed to concerned. “What’s wrong with her?”

“I don’t know, maybe you can tell me?”

“If this is one of your games Aiden I swear-“

“IM NOT f*****g AROUND ANDREW,”

He looks around the room in a frantic mood. Searching for something, he finds the phone on the kitchen counter before grabbing it.

“What the hell are you doing Andrew?”

Without answering, goes into the room where the women was in. “I’ll be going out with my friends for the evening, you can stay or leave if you want. I’ll call you tomorrow.” He says to the women before kissing her.

He looks at Eric and I before heading out his apartment. We followed him to the elevator in silence.

“What happened?” He genuinely asked as he tried to call someone.

“She went to see her therapist and-“

“f**k,” he lashed out. Exiting the elevator he rushes out the apartment complex.

“This is the same man that cheated on her?” Eric says, causing my mind to go in a panic.

As soon as Eric and I exit the complex, Andrew was in a taxi cab.

“So let me get this straight, you came to her Ex for help?” Eric says.

My fist reacted on its on, landing on Eric’s face.

“f*****g b***h,” he hissed in pain. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“I don’t know.”

….

Katlin…

It hasn’t been an hour since Aiden left, I turn to the doorknob that rattled before it opened. My eyes widened as Andrew came in, followed by Aiden.

“What is he doing here?”

“First of all why aren’t you wearing a sweater,” Andrew states as he walks closer to me.

He knelt down on his knee and grabbed the blanket off the floor. “Your breath smells,” he added while covering me with the blanket.

“Why are you here?”

“Aiden came by and talked, you came up in the conversation and he told me you weren’t doing well. How far did you get with the therapist?”

Tears filled my eyes, this bastered knew everything.

“You look so ugly when you cry, please stop.”

I laughed while the tears streamed down my cheeks.

“Don’t ever be disappointed Katlin,” he whispered while pulling out gum from his pocket. “Sorry, it’s big red and I know you hate it but trust me you need it.”

I laughed, and it felt good.

“Are we trying to get better by seeing a therapist or is it for him?” Andrew asked while nodding his head towards Aiden who I seem to forgot about.

Aiden pulls himself out the doorway. “You two talk, I’ll be in the room.” He walks away sadly.

“Hey,” Andrew whispers, turning my head towards him.

“I don’t want him to go through what you went through.”

“So I get the pushes and the late night terror while he get you healed and well?”

“Andrew, I-“

“I’m joking Kitty,” he says while wiping my snotty nose with his shirt. “I want you to get better forever, for yourself, so you can sleep at night. I’ve always wanted that for you.”

“I’m sorry Andrew, I know you I’ve hurt you but you hurt me even worse. You said you wait and you didn’t.”

He exhaled deeply. “Maybe it was for the best,” he replied.

“Look, Aiden is harsh and a bit complicated but I know he will protect you when the time is right. For what I did to you. My intention was to never hurt you, I tried, so many times. Not to say it was your fault, because it never was. Maybe our relationship was meant to be. I waited three years and I would have waited a lifetime.”

“Why did you cheat? You could have said I don’t want to be with you.”

“Then you would have thought that I left you because of,” he paused. “Of what happened to you.” He whispered ever so low. “I wanted you to despises me.”

“Oh I f*****g do.”

“I know, and I’m okay with that. I don’t want anyone or anything to harm you. I’m glad I was the one you needed when we were together. Forever I’ll be there, no matter what. Please stop blaming yourself, And never be disappointed. Understood?” He calmly said as his arms wrapped around me.

He was always listening and never questioning.

“Andrew?”

“Yea,”

“Are you sure the reason why you cheated on me was not because of my past?”

“For the love of god,” he said while staring down at me. “I cheated to get you away from me, not because of what happened to you.”

“Why did you need to get away from me?”

“I thought Aiden would be better in protecting you than I would.”

“Who do I need protection from?”

He stares at me for the longest time. His eyes misted in tears. “You really need that gum.”

Pushing him off me, he chuckled softly.

“AIDEN,” he shouts.

The door to the bedroom opens, Aiden walk out. He looks towards Andrew then towards me.

…

Aiden…

She looked more relaxed and happy. Waiting in the room for what felt like forever built a deep anger inside.

He made her smile and I couldn’t do anything.

“How about you order food for Katlin, make sure she eats and brushes her teeth. You know where her vitamins are right?” Andrew questioned.

I shook my head left and right.

“Uhh, upper right corner self in her room. Next to the window, she like Chinese food so maybe get that for her tonight. Make sure she wears socks, she has low iron and her feet get cold easily. If she says she bloated after eating, there’s gas strips in the bathroom medicine cabinet. Get her latte instead of espresso but make sure she eats beforehand, uhh..wait.” He says as he grabs his phone. Looks at it for a few seconds before continuing. “The bakery is still open so maybe grab her a blueberry muffin, one cream cheese stuffed croissant

And a peanut butter chocolate chip cookie. Make sure they warm them up, and…” he stops and looks at Katlin before turning towards me. “I should go,” he nodded before rushing out. Slamming the door after him shut.

The amount of anger fueling in my body had me feeling some type of way. He knew everything about her.

“I’m going to kill him one day.” I jokingly said.

“Please don’t,” Katlin says as she begins to cry.

“I was just joking,”

Her fingers wiped away the tears that had just fallen down. “Why did you bring him?”

“I wanted you to feel better, you seem like you are, right?”

She nodded before walking towards the couch, her small figure slumping down ever so slowly, a loud growling sound echoed.

“Hungry?”

“Yes.”

“What would you like to eat?”

She looks directly into my eyes. “I want everything Andrew just said.”

“I don’t like Chinese food.”

“We’ll I do.”