Have you ever found yourself smiling when you wanted to cry, more than anything else? When the strange feeling of being eaten up from inside leaves you, and you’re left with feeling dead? If you haven’t, consider yourself lucky. Because it’s not the hurt, that is killing you. It’s the pretending. The fake smiles, forced laughter, stinging eyes from keeping the tears at bay.
When I was in the North, I never thought I’d live to see another party. I also thought I would never return to Dairelis again. Or see my father’s loving gaze again. But guess what? I was wrong about all of the above.
I collapse into the chair next to my best friend, letting out a heavy sigh. She sends me a sympathetic gaze, before her eyes glance somewhere else. I don’t pay attention where to, because I am too occupied with my own baggage.
My grandparents insisted, that we throw a party for my father’s return. He didn’t want it. And neither did I. Celebrating didn’t seem proper to me under the current circumstances. By that I mean Eros’s disappearance and the Queen’s imprisonment as well. She’s being trialled in three days, which is all the more reason, why this party is so inappropriate.
But the former King and Queen wouldn’t take no for an answer, so we let them have it their way. And here we are now, two weeks after we found father in the dungeons, and two weeks after I was sent back to the South by Eros.
Everyone kept wondering, how a mere schoolboy was able to conjure a properly functioning portal, but I knew he was much more than that. I almost slap myself. I need to stop thinking about him in the past tense. He’s alive and he’s finding his way back to me. If he wasn’t … I would already know.
Gods are known for possessing extraordinary magical powers. The ones, that we posses are merely a drop into the ocean for theirs. It’s completely normal of course, they are Gods after all. It wouldn’t make sense for plain mortals to be more powerful from them.
I force myself to stop thinking about what has been and rather focus on the present. And on what is yet to come. My eyes then meet with someone, I would rather never see again. I quickly look away, nudging Elena’s knee with mine. We lock gazes and she seems to know everything just by the sour expression on my face. She rolls her eyes. “Just ignore him. Or let me deal with His Snobiness,” she instructs me, almost making a genuine smile show up on my face. Almost. I nod in agreement, trying to avoid looking in that direction.
I look everywhere else, but I can still see that he’s coming over from the corner of my eye. There’s no use in running now. I’m too late. Elena and I both turn to look at his slimy mug at the same time, our faces both expressing, that he isn’t welcome. I don’t know if he pretends to be stupid, or if he’s really stupid, but he smirks at me.
“Well, well. Long time no see, fiancée,” he greets me, and I barely prevent myself from rolling my eyes. It’s a good thing I have some self-control. If I didn’t, I would probably see the inside of my head. That’s how far my eyes would go.
“You aren’t entitled to call her that. Because she soon won’t be anymore,” Elena barks at him, her lips squeezed into a thin line. He narrows his eyes at her, his gaze suddenly turning cold.
“I don’t think I asked for an opinion, have I?” he snaps back. Ooh, so defensive. I wonder why that is? I mean, my best friend was only stating the truth. Father has promised to help me get out of this bloody betrothal, one way or another. But he did warn me, that it won’t be easy.
The Elaras are not a very important family, and they haven’t been given this kind of opportunity in a long time. It’s their only way of climbing higher up the social ladder of Atlantis. And he told me, that they won’t let go of it just like that. He explained that he thinks that’s why Teivel picked them. He knew they would cause trouble, if his plan didn’t work the way it was supposed to.
“I don’t think anyone asked for you to be born, have they?” Elena fights right back, making him blink in surprise for a moment. But he composes himself short after and his face twists with such rage, that it makes me regret, that I didn’t run away when I had the chance.
When he bangs a fist against the table, he makes many heads turn our way. But his murderous gaze is so focused on Elena, that he doesn’t see anything else. “You don’t want to play this game with me. Or do you really wish to be burned so desperately?” he hisses, making her lose her concentration for a moment. Now that’s enough! I might never want to speak to him again, but I won’t let him sweep the floor with my best friend!
“Piss off, Daniel, or I swear I’m going to make bugs rain all over you,” I growl in warning. His gaze flickers towards me and he straightens up, finally giving the poor Elena some space to breathe.
“You sure have some audacity, don’t you? Do you think I’m stupid? I know you’ve probably been screwing that nobody all over the North without any shame. But guess what? You’re stuck with me now. He’s not coming back. Not ever. No one survives the North, especially not primitive scumbags, who should never be allowed to walk upon the surface of-” Smack!
