In the Place We Both Love

Chapter 2: My Commanding Officer-1

CHAPTER 2: MY COMMANDING OFFICERI STOOD WITH THE GROUP of future astronauts outside of the space center waiting for clearance. The director was coming out to welcome us all to NASA. I listened to the chatter around me. There were a few returning candidates and they were giving the rookies the lowdown.

“Yeah and Col. Shepard is a hard ass. He’s flown like two or three missions and he’s real strict. Nice guy but real stand-offish, you know? Doesn’t talk much to anyone.”

“I heard he’s a real doll,” another female candidate replied.

“Yeah, I heard he’s got real pretty eyes.”

“Wasn’t he injured in that shuttle crash about two years ago? You know the one where the landing gear malfunctioned?”

“Yeah, the other pilot died, right? Yeah I think it was about two years ago. People say he took it real hard. That’s why he’s so tough.”

The conversation died as the director stepped out. He gave his welcome speech and wished us all luck. But only ten would be chosen for the next mission and of those ten, one pilot. I decided right then that the pilot would be me.

“So, what’s your name?”

I turned to see a girl fall into step beside me.

“Sergeant Serena Mills, United States Air Force,” I answered automatically.

Instantly, she drew herself up and saluted me. “Jenny Hollingsworth, Airman First Class, ma’am”

I returned the salute. “I guess we’re all the same here, huh? We’re all learning.”

“Yes ma’am.” She glanced over at me. “I’m kind of nervous though. I’m scared to death of flying.”

“Then why are you here?” I asked, staring at her.

She turned a becoming shade of pink. “I thought this would help me get over my fears. Besides, there are other things to do in NASA and the Air Force besides fly.”

I nodded at her, though something inside me began to give off warning signals. If she was afraid to fly, how could I trust her to pilot with me on a shuttle mission? “You’re right there.”

We fell silent as we entered the conference room. A tall man stood with his back to us, writing something on a dry erase board. He wore the same green jumpsuit as we wore, though I had to admit that his looked better on him than on me, hanging where it needed and clinging where it shouldn’t. He was slim, but fit. I could see the muscle bulge in his arm as he bent it to write. God, but he had really nice hands, large with long slim fingers. A man’s hands. His dark brown hair was short and clean. As Jenny and I walked in, he turned.

He had the bluest eyes I’d ever seen! They were intensely blue and very, very sad, like the happiness and sparkle had been taken from them. I admired his high cheekbones set in a long slender face. His lips looked soft, the lower one slightly fuller and very inviting. Yes he was definitely handsome.

And staring straight at me.

I quickly recovered my manners. “Good morning, sir.”

“Good morning,” he answered. I swear I almost groaned out loud at the sound of his voice. It was so soft, yet heavy, like he carried a lot on his mind. And suddenly, I found myself at a loss for words with his eyes on me.

“We, ah, we’re a little early, sir.”

He nodded. “Better early than late, right?”

“Yes sir,” I answered, blushing.

A light flush started up his neck and he cleared his throat before looking away.

Jenny was eyeing him like a starving woman at a buffet. She extended her hand and said, “Jenny Hollingsworth, United States Air Force, sir. Nice to meet you.”

The man took her outstretched hand and then turned to me. I held out my hand and his larger one closed over mine. His grip was firm and warm and the touch of his skin on mine sent shivers all through my body.

“Serena Mills, United States Air Force, sir,” I stammered.

“Sergeant,” he nodded at me.

I frowned. “How did you know my rank?”

He held up a stack of papers. “I know everything about you.” And even though he wasn’t smiling, I could feel the humor around him. For a moment, he seemed relaxed. I got the sudden impression that he wasn’t usually like this.

Slowly, his thumb rubbed circles in my palm. Sparks of heat radiated from his skin to mine. I looked up into his blue eyes and wondered if he felt the same way I did.

“And” I cleared my throat. “What is your name, sir?”

“William Shepard, United States Air Force, ma’am,” came his soft answer.

That’s when it hit me. I pulled my hand from his and saluted him smartly. “Colonel Shepard. Forgive me, sir. I-”

”As you were, Sergeant.” He curled his hand as if he were still holding mine. “No harm done. No offense taken.” He backed off as the other students filed into the room. “Please,” he said indicating the seats around the table.

I sat in the seat nearest to the board. And it happened to be near to him as well, though I didn’t plan it that way. Jenny sat down next to me.

“God knows he’s hot,” she whispered to me.

“Yeah he is. And he’s probably married or got a girlfriend or something.”

“Doubt it. His fiancé died two years ago. Kevin over there was here last year and he said that he doesn’t really date around. Only once in a while. He stays to himself.” She licked her lips, looking Col. Shepard up and down in a way that bordered on lustful. “I’d like to be the one to help him forget about her.”

I glanced over at him. He was talking to another man, one of the other instructors. The man laughed at something William said. But the good Colonel never cracked a smile. He chose that moment to turn around and he caught me staring at him. He stared back briefly before turning his attention back to the man.

“Whew! Those eyes! It’s like drowning in a pool of liquid blue crystal. I’ll bet he’s good in bed.”

“Jenny!”

“Well? Shoot, he looks at you with those eyes and all you can think about it s*x. Admit it. If he looked at you like that over a candle flame, you’d be eating out of his hand too. And you know it.”