Before I’m able to react, Elena is up on her feet, her palm colliding with Daniel’s cheek. I stand up too, both of us shaking with rage. His face is now enrichened with the print of her fingers, his lips curled into a snarl.
I draw in a sharp breath, as I see him raising his hand in the air, like he’s about to hit Elena, but he doesn’t get very far. Somebody grabs his wrist and yanks him back in a not very gentle matter. In the next moment, tension fills the air as my cousin Demitri is holding Daniel up by his collar. “If you ever raise a hand on Elena or any other girl, I will castrate you with my bare hands,” he tells him calmly, but his tone is so cold, that it makes chills run down my spine.
In the next moment, he lets go of him roughly, making Daniel stumble backwards. Everyone, who had the opportunity to witness the moment is staring at them with wide eyes, while the rest of the nobles keep talking, laughing and drinking like nothing happened.
Elena and I both stare at the scene unfolding, our eyes glancing from an angry Daniel, towards a rather calm looking Demitri. But his gaze is giving away, that he isn’t so collected on the inside.
After a short stare down, Daniel realizes it wouldn’t be smart to challenge someone his own size, so he sends one last glare our way, before storming off. I send a grateful look to Demitri, while Elena collapses down to her chair. I stare at her worriedly, while my cousin gives me a short nod and turns on his heel to leave.
But in that moment, my best friend looks up, a torn look on her face. “Wait, please!” she calls after him in a longing voice, taking me aback. He stops in his tracks, and he seems to be back by our table before he even left it. Elena stands up and I watch in shock as he takes a step closer to him. “Thank you. No one has ever done something like this for me,” she says.
He seems to be searching for words, surprised that she spoke to him in such a friendly matter. After a moment he finally composes himself, offering her a humble smile. “I’m sure anyone would try to stop him from hitting you,” he declares. Her mouth curls up slightly, making him visibly stunned.
She shakes her head. “I was wrong about you,” she states, like she can’t believe her stupidity. In the next moment, my eyes almost fall out of my sockets, as she steps on her fingers and presses a soft kiss onto his cheek. Demitri’s face suddenly turns dark red, and he looks shocked, before his lips spread into a wide smile.
Watching them look so happy feels like someone just thrusted a knife into my chest. Not because I wouldn’t want to see them together. I am more than overjoyed, that Elena finally came to her senses, but it pains me to see something, that I left behind on the North.
I can’t bear to watch anymore, so I excuse myself with a forced smile and walk away, trying to keep the tears from falling. I need to be alone for a while. No talking, no laughter, no music, just me and my thoughts.
But as I get closer to my spot in the Gardens, I already notice someone else sitting on that bench. And the familiar silhouette belongs to none other, than my half-sister. Zara turns her head as soon as she hears footsteps, then turns back, discretely wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand.
She’s trying to hide them, but it’s no use. Even if she wasn’t my sister, I would know why she’s crying. The whole Atlantis already knows. The Queen’s betrayal is going to result in blood and pain. And everyone is going to be there to watch it.
I haven’t really spoken to Zara in the past two weeks. I couldn’t, even if I wanted to. She’s been hiding in her chambers ever since her mother has been locked up, not even coming down to dine with the rest of us. Flora, however, has been shooting me dirty glances on every occasion. She didn’t only resent me for hurting my sister indirectly, but also for leaving Eros behind. My jaw clenches at thought of that, making Zara stand up and begin to walk away.
“Zara, wait!” I call after her, making her freeze. She doesn’t respond, so I walk over, hoping that she’ll stay there. I’m surprised, when I realize she does, but the problem is, she is still showing her back towards me. “I want to talk to you,” I say, as I stop behind her.
I can see her drawing in a sharp breath before she turns around with a blank expression on her face. “What is it?” she asks coldly, almost making me click my tongue in annoyance. But I force myself not to. No matter everything that’s happened in the past, she’s still my sister. And she’s hurting.
“I know we’ve had … Our disagreements in the past, but you’re still family … And I just wanted to tell you, that I’m here, if you ever need anyone to talk to,” I declare nervously, watching her reaction closely. She stares at me with the same blank expression for a moment, before responding.
“Is that it?” she then asks, taking me aback with her indifference. I expected her to express at least some emotion … Her mother’s life was in the question after all. I nod, already meaning to continue, when she opens her mouth again. “Good.”
She then turns on her heel and heads deeper into the Gardens, while I stare after her in surprise. I stand there for a few moments, utterly confused. Did everyone around me lose their minds?