I glanced at her as I pulled out my notebook. “I think there’s more to him than that. Much more.”

“I sure wouldn’t mind the ‘much more’ myself,” Jenny said.

I smiled, even though her words bugged me for some reason. It shouldn’t I know. I mean she had the right to look at him if she chose. He wasn’t mine. But I just couldn’t bear the thought of her touching him. I caught William’s eye again and smiled. His gaze dropped to my lips before he turned to the class.

And it turned out that the divine Col. Shepard would be teaching the majority of the lectures and most of the training labs for the pilots. I was thrilled to be in his group. He was an expert after all. He’d been where I wanted to go. I had complete faith that he would teach me everything I would need to know. And it didn’t hurt that he was easy on the eyes.

But I didn’t expect more of him than that. Nothing would come of me and him, no matter how much I wished and dreamed. No matter how many sparks shot between us when he looked at me, or when he touched me. It would be innocent. No more, no less. He was my commanding officer. And besides-

He was speaking to me!

“Sir?” I asked, blushing, embarrassed at being caught not paying attention.

“I asked you why you want to become an astronaut.”

This is what I had been waiting for. The chance to explain. For someone to understand me and why I had to do this. And he wouldn’t laugh, pick on me or make light of my dreams. I looked up into his blue eyes and felt like I was drowning. He stared back, waiting for my answer. Suddenly, the tip of his tongue slipped out to wet his lower lip. I couldn’t help but stare at him. It was an innocent gesture, not meant to entice. But suddenly, I wanted to kiss him so badly I could taste it. God, I had to get my mind off this so I could answer his question.

“I want to touch the stars, sir. I want to see for myself what Heaven looks like.”

Col. Shepard stared at me for so long I thought he hadn’t liked my answer. But then he said quietly, “I thought so.” Then he dismissed us.

As everyone was leaving, I went up to him. “Um, excuse me Colonel. Did I say something wrong?”

“Wrong? No. Why?”

“I just, I thought you wanted me to answer you, sir. So I gave you my reason.” I shifted from one foot to the other, slightly nervous. “Can I ask you something, sir?”

William nodded.

“Why did you become an astronaut?”

He fixed me with those blue eyes. “I wanted to touch the stars. I wanted to see Heaven for myself.”

I stared at him as he repeated my own words back to me. “Are you picking on me, sir?”

Slowly, he reached out and trailed his fingertip lightly down my cheek. I didn’t move, afraid he’d stop. It had been a while since someone had touched me this way. Just that gentle touch sent heat spiraling through me whether he meant it that way or not.

“I wasn’t teasing you. When I first started my training, my instructor asked us the same question. And that was my answer.”

I nodded. “Will you go again?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s the closest to Heaven I’ve ever been. And a man like me doesn’t deserve but so many glimpses of such a place, don’t you think?”

His words made me sad. I gently removed his hand from my face and raised it to my lips. It was a bold move, but I couldn’t seem to help myself. It seemed the right thing to do at the moment.

“No one deserves to ever be too far from Heaven, Colonel. Especially you.”

William’s breath seemed to catch in his throat at the touch of my lips on his palm. Suddenly, he pulled away, his face red. I quickly apologized.

“I’m sorry, sir. I forgot myself. I’m sorry.” I grabbed my stuff and backed out of the room. “With your permission, sir.” And I all but ran from the room, leaving him staring at his palm.

On the drive home, I mentally kicked myself. Why did I do that? I’d never been so bold like that before. Never. But there was something in his eyes, in the softness of his voice. I’m not sure what, a sadness, a longing maybe that seemed to come from deep within him.

And suddenly, I longed to see him smile.

______

The weeks passed and neither I nor Colonel Shepard mentioned what had happened that first day of class. He didn’t seem upset or treat me any different except that he seemed to be watching me more when he thought I wasn’t looking. So I let it go.

The Space Center was a pretty big place. People were always busy, hurrying from one place to the next. I was still trying to learn my way around. I wandered along one corridor heading towards the hangars where the planes were housed. As I passed, I heard a loud noise. I stopped to investigate.

And stopped breathing.

The shuttle was huge! Men stood on scaffolds checking this and that and making notes. The booster rockets had yet to be attached. As I watched, cranes lowered the large cone like fuel tank into place. I couldn’t move. I was totally awestruck by the shuttle and the fierce longing to be the one at the controls.

“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

I spun around, startled. “Colonel.” I saluted and he returned it. “I was just watching,” I paused. “I hope I’m not trespassing. I heard a noise and-”

”Take it easy Sergeant.” He moved up beside me, leaning against the hangar wall, arms folded across his chest. “I like to come and watch them prepare the shuttles too.”

“It’s amazing, you know? I mean, I know the how and why from the scientific standpoint, but the rational part of me can’t believe that something so big and heavy could leave the ground. Much less orbit the earth.”

“Hmm. That’s why it takes two pilots to fly one. It’s so big and complex.”

I was still staring up at the shuttle. “But it is so beautiful.”

William wasn’t looking at the shuttle anymore, but at me. I turned my head and our eyes met. “Yes. You are,” he said so softly that I wasn’t sure I’d heard him.